Skills for Carers Workshop Overview

 
Alice Matthews & Suzanne McCulloch
19
th
 March 2024
 
EXPLORING SKILLS
FOR CARERS
 
Learn about our carer coaching programme 
Nexus
Explore skills for carers
 
WITHIN THIS
WORKSHOP…
 
Carers that refer into our Nexus Programme face differing and
challenging situations.
 
The nature of the relationship with their loved one, family
dynamics, caring responsibilities, comorbidities, and the
Eating disorder vary…
 
COACHING SUPPORT
 
C
A
RER GOALS
 
'For me to have more confidence in how to help 
my
 daughter, as well as to reduce my enabling behaviours
’.
 
‘To b
e able to confidently support my sister. To 
b
reak down barriers and rebuild and develop a healthier relationship’.
 
‘ To b
e able to support my partner without feeling anger or upset, and 
to b
e able to control my emotions better’.
 
'To feel stronger, so that I can support 
my child 
better. To know what to do to support her. To have strategies to help me
when things go wrong’.
 
‘To have a better understanding of how my partner's eating disorder affects her mental and physical health’.
 
 
‘To gain confidence in helping my loved one and feel less out of my depth. ‘To learn how to set heathy boundaries’.
 
To learn more about the Eating disorder, find a way to manage my own well being, and  feel less swamped by the enormity of
everything’.
 
 
 
 
A 12-week programme.
 
NEXUS
Early intervention
 
Anorexia Nervosa
Binge Eating Disorder
Bulimia Nervosa
OSFED
 
Neuro divergence
Comorbidities
 
1-1 Coaching support for adult carers of a loved one (13+)
with disordered eating.
 
12 weekly 40-minute telephone calls.
 
‘Skills Based caring for a Loved One with an Eating
Disorder’ The new Maudsley method.
 
Boundaries
Coaching skills
Mistakes are a treasure
Accommodating & enabling
 
The ED voice
Stages of change & transitions
Collaborative goal-setting
 
Self care strategies
 
Caring styles
Communication
 
NEXUS
 
G
ain a stronger insight into their loved ones eating disorder.
Understand their role within the 
loved one's
 journey to recovery.
P
rovide a safe space to talk openly about their situation, share their emotions and look for
supportive strategies.
Gain s
trategies to help them support their loved one, and take care of themselves, whilst
living with an eating disorder.
 
SKILLS FOR CARERS
 
A
 series of animal metaphors
E
xplains how automatic reactions can be
unhelpful.
M
ay be the carer's default way of coping with
stress or part of an individual's natural
temperament.
 
 
OARS
An important communication skill.
Reflective and mindful conversations.
Can be used to gain more information to
understand any ambivalence in change.
Carers can then continue to help nudge their
loved ones in the direction of considering
change.
 
 
 
Motivational Interviewing …
 
Animal analogies …
 
OARS
 
O
pen questions 
Skilful questioning style.
Ask open questions.
Not short-answer, yes/no, or rhetorical questions.
 
 
A
ffirmations: 
To build confidence, motivation 
& 
ability to change
.
Affirm the person. Comment positively on effort & intention.
Statements & gestures that recognise EDI’s strengths.
Acknowledge behaviours that lead in the direction of positive change,  no matter how big or small.
Must be genuine and 
congruent.
 
 
 
OARS
 
R
eflections 
N
on- judgemental listening style developing empathy.
Reflect on what the person is saying: ‘active listening’.
Important to clarify what you heard is what was being said.
Interest in what the person has to say and respect for the person’s point of view.
Repeating or rephrasing: Making a
 restatement in which the speaker’s meaning is inferred.
Reflection of feeling: Emphasising
 emotional aspects of communication through
feeling statements. This is the deepest form of listening
.
 
 
 
S
ummary
 
D
emonstrating your understanding and next steps.
Collecting what the person has been saying and offering it back in a basket.
 
S
Helps to ensure clear 
 communication between the speaker and listener.
If possible, schedule the next conversation so that the Edi feels that you are really interested.
 
 
 
ANIMAL
ANALOGIES
 
Kangaroo
Expressed Emotion: 
Overprotection
Puts Edi in pouch, protect until better
warm
safe
protecting
loving
 
 
But...
Infantilising
Suffocates growth
Prevents independence & mastery of challenges for self-confidence
Gives message world is dangerous
 
 
Sufferer:
 
I just get so frustrated with you all ...always nagging on
about eat this, eat that... I want to tell you once and for all,
there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with me so can both
just get off my back!
 
Carer:
Ok we are sorry, why don’t I go to the
supermarket, and I will cook you that
meal you like.
 
R
hino
Expressed Emotion: 
Over directedness
Shout, try to control and ‘win’ ED arguments.
Strong
Loving
Wants to make them ‘see sense’
 
 
But...
Edi feels upset
Can’t turn to carer for support
Arguing gives ED thoughts credence
Chance to argue for ED counter argument – ‘I won’t give in’
 
Carer:
We get frustrated with you, and we
wouldn’t have to nag if you just ate
what we gave you but you can’t so
there is something wrong with you!
 
Sufferer:
I just get so frustrated with you all ...always nagging on
about eat this, eat that... I want to tell you once and for
all, there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with me so can
both just get off my back!
 
Jellyfish
Expressed Emotion: 
Transparent Emotional Response
Overtly distressed, depressed, anxious, irritable & angry
Weepy, tearful
Shows compassion, love
 
 
But...
Edi upset at hurting loved ones
Reduces self-esteem
Avoids telling truth for fear of hurting others
Creates a feeling of hopelessness
 
Carer:
Well, you are making me so upset, I
am just trying to get you better, but
you are making me ill. I need you to
see what you are doing
 
Sufferer:
I just get so frustrated with you all ...always nagging on
about eat this, eat that... I want to tell you once and for
all, there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with me so can
both just get off my back!
 
Ostrich
Expressed Emotion: 
Avoidance
Avoiding seeing, thinking & dealing with problem.
Head in the sand – ‘the hospital will sort it out’
Avoids getting over involved/emotional
ED talk doesn’t dominate
Avoids arguments
 
 
But...
Edi  feels problems un-noticed 
 unloved
Can't turn to carer for support
Carer role-modelling emotional avoidance
 
Carer:
Ok if you say there is nothing wrong
then I believe you. We will back off;
we’re hoping this is just a phase you
are going through.
 
 
Sufferer:
I just get so frustrated with you all ...always nagging on
about eat this, eat that... I want to tell you once and for
all, there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with me so can
both just get off my back!
 
Dolphin
Imagine Edi is at sea and the eating disorder identity is their
life vest. They are unwilling to give up the safety of this life
vest while treading water in the sea of their eating disorder.
 You are the dolphin, nudging them to safety,
Just enough balance and direction
An optimal way of helping someone with an eating disorder is
to gently nudge them along.
 
Swimming alongside with encouragement
 
Swimming ahead, leading the way
 
Quietly swimming behind
 
 
Carer:
I can imagine you’re feeling pretty
angry, especially if you believe so
strongly that there's nothing at all
wrong with your eating and that
we're always on your back
 
Sufferer:
I just get so frustrated with you all ...always nagging on
about eat this, eat that... I want to tell you once and for
all, there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with me so can
both just get off my back!
 
OUTCOMES
 
100% of carers reported improvements in their understanding of factors and skills that can aid their loved ones recovery
 
92% of carers felt less impacted by their loved ones ED at the end of Nexus
 
 
‘The programme has helped me to recognise when I am enabling my son and how I need to adjust my approach’.
 
‘Nexus has improved my communication skills due to improved understanding, and better reactions from me when my
loved one is in distress
’.
 
‘Nexus has helped me to 
feel calmer, listen more, and affirm small successes. I am more aware of my parenting style,
and I am changing the way I communicate and broach difficult subjects’.
 
HOW TO REFER
 
Clinical referral
Self-referral
 
PATHWAY
 
5 working days
Sign-up form
Telephone assessment
Onboarding
12 weekly sessions
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This workshop focuses on providing coaching support for carers facing various challenging situations in caring for loved ones with eating disorders. It covers carer goals, Nexus early intervention programs, gaining insight, understanding roles, communication skills like motivational interviewing, and using OARS techniques. The program aims to empower carers with strategies to support their loved ones and take care of themselves during the recovery journey.

  • Carers
  • Coaching Support
  • Eating Disorders
  • Communication Skills
  • Nexus

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  1. EXPLORING SKILLS FOR CARERS Alice Matthews & Suzanne McCulloch 19thMarch 2024

  2. WITHIN THIS WORKSHOP Learn about our carer coaching programmeNexus Nexus Explore skills for carers

  3. COACHING SUPPORT Carers that refer into our Nexus Programme face differing and challenging situations. The nature of the relationship with their loved one, family dynamics, caring responsibilities, comorbidities, and the Eating disorder vary

  4. CARER GOALS

  5. NEXUS Early intervention Anorexia Nervosa 1-1 Coaching support for adult carers of a loved one (13+) Binge Eating Disorder with disordered eating. Bulimia Nervosa OSFED A 12-week programme. Neuro divergence 12 weekly 40-minute telephone calls. Comorbidities Skills Based caring for a Loved One with an Eating Disorder The new Maudsley method.

  6. NEXUS Gain a stronger insight into their loved ones eating disorder. Understand their role within the loved one's journey to recovery. Provide a safe space to talk openly about their situation, share their emotions and look for supportive strategies. Gain strategies to help them support their loved one, and take care of themselves, whilst living with an eating disorder. The ED voice Boundaries Stages of change & transitions Coaching skills Collaborative goal-setting Mistakes are a treasure Caring styles Accommodating & enabling Communication Self care strategies

  7. SKILLS FOR CARERS Motivational Interviewing Animal analogies OARS A series of animal metaphors An important communication skill. Explains how automatic reactions can be Reflective and mindful conversations. unhelpful. Can be used to gain more information to May be the carer's default way of coping with understand any ambivalence in change. stress or part of an individual's natural Carers can then continue to help nudge their temperament. loved ones in the direction of considering change.

  8. OARS O Open questions pen questions Skilful questioning style. Ask open questions. Not short-answer, yes/no, or rhetorical questions. A Affirmations: ffirmations: To build confidence, motivation & ability to change. Affirm the person. Comment positively on effort & intention. Statements & gestures that recognise EDI s strengths. Acknowledge behaviours that lead in the direction of positive change, no matter how big or small. Must be genuine and congruent.

  9. OARS R Reflections eflections Non-judgemental listening style developing empathy. Reflect on what the person is saying: active listening . Important to clarify what you heard is what was being said. Interest in what the person has to say and respect for the person s point of view. Repeating or rephrasing: Making a restatement in which the speaker s meaning is inferred. Reflection of feeling: Emphasising emotional aspects of communication through feeling statements. This is the deepest form of listening. S Summary ummary Demonstrating your understanding and next steps. Collecting what the person has been saying and offering it back in a basket.S Helps to ensure clear communication between the speaker and listener. If possible, schedule the next conversation so that the Edi feels that you are really interested.

  10. ANIMAL ANALOGIES Sufferer: I just get so frustrated with you all ...always nagging on about eat this, eat that... I want to tell you once and for all, Kangaroo Kangaroo there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with me so can both just get off my back! Expressed Emotion: Overprotection Overprotection Puts Edi in pouch, protect until better Carer: warm Ok we are sorry, why don t I go to the safe supermarket, and I will cook you that protecting meal you like. loving But... But... Infantilising Suffocates growth Prevents independence & mastery of challenges for self-confidence Gives message world is dangerous

  11. Rhino Rhino Sufferer: Expressed Emotion: Over directedness Over directedness I just get so frustrated with you all ...always nagging on about eat this, eat that... I want to tell you once and for Shout, try to control and win ED arguments. all, there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with me so can both just get off my back! Strong Loving Wants to make them see sense Carer: We get frustrated with you, and we wouldn t have to nag if you just ate But... But... what we gave you but you can t so there is something wrong with you! Edi feels upset Can t turn to carer for support Arguing gives ED thoughts credence Chance to argue for ED counter argument I won t give in

  12. Jellyfish Jellyfish Sufferer: I just get so frustrated with you all ...always nagging on Expressed Emotion: Transparent Emotional Response Transparent Emotional Response about eat this, eat that... I want to tell you once and for Overtly distressed, depressed, anxious, irritable & angry all, there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with me so can Weepy, tearful both just get off my back! Shows compassion, love Carer: But... But... Well, you are making me so upset, I Edi upset at hurting loved ones am just trying to get you better, but you are making me ill. I need you to Reduces self-esteem see what you are doing Avoids telling truth for fear of hurting others Creates a feeling of hopelessness

  13. Ostrich Ostrich Sufferer: I just get so frustrated with you all ...always nagging on Expressed Emotion: Avoidance Avoidance about eat this, eat that... I want to tell you once and for Avoiding seeing, thinking & dealing with problem. all, there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with me so can both just get off my back! Head in the sand the hospital will sort it out Avoids getting over involved/emotional ED talk doesn t dominate Carer: Avoids arguments Ok if you say there is nothing wrong then I believe you. We will back off; we re hoping this is just a phase you But... But... are going through. Edi feels problems un-noticed unloved Can't turn to carer for support Carer role-modelling emotional avoidance

  14. Dolphin Dolphin Sufferer: I just get so frustrated with you all ...always nagging on Imagine Edi is at sea and the eating disorder identity is their about eat this, eat that... I want to tell you once and for life vest. They are unwilling to give up the safety of this life all, there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with me so can vest while treading water in the sea of their eating disorder. both just get off my back! You are the dolphin, nudging them to safety, Just enough balance and direction An optimal way of helping someone with an eating disorder is Carer: to gently nudge them along. I can imagine you re feeling pretty Swimming alongside with encouragement angry, especially if you believe so strongly that there's nothing at all Swimming ahead, leading the way wrong with your eating and that we're always on your back Quietly swimming behind

  15. OUTCOMES 100% of carers reported improvements in their understanding of factors and skills that can aid their loved ones recovery 92% of carers felt less impacted by their loved ones ED at the end of Nexus

  16. HOW TO REFER Clinical referral Self-referral PATHWAY 5 working days Sign-up form Telephone assessment Onboarding 12 weekly sessions

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