Mastering Levels of Formality in Writing: Key Stage 2 Training Insights
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Working at
greater depth
within the
expected standard
"It fascinates me how differently we all speak in different
circumstances. We have levels of formality, as in our
clothing.
There are very formal occasions, often requiring written
English: the job application or the letter to the editor - the
dark-suit, serious-tie language, with everything pressed
and the lint brushed off.
There is our less formal out-in-the-world language - a more
comfortable suit, but still respectable.”
“There is language for close friends in the evenings, on
weekends - blue-jeans-and-sweat-shirt language, when
it’s good to get the tie off.
There is family language, even more relaxed, full of
grammatical short cuts, family slang, echoes of old jokes
that have become intimate shorthand - the language of
pyjamas and uncombed hair.
Finally, there is the language with no clothes on; the talk
of couples - murmurs, sighs, grunts - language at its least
self-conscious, open, vulnerable, and primitive.”
Robert MacNeil,
Wordstruck: A Memoir
(Viking, 1989)
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The pupil can write for a
range of purposes and
audiences (including
writing a short story):
selecting vocabulary
and grammatical
structures that reflect
the level of formality
required mostly
correctly
G
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The pupil can write for a
range of purposes and
audiences:
managing shifts between
levels of formality through
selecting vocabulary
precisely and by
managing grammatical
structures
To meet the requirements for greater
depth, the shifts need to be within
single
pieces
of writing, in
more than one piece
of writing, and on
more than one occasion
within those pieces of writing.
T
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What type of vocabulary and
grammatical structures are indicators
of formality?
What type of vocabulary and
grammatical structures are indicators
of informality?
W
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F
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‘Several pieces demonstrate the ability to
manage shifts in levels of formality by
manipulating grammatical structures and by
selecting vocabulary precisely. For example, in
Pointe Shoes,
the shifting levels of formality
convey the writer’s thoughts and feelings about
the subject matter (dance), whereas in
The
Cornwall News,
the shifts in formality are used to
convey the interweaving of fact and opinion.’
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I
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)
Have you ever wondered…Keep on
reading to find out…the Nutcracker
you saw…
But as soon as you get into the ballet
world…This exact thing happened…
Pointe work is awesome…you are
now a pointe shoe fan!
(
M
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f
o
r
m
a
l
)
They were invented to…They are
traditionally worn by…There is an all
male ballet company
Every dancer has unique feet with
varying length, shape, arch,
flexibility…consequently, most pointe
shoe companies make…Sometimes
they are custom tailored…
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“We were joking around with her just hours
earlier and now she’s dead!” said one of her
brothers, Felix. Another one of her brothers
recalled that she had been making a cowrie
shell necklace since the start of their holiday two
weeks before. They explained that she needed
only a few more inches to reach the toaster –
but tragically those inches cost her her life!
D
i
a
r
y
“Hello!” I called, “It’s me – Cherry! I’m home. I’ve
survived.” Why was everyone ignoring me? And then it
dawned on me. The miners, the water, the no
answering. I leant against the wall and slowly slid down
in a crumpled, sobbing heap. I was dead. Nobody
survives a drowning in an Atlantic storm. I am very
stupid and very, very dead. Then I cried. I cried until
there were no more tears. I bit down on my lip until I
tasted blood. Blood? The reality of it all came flooding
into my mind.
T
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Your pack contains 7 pieces of writing taken from different collections
that were moderated as ‘working at
greater depth
within the expected
standard’.
1.
A formal letter
(Palm Oil
)
2.
A newspaper report (
Pig Palaver)
3.
An extended narrative with inserts (
Billy’s Story
)
4.
A short first person narrative (
The Pie
)
5.
An information leaflet (
London Trip
)
6.
A narrative (
The Creation of the Chelegonaffe
)
7.
A promotional leaflet (
Beecher Woods
)
Y
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m
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i
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n
f
o
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e
a
c
h
p
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c
e
.
Your task is to decide which of the 7 pieces provide
evidence for the statement
managing shifts between
levels of formality through selecting vocabulary
precisely and by managing grammatical structures –
and which pieces do not
.
Your table leader will facilitate this activity.
It will
not
always be appropriate for a writer to shift the
level of formality within a piece of writing. Writing can be
equally effective when
vocabulary and grammatical
structures are
sustained and adapted
to reflect the level
of formality appropriate to purpose and audience.
However, to be awarded ‘greater depth’, there must be
evidence that pupils can
manage such shifts
.
Moderators need to recognise tasks that are likely to
elicit evidence for this statement.
D
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Some common misconceptions
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At the expected standard, pupils do not need to
evidence the use of semi-colons and colons to
mark the boundary between independent clauses
(although they may do so). It is acceptable for
pupils to use a colon to introduce a list and to use
semi-colons within lists.
U
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d
a
s
h
e
s
Dashes can be used to mark the boundary
between independent clauses or to mark
parenthesis. A pair of dashes or a single dash
can be used to mark a parenthetical
afterthought. Any of these uses can provide
evidence for dashes at the expected standard.
P
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Commas, dashes and brackets can all indicate
parenthesis. However, it is not necessary for
pupils to demonstrate all 3 forms of punctuation
to indicate parenthesis across a collection of
writing.
B
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Bullet points may be referred to as punctuation marks or
typographical symbols: they are typically used to
introduce items in a vertical list. The NC refers to the
consistent punctuation of
bullet points; therefore, if they
are used, the way they are punctuated must be
consistent. For example, each item starting with a lower
case or upper case letter, but not mixed; each item
ending with a full stop or no punctuation, but not mixed
etc. However, bullet points do not need to be evidenced
for a pupil to be judged as working at any of the 3
standards.
E
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l
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s
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Pupils do not need to demonstrate the use of
ellipsis dots as part of the full range of
punctuation taught at key stage 2 (although
they may choose to do so). In the NC, ellipsis is
referenced as a cohesive device, even though it
is grouped under ‘terminology’ alongside other
punctuation marks.
S
u
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c
e
s
s
c
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t
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r
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a
(
1
)
Success criteria provide pupils with a means of
successfully demonstrating their learning. They
can also support teachers’ judgements as to
whether a pupil has achieved specific learning
intentions in a piece of writing. Pupils can use
success criteria to assess their own work,
address their own concerns, and identify areas
for improvement.
S
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s
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r
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t
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r
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a
(
2
)
If success criteria are over-detailed, they can impact on
the independent nature of the writing, for example:
I have started a sentence with
If
,
When
or
Because
.
I have inserted a comma after a fronted adverbial.
I have written a sentence in the passive voice to create
suspense, eg
They were trapped!
Success criteria should encourage pupils to focus on the
criteria against which the work will be assessed, without
modelling or over-scaffolding the expected outcome.
L
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Working at the
expected standard
T
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Your pack contains 5 pieces of writing from one pupil’s collection,
which was moderated as ‘working at the
expected standard
’. These
pieces are representative of a broader range of writing seen during
the moderation visit.
A)
an information leaflet
B)
a letter
C)
a short story
D)
a recount
E)
a newspaper report.
You also have some brief contextual information for each piece.
Your task
is to expand the partially populated supporting
commentary, using evidence from the pupil’s writing to show
how it meets each of the interim TA framework statements for
the expected standard.
You should aim to
provide further bullet points for each statement
comment on all five pieces of writing across the
commentary as a whole
highlight or note examples as appropriate
No further commentary is required for spelling and handwriting.
I
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Read the exemplified commentary.
Consider how your comments and examples
correspond to those within the exemplified
commentary.
Are there any aspects of the commentary that require
further clarification?
Explore the nuances of formality in language use across different contexts, as detailed in the Key Stage 2 Writing National Moderator Training in January/February 2017. Learn how to manage shifts between formal and informal language through precise vocabulary selection and grammatical manipulation. Delve into the art of working at greater depth within the expected standard, where writing for various purposes and audiences demands a keen understanding of formality markers. Discover the importance of maintaining consistency in formal shifts within single and multiple pieces of writing to achieve academic excellence.
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Presentation Transcript
Key stage 2 writing National moderator training January/February 2017
Managing shifts between levels of formality through selecting vocabulary precisely and by manipulating grammatical structures Working at greater depth within the expected standard
"It fascinates me how differently we all speak in different circumstances. We have levels of formality, as in our clothing. There are very formal occasions, often requiring written English: the job application or the letter to the editor - the dark-suit, serious-tie language, with everything pressed and the lint brushed off. There is our less formal out-in-the-world language - a more comfortable suit, but still respectable.
There is language for close friends in the evenings, on weekends - blue-jeans-and-sweat-shirt language, when it s good to get the tie off. There is family language, even more relaxed, full of grammatical short cuts, family slang, echoes of old jokes that have become intimate shorthand - the language of pyjamas and uncombed hair. Finally, there is the language with no clothes on; the talk of couples - murmurs, sighs, grunts - language at its least self-conscious, open, vulnerable, and primitive. Robert MacNeil, Wordstruck: A Memoir (Viking, 1989)
Expected standard Greater depth The pupil can write for a range of purposes and audiences (including writing a short story): The pupil can write for a range of purposes and audiences: managing shifts between levels of formality through selecting vocabulary precisely and by managing grammatical structures selecting vocabulary and grammatical structures that reflect the level of formality required mostly correctly
To meet the requirements for greater depth, the shifts need to be within single pieces of writing, in more than one piece of writing, and on more than one occasion within those pieces of writing.
Table discussion What type of vocabulary and grammatical structures are indicators of formality? What type of vocabulary and grammatical structures are indicators of informality?
What Frankie did Several pieces demonstrate the ability to manage shifts in levels of formality by manipulating grammatical structures and by selecting vocabulary precisely. For example, in Pointe Shoes, the shifting levels of formality convey the writer s thoughts and feelings about the subject matter (dance), whereas in The Cornwall News, the shifts in formality are used to convey the interweaving of fact and opinion.
Explanatory writing on Pointe Shoes (Informal) (More formal) Have you ever wondered Keep on reading to find out the Nutcracker you saw They were invented to They are traditionally worn by There is an all male ballet company But as soon as you get into the ballet world This exact thing happened Every dancer has unique feet with varying length, shape, arch, flexibility consequently, most pointe shoe companies make Sometimes they are custom tailored Pointe work is awesome you are now a pointe shoe fan!
Newspaper report We were joking around with her just hours earlier and now she s dead! said one of her brothers, Felix. Another one of her brothers recalled that she had been making a cowrie shell necklace since the start of their holiday two weeks before. They explained that she needed only a few more inches to reach the toaster but tragically those inches cost her her life!
Diary Hello! I called, It s me Cherry! I m home. I ve survived. Why was everyone ignoring me? And then it dawned on me. The miners, the water, the no answering. I leant against the wall and slowly slid down in a crumpled, sobbing heap. I was dead. Nobody survives a drowning in an Atlantic storm. I am very stupid and very, very dead. Then I cried. I cried until there were no more tears. I bit down on my lip until I tasted blood. Blood? The reality of it all came flooding into my mind.
Table activity Your pack contains 7 pieces of writing taken from different collections that were moderated as working at greater depth within the expected standard . 1. A formal letter (Palm Oil) 2. A newspaper report (Pig Palaver) 3. An extended narrative with inserts (Billy s Story) 4. A short first person narrative (The Pie) 5. An information leaflet (London Trip) 6. A narrative (The Creation of the Chelegonaffe) 7. A promotional leaflet (Beecher Woods) You also have some brief contextual information for each piece.
Your task is to decide which of the 7 pieces provide evidence for the statement managing shifts between levels of formality through selecting vocabulary precisely and by managing grammatical structures and which pieces do not. Your table leader will facilitate this activity.
It will not always be appropriate for a writer to shift the level of formality within a piece of writing. Writing can be equally effective when vocabulary and grammatical structures are sustained and adapted to reflect the level of formality appropriate to purpose and audience. However, to be awarded greater depth , there must be evidence that pupils can manage such shifts. Moderators need to recognise tasks that are likely to elicit evidence for this statement.
Dispelling the myths Some common misconceptions
Use of semi-colons and colons At the expected standard, pupils do not need to evidence the use of semi-colons and colons to mark the boundary between independent clauses (although they may do so). It is acceptable for pupils to use a colon to introduce a list and to use semi-colons within lists.
Use of dashes Dashes can be used to mark the boundary between independent clauses or to mark parenthesis. A pair of dashes or a single dash can be used to mark a parenthetical afterthought. Any of these uses can provide evidence for dashes at the expected standard.
Punctuation for parenthesis Commas, dashes and brackets can all indicate parenthesis. However, it is not necessary for pupils to demonstrate all 3 forms of punctuation to indicate parenthesis across a collection of writing.
Bullet points Bullet points may be referred to as punctuation marks or typographical symbols: they are typically used to introduce items in a vertical list. The NC refers to the consistent punctuation of bullet points; therefore, if they are used, the way they are punctuated must be consistent. For example, each item starting with a lower case or upper case letter, but not mixed; each item ending with a full stop or no punctuation, but not mixed etc. However, bullet points do not need to be evidenced for a pupil to be judged as working at any of the 3 standards.
Ellipsis Pupils do not need to demonstrate the use of ellipsis dots as part of the full range of punctuation taught at key stage 2 (although they may choose to do so). In the NC, ellipsis is referenced as a cohesive device, even though it is grouped under terminology alongside other punctuation marks.
Success criteria (1) Success criteria provide pupils with a means of successfully demonstrating their learning. They can also support teachers judgements as to whether a pupil has achieved specific learning intentions in a piece of writing. Pupils can use success criteria to assess their own work, address their own concerns, and identify areas for improvement.
Success criteria (2) If success criteria are over-detailed, they can impact on the independent nature of the writing, for example: I have started a sentence with If, When or Because. I have inserted a comma after a fronted adverbial. I have written a sentence in the passive voice to create suspense, eg They were trapped! Success criteria should encourage pupils to focus on the criteria against which the work will be assessed, without modelling or over-scaffolding the expected outcome.
Identifying the evidence Working at the expected standard
Table activity Your pack contains 5 pieces of writing from one pupil s collection, which was moderated as working at the expected standard . These pieces are representative of a broader range of writing seen during the moderation visit. A) an information leaflet B) a letter C) a short story D) a recount E) a newspaper report. You also have some brief contextual information for each piece.
Your task is to expand the partially populated supporting commentary, using evidence from the pupil s writing to show how it meets each of the interim TA framework statements for the expected standard. You should aim to provide further bullet points for each statement comment on all five pieces of writing across the commentary as a whole highlight or note examples as appropriate No further commentary is required for spelling and handwriting.
Identifying the evidence Read the exemplified commentary. Consider how your comments and examples correspond to those within the exemplified commentary. Are there any aspects of the commentary that require further clarification?
