The Art of Small Talk: Navigating Social Situations with Ease
Small talk serves numerous purposes, such as meeting new people, being friendly, and maintaining relationships by engaging in light conversations. It should not delve into personal, sensitive, or controversial topics. Suitable small talk subjects include recent films, local sports teams, or common interests. Avoid discussing salary, politics, religion, or private matters unless with close friends or family. Understanding the boundaries of small talk can help you navigate social interactions effectively.
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Small talk Also see Social Situations IPC
Why do we use small talk? What is the purpose of small talk? Why is it useful? What is our intention? In which kind of social situations do we use small talk?
Which small talk situations can you imagine finding yourself in? Describe a small talk situation? What could people say to one another?
Small talk is used to: Meet new people networking: Interesting presentation, wasn t it? Be friendly and make someone feel at ease making chitchat, talk about the weather or make other light observations about your immediate surroundings, situation or shared knowledge: Lovely day! Welcome someone: Have you come from far? Maintain good relationships with people: Are you doing anything for the holidays?
What is NOT small talk? What would you NOT talk about in small talk?
What small talk is not about: Discussing business Deep conversations Heavy, serious subjects Personal matters Private topics Sensitive issues Expressing one s strong opinion, beliefs or values
Here is a list of topics that probably are not very good for small talk. Of course, if you are meeting a close friend these topics may be excellent. Salary - how much do you make? - That's none of your business! Most people prefer to keep financial information to themselves. Politics wait until you get to know the person better Religion - tolerance is the key. Intimate relationships - only for you and your partner - or maybe your best friend Death - we need to face it, but not the first time we meet someone new Private matters - possibly sensitive: age, marital status, children, siblings, etc. Sales - don't try to sell something to someone you have just met. Just remember that 'small talk' is generally discussion with people you don't know very well.
Which subjects are suitable for small talk? For those topics which are appropriate, think of one interesting comment to make. For inappropriate topics, explain why you believe they are not appropriate for small talk. The latest films The One True Path to Eternal Life The local basketball team Cars A product you would like to sell to everyone The Death Penalty Your home town How much you make Your last holiday Your favourite movie-star The correct political party The weather Gardening Your health problems Your family
Common small talk subjects General: Weather - boring, but can get the ball rolling! Media - films, books, magazines, T.V. programmes, etc. Latest fashion and trends Celebrities - any gossip you may have! Sports - current matches or games, favourite teams, etc. Immediate surroundings About the person (so, more personal): Use ways of introducing yourself and asking questions that are not too personal: Home town - where they come from + open questions Job - once again, general questions not too specific Holidays - where, when, etc. but NOT how much! Hobbies Family - general questions, not questions about private matters
Some small talk situations 1)At a Social Event: This is a nice restaurant, huh? Are you having fun? How do you know the host? That dress you're wearing is beautiful, do you mind if I ask where you bought it? (should only be said by women to women, and not by a man to a woman as it could be interpreted as sleazy) 2) Standing in Line: It looks like we're going to be here for a while, doesn't it? I always choose the wrong line! You've got your hands full (if someone has a lot of kids with him/her or is carrying a lot of groceries). Was it this busy the last time you came here?
3) In the office: How's it going? Had a busy week? Looking forward to the weekend? What do you think of the new accounting/computer system? Working hard? 4) Anywhere: Small Talk about the Weather:Hot enough for you? Beautiful day, isn't it? It looks like it's going to rain. It couldn't possibly be a nicer day, could it?... Small Talk about the Media, Current Events (not politics):Have you seen the news today? Did you hear about what happened in China? What do you think about the economic crisis? Do you watch/play football? How about those Cubs? (sports-style topics)
Small talk about the person: a) Hometown:where do you come from? + what is it like living in ? how is it different/similar to this town? b)Job: what work do you do? c) Holidays:Do you like travelling? Where/when do you like to go on holiday? What do you like to do when you are on holiday? d) Hobbies:What do you like to do in your spare time? e) Family: So, do you have relatives/family in .? f) Introducing yourself, often not the opening line: My name s John, by the way.
SMALL TALK examples Weather Kind of chilly this morning, isn t it? It s been raining for weeks. Is this never going to end? What a beautiful morning. A bit windy, but beautiful. It s never this hot at this time of the year. Weekend How did you spend the weekend? Did you do anything special? How was your weekend?
Family A: How s Carol doing? I haven t seen her for ages. B: Oh, she s fine. Just got a job with Unilever. A: That s great news. We should get together one of these days. Annie would love to see you both, too. B: Sure. That d be great. ... A: How are the kids? B: They re well thanks. Give my regards to your husband. Why don t you come over for dinner one of these days? Sports A: Did you see the game last night? B: No, I missed it. Was it a good game?
Films A: Have you seen the Corpse Bride? We went to see it last night. B: How was it? A: Mark thought it was hilarious, but I was a bit disappointed. B: Yes, probably not my kind of film either. You should see Love in Paris, you d love it! People A: Have you heard? Monica is getting married. B: Don t tell anyone, but apparently Jennifer is going to be promoted. (Gossip, not appropriate for work)
Practice: Small Talk Which of the following topics would you discuss with a) a friend or a colleague, b) an important business partner (formal) Family International politics Salary or wages Travel Weather Food & drink Religion Health Global warming, pollution, environmental topics Sports Your hobbies Computers and new technology Corruption
Read the lines in italics and then choose the most suitable response. a I ve just bought a new car Fiat Seicento. (i) Really? I ve heard it is a very bad car. (ii) Really? Why did you do that? (iii) Really? Are you pleased with it? b My daughter Andrea has gone to Princeton University. (i) Really? What is she studying? (ii) I don t believe you! (iii) Oh, that must be very expensive!
c Im afraid I have a bad cold. (i) Keep away from me! I don t want to catch it. (ii) I knew someone who died from a bad cold. (iii) That s very bad luck. But thank you for coming to the meeting. d Our national team will be in the World Cup if we beat Germany. (i) Germany has a good team. You re not going to win. (ii) Germany has a good team. I m sure it will be a great game. (iii) Anyone can beat Germany. They have a terrible team.
Listening activity Listen to people making small talk: http://www.eslfast.com/robot/topics/smalltalk/ smalltalk.htm Pay attention to the subjects and the language used, you may take notes to share and discuss afterwards.
Practice Game A Pick ten words and try to direct the conversation so that your interlocutor uses as many of the words as possible within 5 minutes.
Game B (see next 2 slides) Play this game quickly in small groups. Move forward from one subject to the next. When you get to the end, return to the beginning to start again. You have thirty seconds to begin making a comment about the suggested subject. If you can not, you lose your turn!
30 seconds to start on Your best friend The last film you saw Pets Rock and roll A magazine Learning a language Playing tennis Your recent job An interesting excursion nearby The Internet And more Keeping healthy Where you do your shopping Your favorite food Finding a job in your country The last book you read Your worst holiday Something you ve never done but would like to do Marilyn Monroe
More subjects Cars Your favorite actor What you like Sport A great movie What you don t like Playing an instrument Travelling Your best holiday Mobile phones And more Your hobby Art What you have for breakfast The weather Your journey to work Your neighborhood Something you look forward to The Beatles
