Parental Relationship Questionnaire: User Guide
Parental Relationship Questionnaire:
User Guide
Why does the relationship between parents matter?
•
In a recent survey
70% of children said that parents getting on well is
one of the most important factors in their happiness.
Source: Children’s Society
•
Evidence from the Early Intervention Foundation highlights the
importance of the relationship between parents as the “primary
influence” on children’s future life chances and long term outcomes.
•
Conflict between parents is a normal part of relationships. It
becomes harmful when is
frequent
,
intense
and
poorly
resolved.
•
Parental conflict can harm children’s outcomes regardless of whether
parents are together, separated, or biologically related to the child such
(i.e. blended or foster families).
Harmful Parental Conflict
BHCC define Harmful Parental Conflict as:
“Relationship distress and/or destructive behaviours between
parental figures; involving aggression, non-verbal conflict or the
‘silent treatment’, lack of respect and emotional control and lack
of resolution.¹ Power is balanced and there is no consistent
pattern of victim and abuser.”
1 =DWP definition in ‘Reducing Parental Conflict Face to Face Provision Provider Guidance’ (March 2019)
The wide ranging impacts on children include:
-
Their emotional and mental health
-
Their engagement in education
-
Their behaviour (in and out of school)
Parental Conflict and Domestic Abuse
Domestic Abuse/Violence is different and more likely to include:
•
An imbalance of power
•
Fear of the other person
•
Patterns of abusive behaviour
•
“Domestic abuse and harmful conflict are two distinct behaviours
and should not be conflated or referenced interchangeably.”
²
•
“Each requires different assessment/ intervention techniques.”
³
When working with parents:
If you are unsure, or descriptions contain elements of both, approach the
situation as if it is domestic abuse.
2 =
‘Transforming the Response to Domestic Abuse Consultation Response and Draft Bill,’ January 2019
3 = ‘
Distinguishing domestic abuse and harmful conflict – A screening tool’ – CAFCASS
•
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Parental Relationship Questionnaire:
User Guide
-
How to use the Parental Relationships Question Set:
-
As part of the Reducing Parental Conflict Programme of work this
Parental Relationship Question Set will be road-tested by professionals
and parents from January to March 2020.
-
The questions and scoring system will be amended based on this
feedback. The colour coded outcomes are only to be taken as advisory
and their accuracy cannot be relied upon during this trial stage.
-
Once parents have completed the Question Set, input their scores onto
the scoring tool and email a copy to Stephen Woodward, who is
tracking all scores in order to improve overall accuracy.
Stephen.woodward@brighton-hove.gov.uk
-
Please ensure parents answer every question in the form, otherwise
their score will be invalid.
Parental conflict
mentioned
Concerns re
DVA?
Concerns
re DVA?
Fill out screening
tool with parent
Concerns
re DVA?
Fill out screening
tool with other
parent
Explore support
options based on
RAG rating
Seek advice
and follow
your DVA
guidelines
Guidance for home visiting professionals:
DVA = Domestic Violence/Abuse
1.
2.
3.
4.
Scores indicate
Low Levels
of
conflict
(not likely to be
harmful to children
)
Scores indicate
Medium
Levels
of conflict
(potentially
harmful to children
)
Scores i
ndicate
High Levels
of
conflict
(harmful to children)
Map of currently available services:
Couples
Love Languages Questionnaire
Partner Support
Community/Faith based couples support
Relate 1:1 Counselling
Parents as Partner
See It Differently videos
Support Services: Couples
Love Languages:
Link to website
•
Self-assessment questions designed to help couples better understand
what each other need from the relationship
•
£FREE
Please note: BHCC does not endorse or quality control external courses
2. The Marriage Course:
Link to website
•
7-week course for couples
•
Different themes and topics are introduced for couples to discuss
together, not as part of a wider group
•
£95 (bursary available)
Community/Faith based Relationship support services:
1.
Marriage Care:
Link to website
•
Provides relationship counselling for couples
•
£FREE (donations accepted)
Support Services: Couples
Parents as Partners:
•
16 week course for couples seeking to improve their communication
and reduce conflict in their relationship
•
£FREE
•
January course is an initial trial, not currently part of BHCC core offer
Please note: BHCC does not endorse or quality control external courses
Partner Support:
(Parenting Team)
•
3 sessions with a Parenting Practitioner to address relationship
issues that affect the ability to co-parent effectively
•
£FREE
•
Link to website
Relate Relationship Counselling:
•
Flexible counselling sessions on a range of relationship issues
•
£20-60
•
Link to website
Support Services: Couples
See it Differently – Online video series:
www.seeitdifferently.org
•
Watch “
Maddie’s Family,” “Jag’s Family” and “Mahmoud’s Family.”
•
£FREE 45min web chat with a relationship expert
Scores indicate
Low Levels
of
conflict
(not likely to be
harmful to children
)
Scores indicate
Medium
Levels
of conflict
(potentially
harmful to children
)
Scores i
ndicate
High Levels
of
conflict
(harmful to children)
Triple P - Family
Transitions
Map of currently available services:
Separated Parents
Getting it Right for Children
Supporting Parents Information Programme
East Sussex Family Mediation
Parenting After Parting
See It Differently videos
Support Services: Separated Parents
Triple P – Family Transitions (BHCC Parenting Team):
•
Both parents attend separate courses looking at managing strong emotions
associated with separating as well as effective communications strategies
•
Available as a 5 week course or 12 weeks (incorporating parenting strategies)
•
Access via referral from a professional or Parenting Team Intro session
•
£FREE
•
Link to website
(Parenting Team)
Getting it Right for Children (Online course
):
•
Video-based course to help parents identify how to reduce conflict
•
£FREE
•
Link to website
(Click Relationships)
Please note: BHCC does not endorse or quality control external courses
See it Differently – Online video series:
www.seeitdifferently.org
•
Watch “Chloe’s Family”
•
£FREE 45min web chat with a relationship expert
Support Services: Separated Parents
Parenting After Parting:
•
3 session for separating couples – How to tell children, managing emotions
•
£95pp group / £350 non-group
•
Link to website
Separated Parents Information Programme (CAFCASS):
•
Helps parents understand what their children need during the separation
process
•
£110 (free if directed by courts)
•
Link to website
East Sussex Mediation:
•
Mediation focussing on getting agreements in place usually around childcare
•
£FREE (eligibility criteria)
•
Link to website
Please note: BHCC does not endorse or quality control external courses
Support Services: Children & Young People
Voices in the Middle:
•
Website for young people whose parents are splitting up
•
Advice sections for parents
•
Moderated forums/advice boards for young people to share
•
Link to website
ChildLine:
•
Child specific listening support
on 0800 1111
•
Offer 1-2-1 online chat / advice pages
•
Has a specific Home & Families section
•
Link to website
Samaritans:
•
A national helpline providing confidential listening support on 166 123
•
Also offers website/email exchanges
•
Link to website
Please note: BHCC does not endorse or quality control external courses
The relationship between parents plays a crucial role in children's happiness and future outcomes. Harmful parental conflict, distinguishable from domestic abuse, can significantly impact children's emotional well-being, education, and behavior. Explore the significance of parental relationships, harmful conflicts, and the need for effective interventions.
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Presentation Transcript
Parental Relationship Questionnaire: User Guide Why does the relationship between parents matter? In a recent survey 70% of children said that parents getting on well is one of the most important factors in their happiness. Source: Children s Society Evidence from the Early Intervention Foundation highlights the importance of the relationship between parents as the primary influence on children s future life chances and long term outcomes. Conflict between parents is a normal part of relationships. It becomes harmful when is frequent, intense and poorly resolved. Parental conflict can harm children s outcomes regardless of whether parents are together, separated, or biologically related to the child such (i.e. blended or foster families).
Harmful Parental Conflict BHCC define Harmful Parental Conflict as: Relationship distress and/or destructive behaviours between parental figures; involving aggression, non-verbal conflict or the silent treatment , lack of respect and emotional control and lack of resolution. Power is balanced and there is no consistent pattern of victim and abuser. The wide ranging impacts on children include: - Their emotional and mental health - Their engagement in education - Their behaviour (in and out of school) 1 = DWP definition in Reducing Parental Conflict Face to Face Provision Provider Guidance (March 2019)
Parental Conflict and Domestic Abuse Domestic abuse and harmful conflict are two distinct behaviours and should not be conflated or referenced interchangeably. Each requires different assessment/ intervention techniques. Domestic Abuse/Violence is different and more likely to include: An imbalance of power Fear of the other person Patterns of abusive behaviour When working with parents: If you are unsure, or descriptions contain elements of both, approach the situation as if it is domestic abuse. Definitions and guidance can never replace professional judgement. 2 = Transforming the Response to Domestic Abuse Consultation Response and Draft Bill, January 2019 3 = Distinguishing domestic abuse and harmful conflict A screening tool CAFCASS
Parental Relationship Questionnaire: User Guide - How to use the Parental Relationships Question Set: - As part of the Reducing Parental Conflict Programme of work this Parental Relationship Question Set will be road-tested by professionals and parents from January to March 2020. - The questions and scoring system will be amended based on this feedback. The colour coded outcomes are only to be taken as advisory and their accuracy cannot be relied upon during this trial stage. - Once parents have completed the Question Set, input their scores onto the scoring tool and email a copy to Stephen Woodward, who is tracking all scores in order to improve overall accuracy. Stephen.woodward@brighton-hove.gov.uk - Please ensure parents answer every question in the form, otherwise their score will be invalid.
Guidance for home visiting professionals: 1. Parental conflict mentioned Concerns re DVA? 2. Fill out screening tool with parent Concerns re DVA? Seek advice and follow your DVA guidelines 3. Fill out screening tool with other parent Concerns re DVA? 4. Explore support options based on RAG rating DVA = Domestic Violence/Abuse
Map of currently available services: Couples Scores indicate Medium Levels of conflict (potentially harmful to children) Scores indicate Low Levels of conflict (not likely to be harmful to children) Scores indicate High Levels of conflict (harmful to children) See It Differently videos Love Languages Questionnaire Community/Faith based couples support Partner Support Parents as Partner Relate 1:1 Counselling
Support Services: Couples Love Languages: Link to website Self-assessment questions designed to help couples better understand what each other need from the relationship FREE Community/Faith based Relationship support services: 1. Marriage Care: Link to website Provides relationship counselling for couples FREE (donations accepted) 2. The Marriage Course: Link to website 7-week course for couples Different themes and topics are introduced for couples to discuss together, not as part of a wider group 95 (bursary available) Please note: BHCC does not endorse or quality control external courses
Support Services: Couples Partner Support: (Parenting Team) 3 sessions with a Parenting Practitioner to address relationship issues that affect the ability to co-parent effectively FREE Link to website Parents as Partners: 16 week course for couples seeking to improve their communication and reduce conflict in their relationship FREE January course is an initial trial, not currently part of BHCC core offer Relate Relationship Counselling: Flexible counselling sessions on a range of relationship issues 20-60 Link to website Please note: BHCC does not endorse or quality control external courses
Support Services: Couples See it Differently Online video series: www.seeitdifferently.org Watch Maddie s Family, Jag s Family and Mahmoud s Family. FREE 45min web chat with a relationship expert
Map of currently available services: Separated Parents Scores indicate Low Levels of conflict (not likely to be harmful to children) Scores indicate Medium Levels of conflict (potentially harmful to children) Scores indicate High Levels of conflict (harmful to children) See It Differently videos Getting it Right for Children Parenting After Parting Triple P - Family Transitions Supporting Parents Information Programme East Sussex Family Mediation
Support Services: Separated Parents Getting it Right for Children (Online course): Video-based course to help parents identify how to reduce conflict FREE Link to website (Click Relationships) Triple P Family Transitions (BHCC Parenting Team): Both parents attend separate courses looking at managing strong emotions associated with separating as well as effective communications strategies Available as a 5 week course or 12 weeks (incorporating parenting strategies) Access via referral from a professional or Parenting Team Intro session FREE Link to website (Parenting Team) See it Differently Online video series: www.seeitdifferently.org Watch Chloe s Family FREE 45min web chat with a relationship expert Please note: BHCC does not endorse or quality control external courses
Support Services: Separated Parents Separated Parents Information Programme (CAFCASS): Helps parents understand what their children need during the separation process 110 (free if directed by courts) Link to website Parenting After Parting: 3 session for separating couples How to tell children, managing emotions 95pp group / 350 non-group Link to website East Sussex Mediation: Mediation focussing on getting agreements in place usually around childcare FREE (eligibility criteria) Link to website Please note: BHCC does not endorse or quality control external courses
Support Services: Children & Young People Voices in the Middle: Website for young people whose parents are splitting up Advice sections for parents Moderated forums/advice boards for young people to share Link to website Samaritans: A national helpline providing confidential listening support on 166 123 Also offers website/email exchanges Link to website ChildLine: Child specific listening support on 0800 1111 Offer 1-2-1 online chat / advice pages Has a specific Home & Families section Link to website Please note: BHCC does not endorse or quality control external courses
