Mastering the Jane Schaffer Writing Method
Writing a ONE-Chunk Paragraph
Jane Schaffer – Edited by Crystal Russell
“If I can think it, then I can say it. If I can say it, then
I can write it
!”
—J. Schaffer
The Hamburger – think BIG Mac with 2
all beef patties
•
Color Coding for Prewriting and Rough Drafts
Claim/Topic Sentence
Concrete Detail/Data/Evidence (data)
Commentary/Warrant/Explanation (CM)
Commentary/Warrant/Explanation(CM)
Concrete Detail/Data/Evidence (data)
Commentary/Warrant/Explanation (CM)
Commentary/Warrant/Explanation(CM)
Concluding Sentence/Clincher
•
A ONE-Chunk paragraph is SEVEN to EIGHT
sentences.
The “Chunk”
•
Claim
•
Data
•
Commentary: CM
•
Commentary : CM
•
Data
•
Commentary: CM
•
Commentary : CM
•
A “chunk” consists of
2 data sentence(s)
and
2 commentary sentences
for each
data
.
Claim
•
1
st
sentence
in body ¶
•
The
SUBJECT
of your ¶
•
Tells what whole ¶ is about
(the MAIN IDEA)
•
Your
OPINION
includes
COMMENTARY words
states
your claim –
what you are going
to prove
Example:
Claim
NOTE: When writing only one paragraph the
claim
must
include the title and the author
of
the story (TAG).
•
title & author
: In “Cinderella,” by Charles
Perrault,
•
main idea
: the stepmother is
cruel
.
•
In “Cinderella,” by Charles Perrault, the
stepmother is cruel.
Concrete Detail/DATA
•
Follows
claim
in a One-Chunk ¶
•
The
“STUFF
from the
STORY”
•
The
evidence/proof
that supports claim in the
TS
•
A
data
is so
SPECIFIC
that you can say on which page
it occurred.
•
Always
write down (cite) from which page
it came.
•
You
cannot disagree with a data.
It either happened
or it didn’t.
•
PARAPHRASE
what happens in the story (put in your
own words)
OR
use a direct
QUOTATION
•
Always write the
data
sentence in
T,L,DATA (#).
Format
(4 parts to the sentence)
T,L,DATA (author’s last name #).
Format
Concrete Detail (cont.)
•
T
= transition
(i.e.
For example,
In addition, Secondly, Lastly,).
Begins
your
data
sentence;
followed by a comma
For example,
•
L
= lead-in
phrase
(
begins
with
a word like
after, when, since,
although
).
Gives your reader
background details/information
from
the story; the lead-in phrase
“sets-up”
your evidence (data);
followed
by a comma
GIVES YOUR READER
CONTEXT
when the Prince sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits
the glass slipper,
•
DATA
= Concrete Detail
(the specific thing that happened in the story
that
supports/proves
your claim
in the
claim
)
THE QUOTE
“
the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let
her try it on”
•
Citation
=
(author’s last name #).
(must use
MLA format
);
the
number
of the page(s) on which the data occurs. The
NUMBER ONLY
inside parenthesis
FOLLOWED
by a
PERIOD
.
(Perrault 6).
Example:
DATA Sentence
in
T,L,data
Format
•
Transition
:
For example,
•
Lead-in
Phrase
:
when the Prince sends his men to find the
lady whose foot fits the glass slipper
,
•
DATA
:
“the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and
does not let her try it on”
•
Citation
:
(Perrault 6).
•
For example, when the Prince sends his men to find the
lady whose foot fits the glass slipper, “the stepmother locks
Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on”
(Perrault 6).
•
DO
NOT
write a FRAGMENT: For example,
when
“the
stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let
her try it on”(Perrault 6).
Commentary
•
The
“
STUFF
from
YOUR HEAD
”
•
CM
=
Analysis, Opinion, Insight, Interpretation
•
A person
can agree or disagree with it
and not be
wrong.
•
DIG DEEPER
for
INSIGHTFUL
commentary
•
Gives
original thought
about the quote.
•
Tells the reader
something they may not have
already
figured out
. (
Commentary
does
NOT
state the
obvious!)
•
MUST
include
CM WORDS
= words with
feeling
attached to them (
person
vs.
hero
,
quiet
vs.
lonely
)
Helpful Tips for Writing
Insightful Commentary
•
Begin
CM
sentences
in prewriting and rough
drafts
with the following phrases:
This shows
that
….
This also shows that
…
,
This is important
because
…,
This reveals that
….,
This implies
….
•
Remember: These phrases
MUST be REMOVED
from FINAL DRAFT! Use
STRONG verbs
! (i.e.
does
not like
vs.
resents
)
•
Avoid
“No-No” words – see orange sheet on wall
•
CM sentences
do NOT give advice
Common
CM
Mistakes
•
Commentary
is generic (i.e.
He is mean.
vs
.
He is
angry to be in this situation
.)
•
Commentary
strays from
Claim
/
DATA
– doesn’t
relate to
main idea
(apples in a cherry tree)
•
Commentary
is really
DATA
(i.e.
Chewy is 7 feet
tall.
)
•
CM
repeats (ie.
They are in danger
.
followed by
They are not safe.
vs.
Chewy protects Princess
Leia. He feels responsible for her.
)
•
CM
contradicts the
Claim (i.e. Claim
:
Chewy is
scary
. CM:
Leia never thought he would hurt her
.)
Example:
Commentary Sentences
•
CM (1): This shows that
she is
jealous
of Cinderella.
•
CM (2):This also shows that
the stepmother
resents
Cinderella.
FIRST DRAFT OF
CM sentences:
•
She is
jealous
of Cinderella. The stepmother
resents
Cinderella.
(Just ok– need to DIG DEEPER!)
SECOND DRAFT of
CM sentences:
•
She is
jealous
of
Cinderella’s beauty
. The stepmother
resents
Cinderella
and
does not care
about what is
important
to her.
(MORE INSIGHTFUL and includes
more
CM words
)
Concluding Sentence
•
Last sentence
in a body ¶
•
Sums up your
main idea,
but must NOT
repeat
key words
•
All
Commentary
(
MUST include CM
words
) from
YOUR HEAD
•
Gives a
finished feeling/closure
to ¶
Example:
Concluding Sentence
•
The stepmother is
determined
to keep
Cinderella from experiencing any
happiness
in
her life.
Example of a One-Chunk Paragraph
ROUGH DRAFT (#1) – COLOR CODED
Student’s Name
Mrs. W. Nugent
English I, Period 7
20 November 2015
The Resentful Stepmother
In “Cinderella,” by Charles Perrault, the stepmother is
cruel
.
For example, when the Prince
sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper, “the stepmother locks Cinderella in
her room and does not let her try it on” (Perrault 6).
This shows that she is jealous of Cinderella.
This is important because the stepmother resents Cinderella.
As a result, she is
determined
to keep
Cinderella from experiencing any
happiness
.
Example of a One-Chunk Paragraph
ROUGH DRAFT (#2) – COLOR-CODED
Student’s Name
Mrs. W. Nugent
English I, Period 7
20 November 2015
The
Heartless
Stepmother
In “Cinderella,” by Charles Perrault, the stepmother is
cruel
.
For example, when the Prince sends
his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper
found at the ball
, “the stepmother locks
Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on” (Perrault 6).
This shows that
She is
jealous
of
Cinderella’s beauty
.
This is important because
The stepmother
resents
Cinderella
and
does not care
about what is
important
to her.
The stepmother also pushes her daughters into mutilating themselves
in order for their feet to fit into the glass slipper.
This shows that
she
cares
more
for her own welfare
than
she does her own offspring.
This shows that
The stepmother is willing to do anything to earn a
position of power in the kingdom.
As a result
, the stepmother proves that she is a selfish woman who
does not care for Cinderella or anyone else but herself.
Student’s Name
Mrs. W. Nugent
English I, Period 7
20 November 2015
The Heartless Stepmother
In “Cinderella,” by Charles Perrault, the stepmother is cruel. For example, when the Prince sends
his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper found at the ball, “the stepmother locks Cinderella in
her room and does not let her try it on” (Perrault 6). She is jealous of Cinderella’s beauty. The stepmother
resents Cinderella; therefore, she is not concerned with what is important to her. She is determined to keep
Cinderella from experiencing any happiness in her life. The stepmother also pushes her daughters into mutilating
themselves in order for their feet to fit into the glass slipper. She cares more for her own welfare than
she does
her own offspring. She is willing to do anything to anyone to earn a position of power in the kingdom. The
stepmother proves that she is a selfish woman who loves no one but herself.
Revised–
BLACK
INK
Understand the principles of the Jane Schaffer writing method, including the structure of a ONE-Chunk paragraph, color coding for prewriting, the Chunk format, and the importance of crafting a clear claim supported by concrete details and commentary.
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Presentation Transcript
If I can think it, then I can say it. If I can say it, then I can write it! J. Schaffer Writing a ONE-Chunk Paragraph Jane Schaffer Edited by Crystal Russell
The Hamburger think BIG Mac with 2 all beef patties Color Coding for Prewriting and Rough Drafts Claim/Topic Sentence Concrete Detail/Data/Evidence (data) Commentary/Warrant/Explanation (CM) Commentary/Warrant/Explanation(CM) Concrete Detail/Data/Evidence (data) Commentary/Warrant/Explanation (CM) Commentary/Warrant/Explanation(CM) Concluding Sentence/Clincher A ONE-Chunk paragraph is SEVEN to EIGHT sentences.
The Chunk Claim Data Commentary: CM Commentary : CM Data Commentary: CM Commentary : CM A chunk consists of 2 data sentence(s) and 2 commentary sentences for each data.
Claim 1st sentence in body The SUBJECT of your Tells what whole is about (the MAIN IDEA) Your OPINION includes COMMENTARY words states your claim what you are going to prove
Example: Claim NOTE: When writing only one paragraph the claim must include the title and the author of the story (TAG). title & author: In Cinderella, by Charles Perrault, main idea: the stepmother is cruel. In Cinderella, by Charles Perrault, the stepmother is cruel.
Concrete Detail/DATA Follows claim in a One-Chunk The STUFF from the STORY The evidence/proof that supports claim in the TS A data is so SPECIFIC that you can say on which page it occurred. Always write down (cite) from which page it came. You cannot disagree with a data. It either happened or it didn t. PARAPHRASE what happens in the story (put in your own words) OR use a direct QUOTATION Always write the data sentence in T,L,DATA (#). Format (4 parts to the sentence)
T,L,DATA (authors last name #). Format Concrete Detail (cont.) T = transition (i.e. For example, In addition, Secondly, Lastly,). Begins your data sentence; followed by a comma For example, L = lead-in phrase (begins with a word like after, when, since, although). Gives your reader background details/information from the story; the lead-in phrase sets-up your evidence (data); followed by a comma GIVES YOUR READER CONTEXT when the Prince sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper, DATA = Concrete Detail (the specific thing that happened in the story that supports/proves your claim in the claim) THE QUOTE the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on Citation = (author s last name #). (must use MLA format); the number of the page(s) on which the data occurs. The NUMBER ONLY inside parenthesis FOLLOWED by a PERIOD. (Perrault 6).
Example: DATA Sentence in T,L,data Format Transition: For example, Lead-in Phrase: when the Prince sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper, DATA: the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on Citation: (Perrault 6). For example, when the Prince sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper, the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on (Perrault 6). DO NOT write a FRAGMENT: For example, when the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on (Perrault 6).
Commentary The STUFF from YOUR HEAD CM = Analysis, Opinion, Insight, Interpretation A person can agree or disagree with it and not be wrong. DIG DEEPER for INSIGHTFUL commentary Gives original thought about the quote. Tells the reader something they may not have already figured out. (Commentary does NOT state the obvious!) MUST include CM WORDS = words with feeling attached to them (person vs. hero, quiet vs. lonely)
Helpful Tips for Writing Insightful Commentary Begin CM sentences in prewriting and rough drafts with the following phrases: This shows that . This also shows that , This is important because , This reveals that ., This implies . Remember: These phrases MUST be REMOVED from FINAL DRAFT! Use STRONG verbs! (i.e. does not like vs. resents) Avoid No-No words see orange sheet on wall CM sentences do NOT give advice
Common CM Mistakes Commentary is generic (i.e. He is mean. vs. He is angry to be in this situation.) Commentary strays from Claim/DATA doesn t relate to main idea (apples in a cherry tree) Commentary is really DATA (i.e. Chewy is 7 feet tall.) CM repeats (ie. They are in danger. followed by They are not safe. vs. Chewy protects Princess Leia. He feels responsible for her.) CM contradicts the Claim (i.e. Claim: Chewy is scary. CM: Leia never thought he would hurt her.)
Example: Commentary Sentences CM (1): This shows that she is jealous of Cinderella. CM (2):This also shows that the stepmother resents Cinderella. FIRST DRAFT OF CM sentences: She is jealous of Cinderella. The stepmother resents Cinderella. (Just ok need to DIG DEEPER!) SECOND DRAFT of CM sentences: She is jealous of Cinderella s beauty. The stepmother resents Cinderella and does not care about what is important to her. (MORE INSIGHTFUL and includes more CM words)
Concluding Sentence Last sentence in a body Sums up your main idea, but must NOT repeat key words All Commentary (MUST include CM words) from YOUR HEAD Gives a finished feeling/closure to
Example: Concluding Sentence The stepmother is determined to keep Cinderella from experiencing any happiness in her life.
Example of a One-Chunk Paragraph ROUGH DRAFT (#1) COLOR CODED Student s Name Mrs. W. Nugent English I, Period 7 20 November 2015 The Resentful Stepmother In Cinderella, by Charles Perrault, the stepmother is cruel. For example, when the Prince sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper, the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on (Perrault 6). This shows that she is jealous of Cinderella. This is important because the stepmother resents Cinderella. As a result, she is determined to keep Cinderella from experiencing any happiness.
Example of a One-Chunk Paragraph ROUGH DRAFT (#2) COLOR-CODED Student s Name Mrs. W. Nugent English I, Period 7 20 November 2015 The HeartlessStepmother In Cinderella, by Charles Perrault, the stepmother is cruel. For example, when the Prince sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper found at the ball, the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on (Perrault 6). This shows that She is jealous of Cinderella s beauty. This is important because The stepmother resents Cinderella and does not care about what is important to her. The stepmother also pushes her daughters into mutilating themselves in order for their feet to fit into the glass slipper. This shows that she cares more for her own welfare thanshe does her own offspring. This shows that The stepmother is willing to do anything to earn a position of power in the kingdom. As a result, the stepmother proves that she is a selfish woman who does not care for Cinderella or anyone else but herself.
RevisedBLACK INK Student s Name Mrs. W. Nugent English I, Period 7 20 November 2015 The Heartless Stepmother In Cinderella, by Charles Perrault, the stepmother is cruel. For example, when the Prince sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper found at the ball, the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on (Perrault 6). She is jealous of Cinderella s beauty. The stepmother resents Cinderella; therefore, she is not concerned with what is important to her. She is determined to keep Cinderella from experiencing any happiness in her life. The stepmother also pushes her daughters into mutilating themselves in order for their feet to fit into the glass slipper. She cares more for her own welfare thanshe does her own offspring. She is willing to do anything to anyone to earn a position of power in the kingdom. The stepmother proves that she is a selfish woman who loves no one but herself.
