Guide for Hosting Ukrainian Guests: Supporting Through Transition
Welcome and support Ukrainian guests smoothly by giving them space, discussing practical matters, and being sensitive to their emotional needs. Help them find resources and coping strategies to navigate the challenges of war-induced trauma and stress.
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Guide for Hosts for Ukraine Dr Gill Martin. York City of Sanctuary
Welcome your guests but dont overwhelm them Allow them space to arrive. Take them for a wander around your neighbourhood. They probably won t remember very much about what you have said but you can remind them later A safe place Talk about everyday things, where the shops are, show them a park, a green space. Create a calm atmosphere.
Allow the guests to take the lead in speaking about what their worries are Try not to probe for information about their experiences. Don t give your opinions about the politics of the war. At least not until you know each other much better. Talking and Explaining Reassure them about privacy and don t repeat what they have told you to other people. Explain the way your household works, whether you usually eat together for example, or if they are cooking in your kitchen who cleans up what. If you have an animal/s explain the house rules about where they are allowed and what they are fed.
There will need to be time spent dealing with practical matters. Finance being an important element and Radio 4 Money Box (April 2022) highlighted the Halifax as the bank with the fewest problems when people tried to open an account. Those receiving benefits need to have an account to receive the money. The first few days/weeks Similarly schools and GP s take time to sort out. All those practicalities keep the Ukranian s anxieties at bay while they are busy. It is later that some of the deeper feelings begin to emerge.
Not everyone will suffer from trauma. Everyone will be shocked to some degree because the war began suddenly and the intensity of it was not expected. For some, connecting with others will be important so help the guests know where to find the languages classes, the drop-ins and the contact details for the third sector organisations with experience of refugees. The Citadel, Refugee Action York and City of Sanctuary. Emotional stress For a few people, time on their own will be important and large groups might be felt to be overwhelming. Try to be sensitive to what the guest might prefer. Encourage the guests to limit the amount of time they watch the television news. While they want to know what is happening in Ukraine, this can also create secondary trauma.
Everyone has different strategies to manage stress in their lives. Respond to how much the guest/s want connection with others or need to find a calming quiet place. Remember what your own coping strategies are in terms of closeness or solitude, so that your own patterns are taken into consideration. Coping strategies In your desire to help, don t ignore your own needs. Allow time to find a kind of balance in the new household. Respect the privacy of the guests but it is your home and you need to remember your need for privacy from time to time also.
Never use a child below sixteen as an interpreter. It is advisable to avoid using a Ukranian who has recently arrived in the country as an interpreter, because they may have had their own difficult experiences. They may seem confident but interpreters cannot anticipate what they have to translate. Interpreter guide
Distress is what we all experience but traumatic experiences are different. They overwhelm the brain s memory system and can be triggered unexpectedly. The person may express strong emotions and may find it difficult to control this reaction. Recognisingthe difference between distress and trauma There may be moments when the guests are struggling with strong emotional feelings or when the emotional temperature in the house feels raised. This may be an indicator that you need to find ways of calming the atmosphere. Checking with people about sleep patterns or intrusive thoughts might be constructive, if done carefully. Ask for advice if you need support.
There is much to be said for simply being available if someone wants to talk, rather than asking questions. Even if you think that speaking to doctor might help, the priority is to respect the person s privacy, and their right to their own decisions. Being there. Unless ..their difficulties are intruding on the atmosphere of your home, in which case you need professional intervention.
If someone is highly stressed, try to ground them with the following strategies. One useful exercise for someone who is highly stressed is to describe to you what they can see, what they can hear, what they can touch, what they can smell, and lastly what they can taste. Check how they are sleeping and talk about whether they need help with their sleep. Grounding Help them to calm by breathing into their belly when their hands are placed across the belly. Help them to identify a safe place in their mind and to focus on the image to remind themselves of a time they felt safe Encourage them to do something ordinary, going for a walk, or cooking, sitting in the garden.
You will be trying to keep a delicate balance between your household as a host and the Ukrainian as as guest. Make use of all the resources available to you Council staff, drop-ins. What is calming and helpful is very personal and if both you and your guest can talk through any problems at an early stage they are easier to resolve. Look after yourself Accept that there will be times when you cannot get it right, however well you get on together. What is happening in Ukraine is toxic and generates powerful emotions, especially for those who still have family members there. Look after yourselves so that you feel strong enough to understand and support your guests without being intrusive.
More information about sleep problems and trauma related distress can be found on the e-learning Modules on the web site of Solace, Surviving Exile and Persecution. Solace is a specialist therapeutic service for refugees and asylum seekers based in Leeds and has fifteen years of experience in this field. Solace Solace-uk.org.uk/training/relaxation-techniques
