Effective Communication Strategies for Handling Difficult Conversations
Learn how to navigate challenging discussions with structured approaches, avoiding unintended consequences of silence. Enhance communication skills to deliver bad news, address performance issues, and handle uncomfortable topics diplomatically.
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Presentation Transcript
Im already overwhelmed. Why should I spend time on this? Too harsh Too diplomatic And Silence don t work.
I already know how to talk to people about what they re doing wrong-I m just blunt. Why should I do anything different?
I dont think theres anything that can t be talked about diplomatically. Why should I hurt people s feelings?
WHAT HE MEANT you re not on track for tenure. WHAT HE MEANT: I m concerned How s that great new article coming? Going quickly? WHAT HE HEARD Your research work is great! WHAT HE HEARD: Oh, yes, I think it ll be done soon.
Silence unintended consequences Silence about a known problem can have Silence behavior is acceptable (or even good) Silence signals to the person that the Silence issue eventually leads to a blow-up Silence about an important
A guide to developing STRUCTURED conversations STRUCTURED About difficult topics Related to personnel management issues That most people find uncomfortable And often handle badly.
Conversations Reviewed Conversations Reviewed Delivering bad news Delivering sad news Addressing rude or disrespectful behavior Addressing poor work performance Pointing out poor personal hygiene Saying no; turning down a request
PREPARE THE CONVERSATION PREPARE THE CONVERSATION Define the Problem Define the Problem What is the person saying or doing (or not saying or not doing) that is causing a problem? Why is it a problem? Separate fact from fiction Just the facts, ma am! What are my assumptions, judgments and beliefs? (Separate these from the facts)
If you cant clearly define the problem, you can t open up a conversation about resolving the problem Write it down in 3 sentences Stick to the facts
Determine your conversation goal Be realistic Have a back-up plan
DESIGN & DELIVER THE ABC MESSAGE DESIGN & DELIVER THE ABC MESSAGE Accurate Brief Clear Accurate Brief Clear
To be successful To be successful Lose the urge to control/change the other person Forget trying to prove you are right Resist the desire to insult or undermine Let go of your desire to avoid a negative reaction to this tough conversation
Stop Talking and Start LISTENING It s a conversation, not a class lecture or a conference presentation How to deal with defensive reactions How to manage outright freak-outs Tools to Stay Cool
Comments to encourage listening Tell me what s happening from your perspective What s your understanding of what I ve just said? Comments to encourage listening What s your take on this? How do you see things? I m curious about your perspective on this issue
Show confidence by embracing silence Stifle your inside voice Ask good questions Listen to understand not to deflect or rebut Acknowledge the other person s perspectives, feelings and concerns
Dont react respond Stay calm, quiet and in the moment Design your stay cool techniques in advance Never engage in blame and shame Do not attempt to prove the other person wrong Calmly explain what will happen next
Adopt the 5:1 rule Practice genuine, active appreciation of good work Master the art of saying With sincerity Without shame or guilt
