Enhancing Effective Communication Skills in the Workplace
VP, Client Services
ESI Employee Services Inc.
Effective Colleague Communication
“No matter what your line of work, your
degree of success depends on your ability
to interact effectively with other people.”
From “The 5 Essential People Skills” by Dale Carnegie
Overview
•
Communication Methods
•
Active Listening
•
Assertiveness
•
Benefits of Effective Communication
•
Four Sentence Model Approach
Internal
– fellow employees in different
departments/roles in the college
External
– students, visitors, phone, vendors
Who do you interact with?
Introduction
Despite the increase in use of the internet, cell
phones, and computers,
effective people skills
remain the most valuable skills in a workplace
The Benefits of Effective Communication
•
Needed information is conveyed to everyone
•
Better morale within departments and the
MBCC community
•
Higher level of motivation and productivity
•
Less employee conflict and more cooperation
Encourage Relationship Building
•
Team members should try to get to know one another within
the work setting.
•
You don't have to
like
everybody on the team. That’s just not
realistic!
•
Be willing to acknowledge someone’s extra efforts in assisting
you.
Be constantly aware of others
’
feelings!
•
Disagreements are a part of life and certainly the workplace
is not immune.
•
An angry or agitated person will not be able to work towards
a solution until they feel understood
•
Give co-workers the benefit of the doubt
•
Resolution of the problem is the goal- aim to resolve not win
Recognize that a perfect world is usually an illusion!
•
From time to time, workloads and tasks will be uneven
•
Seeking
“that perfect world”
invariably leads to stress,
discomfort and sometimes
anger
•
Everything we do
impacts
each other, the department,
and the school environment
Managing Conflict
•
Conflict is a natural part of life.
•
Managing conflict is a process to reduce the negative
outcomes of the opposing forces, resolve the issue
creating the negative interaction, and improve the
chances that something positive will come out of the
experience.
The Iceberg of Conflict
Issue
What Constitutes Effective Communication?
•
Being respectful
•
Hearing what is said
•
Saying what you mean
•
Working together to achieve results
Respect
is a key element in effective
communication
RESPECT
= “I care about you”
Definition:
Respect denotes both a positive feeling of
esteem for a person and also specific actions and
conduct representative of that esteem.
Showing consideration, courtesy, and care for
someone or something.
What Respect
looks like:
•
Listening
•
Giving clear instructions
•
Criticizing/Giving Feedback in private
•
Sensitivity to others’ personal boundaries
•
Apologizing for mistakes
What Respect
looks like:
•
Acknowledging colleagues
Offering praise when appropriate
Greeting one another
Responding to greetings
•
No passive-aggressive behavior
Honoring commitments
Being on time
•
No putdown gestures
Why choose to be
Respectful?
•
One person can have a positive impact on the work environment
a)
Improved morale
b)
Improved productivity
c)
Improved teamwork
•
Being nice feels good
•
Communication becomes
more effective
What
disrespect
looks like:
•
Finger wagging
•
You-statements
•
Yelling
•
Broken promises
•
Sarcasm
•
Chronic lateness
•
Never owning a mistake
•
Name calling
•
Accusatory questions
•
Interrupting
•
Completing sentences
•
Criticizing in public
•
Patronizing smile
Disrespect leads to:
•
Resentment
•
Lack of cooperation
•
Hostility
•
Opposition
•
Antagonism
•
Turnover
•
Lawsuits
Methods of Communication
Sometimes it is not
What
you say but
How
you say it
Verbal Communication
•
Words
•
Voice
•
Pitch
•
Pace
Non-Verbal Communication
•
Body Language
Arms crossed, appearing relaxed or
tense, etc…
•
Emotion of the sender and receiver
Excited, anger, upset, etc…
•
Non-verbal cues
Eye contact, facial expressions, hand
gestures, etc…
Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication
According to a study at the University of California,
credibility/believability of a message is transmitted through
words, voice, facial expressions, and body language
•
7%
Words – Content
•
38%
Voice – Tone, projection, resonance
•
55%
Facial Expressions and Body Language
Communication - The Process
•
In any communication, at least some of the
“meaning”
is lost
•
The message that is heard is often far different than
the one intended due to a variety of factors
Some Barriers to Effective Communication
•
Misreading body language, tone, and other non-verbal signs
•
Selective hearing
•
Defensiveness
•
A climate that does not support communication
•
Taking communication for granted
•
Not having the skills to communicate well
Listening skills
are a key element in effective
communication
Active Listening
Listening means gaining an understanding of
the point of view of the speaker
VS.
Hearing involves using the ears to react to the
sound of someone talking
There are four steps to Active Listening:
•
Reflect and Paraphrase
-
When you paraphrase, you repeat back to the speaker
a summary of what you believe was said.
•
Ask open-ended questions
- Ask the speaker questions as a way to invite the
speaker to elaborate on his or her ideas.
•
Use “I” statements
-
Using “
I
” statements places the burden of understanding
on
you
rather than on the speaker. Saying to someone, “You’re not making any
sense” may cause defensiveness. Instead you might say, “I’m a little confused.
Could you clarify this for me?”
•
Monitor Body Language
- Be aware of your body language and the non-verbal
messages you are sending. Use body language that conveys friendliness,
openness, and interest.
Active Listening
Barriers to Active Listening
•
Mind reading
•
Interrupting
•
Filtering
•
Rehearsing
•
Distraction
Assertiveness
is a key element in effective
communication
•
Assertiveness is key in being able to effectively
communicate
•
Assertiveness is the middle ground between being
passive or being aggressive
Assertive Communication
Assertive Communication
•
Assumes that I have the right to express myself and
be heard, and so do you, even if we do not agree
•
If I use assertive communication techniques, I will:
Take responsibility for my own thoughts and feelings
Talk about your actions, not character
Assertive
vs.
Other Styles
Passive
•
Your point of view
is more important
than mine
•
So, I won’t express
myself with
conviction
Assertive
•
Here’s my point of view
•
I’m not imposing it on
you; I’m just expressing
myself as clearly as
possible
Aggressive
•
Do it my way!
•
If you don’t agree
with me, you’re
wrong and I’ll put
you down for it
Passive
•
Overly compliant
•
Disrespectful of one’s own
interests and ideas
•
Indirect
•
Being a pushover
•
Allowing others to choose
or make decisions for us
Assertiveness is not…
Aggressive
•
Pushy
•
Arrogantly demanding
•
Righteous
•
Self-centered
•
Making others feel
humiliated and defensive
Something to think about…
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.
•
Others may respond to you being assertive in either a
passive aggressive
or
aggressive way
•
It is important to know how to deal with those reactions
Negative Reactions
How to Respond
•
Limit your body language
•
Pay attention to your tone of voice
•
Present your message in a clear and concise way
•
Know when to end an interaction that is escalating
Smile, even when you don’
t feel like it
Presenting a warm and engaging attitude creates
an
“
emotional contagion
”
that invites civility and
cooperation even in challenging situations.
The Four Sentence Model
is a key element of effective
communication
Four Sentence Model Approach
•
One Part Message
- Use
“I”
statements.
“I think/feel/believe…”
We say directly that we see, feel, hear or believe without labeling
or blaming others
•
Two Part Message –
“When you…then…”
allows us to comment
on behavior and its impact without labeling or criticizing.
•
Three Part Message
- “When you…, I feel… because…”
•
Four Part Message
- “When you…, I feel, I understand…,
and I need/want…” Statements of understanding
combined with statements of need. Acknowledges the
other person's feelings and concerns while at the same
time affirming one’s own needs as well.
Four Sentence Model Approach
(cont’d)
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.
Four Sentence Model Approach
Example:
Communicating with the Passive Employee
•
Use non-verbal cues to communicate that you are
expecting a response
•
Lean forward, remain silent, give them time to
respond
•
Perhaps say, “Jill, you have not answered my
questions. Is there a reason for that?”
•
Another suggestion might be, “I’m concerned because
I would like us to have a conversation about this.”
Communicating with the Hostile/Aggressive
Employee
•
Don’t dismiss or minimize the behavior
•
Address it early on.
Don’t wait!
•
Make it clear that this behavior will not be accepted
or tolerated
•
Use phrases such as,
“it appears”
or
“it seems”
and
“you might not be aware”
•
Know when to
end
the interaction
Summary
•
Be aware of
what
you say and
how
you say it
•
Practice
active listening skills
•
Utilize
assertiveness skills
•
Use the
Four Sentence Model Approach
Discussion
Becky is part of a team that has been working on a very large
project for the past 6 months. Recently, Becky discovered that her
co-worker, Jane, was called into the CEO’s office to receive praise
for all her hard work on the project. Becky feels angry that she did
not receive any credit for her hard work.
Becky would like to approach her manager about her concern.
How could Becky practice her assertiveness skills in this
situation?
“For good or ill, your conversation is your
advertisement. For every time you open your
mouth, you let people look into your mind”
-Bruce Barton
Call for counseling assistance:
1-800-252-4555
Visit the EAP website:
www.higheredeap.com
Download the EAP App
Go to the App Store
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Search
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”
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Develop essential people skills for successful interactions with colleagues and external contacts. Discover the benefits of effective communication, methods like active listening and assertiveness, and tips for fostering better relationships and resolving conflicts in the workplace.
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Presentation Transcript
VP, Client Services ESI Employee Services Inc. Effective Colleague Communication
No matter what your line of work, your degree of success depends on your ability to interact effectively with other people. From The 5 Essential People Skills by Dale Carnegie
Overview Communication Methods Active Listening Assertiveness Benefits of Effective Communication Four Sentence Model Approach
Who do you interact with? Internal fellow employees in different departments/roles in the college External students, visitors, phone, vendors
Introduction Despite the increase in use of the internet, cell phones, and computers, effective people skills remain the most valuable skills in a workplace
Communicating is easy!! True or False?
The Benefits of Effective Communication Needed information is conveyed to everyone Better morale within departments and the MBCC community Higher level of motivation and productivity Less employee conflict and more cooperation
Encourage Relationship Building Team members should try to get to know one another within the work setting. You don't have to likeeverybody on the team. That s just not realistic! Be willing to acknowledge someone s extra efforts in assisting you.
Be constantly aware of others feelings! Disagreements are a part of life and certainly the workplace is not immune. An angry or agitated person will not be able to work towards a solution until they feel understood Give co-workers the benefit of the doubt Resolution of the problem is the goal- aim to resolve not win
Recognize that a perfect world is usually an illusion! From time to time, workloads and tasks will be uneven Seeking that perfect world invariably leads to stress, discomfort and sometimes anger Everything we do impacts each other, the department, and the school environment
Managing Conflict Conflict is a natural part of life. Managing conflict is a process to reduce the negative outcomes of the opposing forces, resolve the issue creating the negative interaction, and improve the chances that something positive will come out of the experience.
The Iceberg of Conflict Issue Personality Emotions Interests, Needs and Desires Self-Perceptions and Self-Esteem Hidden Expectations Unresolved Issues from the Past
What Constitutes Effective Communication? Being respectful Hearing what is said Saying what you mean Working together to achieve results
Respect is a key element in effective communication
RESPECT= I care about you Definition:Respect denotes both a positive feeling of esteem for a person and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem. Showing consideration, courtesy, and care for someone or something.
What Respectlooks like: Listening Giving clear instructions Criticizing/Giving Feedback in private Sensitivity to others personal boundaries Apologizing for mistakes
What Respectlooks like: Acknowledging colleagues Offering praise when appropriate Greeting one another Responding to greetings No passive-aggressive behavior Honoring commitments Being on time No putdown gestures
Why choose to be Respectful? One person can have a positive impact on the work environment a) Improved morale b) Improved productivity c) Improved teamwork Being nice feels good Communication becomes more effective
What disrespect looks like: Finger wagging You-statements Yelling Broken promises Sarcasm Chronic lateness Never owning a mistake Name calling Accusatory questions Interrupting Completing sentences Criticizing in public Patronizing smile
Disrespect leads to: Resentment Lack of cooperation Hostility Opposition Antagonism Turnover Lawsuits
Methods of Communication Sometimes it is not Whatyou say but Howyou say it
Verbal Communication Non-Verbal Communication Words Body Language Voice Arms crossed, appearing relaxed or tense, etc Pitch Emotion of the sender and receiver Pace Excited, anger, upset, etc Non-verbal cues Eye contact, facial expressions, hand gestures, etc
Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication According to a study at the University of California, credibility/believability of a message is transmitted through words, voice, facial expressions, and body language 7% Words Content 38% Voice Tone, projection, resonance 55% Facial Expressions and Body Language
Communication - The Process In any communication, at least some of the meaning is lost The message that is heard is often far different than the one intended due to a variety of factors
Some Barriers to Effective Communication Misreading body language, tone, and other non-verbal signs Selective hearing Defensiveness A climate that does not support communication Taking communication for granted Not having the skills to communicate well
Listening skills are a key element in effective communication
Active Listening Listening means gaining an understanding of the point of view of the speaker VS. Hearing involves using the ears to react to the sound of someone talking
Active Listening There are four steps to Active Listening: Reflect and Paraphrase - When you paraphrase, you repeat back to the speaker a summary of what you believe was said. Ask open-ended questions - Ask the speaker questions as a way to invite the speaker to elaborate on his or her ideas. Use I statements - Using I statements places the burden of understanding on you rather than on the speaker. Saying to someone, You re not making any sense may cause defensiveness. Instead you might say, I m a little confused. Could you clarify this for me? Monitor Body Language - Be aware of your body language and the non-verbal messages you are sending. Use body language that conveys friendliness, openness, and interest.
Barriers to Active Listening Mind reading Interrupting Filtering Rehearsing Distraction
Assertiveness is a key element in effective communication
Assertive Communication Assertiveness is key in being able to effectively communicate Assertiveness is the middle ground between being passive or being aggressive
Assertive Communication Assumes that I have the right to express myself and be heard, and so do you, even if we do not agree If I use assertive communication techniques, I will: Take responsibility for my own thoughts and feelings Talk about your actions, not character
Assertive vs. Other Styles Assertive Aggressive Passive Your point of view is more important than mine Here s my point of view Do it my way! So, I won t express myself with conviction I m not imposing it on you; I m just expressing myself as clearly as possible If you don t agree with me, you re wrong and I ll put you down for it
Assertiveness is not Aggressive Passive Pushy Overly compliant Arrogantly demanding Disrespectful of one s own interests and ideas Righteous Indirect Self-centered Being a pushover Making others feel humiliated and defensive Allowing others to choose or make decisions for us
Something to think about Not everyone needs to work on being more Not everyone needs to work on being more assertive. Some people are naturally assertive and assertive. Some people are naturally assertive and just need to learn how to stand up to overly just need to learn how to stand up to overly dominant personalities. dominant personalities.
Negative Reactions Others may respond to you being assertive in either a passive aggressive or aggressive way It is important to know how to deal with those reactions
How to Respond Limit your body language Pay attention to your tone of voice Present your message in a clear and concise way Know when to end an interaction that is escalating
Smile, even when you dont feel like it Presenting a warm and engaging attitude creates an emotional contagion that invites civility and cooperation even in challenging situations.
The Four Sentence Model is a key element of effective communication
Four Sentence Model Approach One Part Message - Use I statements. I think/feel/believe We say directly that we see, feel, hear or believe without labeling or blaming others Two Part Message When you then allows us to comment on behavior and its impact without labeling or criticizing.
Four Sentence Model Approach (contd) Three Part Message - When you , I feel because Four Part Message - When you , I feel, I understand , and I need/want Statements of understanding combined with statements of need. Acknowledges the other person's feelings and concerns while at the same time affirming one s own needs as well.
Four Sentence Model Approach Example: When you come in late every Monday, I feel angry because I have When you come in late every Monday, I feel angry because I have to do your work. I understand you may have a transportation to do your work. I understand you may have a transportation problem, but I need you to be here on time so we can help each problem, but I need you to be here on time so we can help each other out with the Monday morning responsibilities. other out with the Monday morning responsibilities.
Summary Be aware of what you say and how you say it Practice active listening skills Utilize assertiveness skills Use the Four Sentence Model Approach
Call for counseling assistance: 1-800-252-4555 Visit the EAP website: www.higheredeap.com Download the EAP App Go to the App Store -Search EAP
The Leader in Productivity Solutions More benefits More programs More value than any other EAP
