Marriage by Our Design
Marriage by Our Design
Worldstory Bible Study
St. Matthew Lutheran Church
November 18, 2018
Rev. Steve Andrews Jr.
A Slew of Difficult Topics
Dating
Cohabiting
Intentionality
Divorce
Remarriage
We will study what the Scriptures say on
these topics.
The Depth of Study
I did not take these difficult topics lightly.
I’ve never prepped more for a Bible study.
◦
Scriptures
◦
Early Church Fathers
◦
Book of Concord
◦
LCMS current day practices
Back to Two Weeks Ago
What are the four Scriptural Reasons for
Marriage?
1.
Procreation
2.
Help/Support with dominion
3.
Sex to prevent/counter temptation
4.
Pointing us to Christ
Dating
Simply put, our culture’s model of dating
is not the historical norm.
Even simpler, you won’t find it in the
Bible.
Dating
Brief discussion: What is dating?
Dating
What are the potential pitfalls of a dating
mentality?
◦
The goal is often not marriage.
If it is, why are our 6
th
graders dating? Are they getting
married in the next year or two?
◦
Instead, the focus is on ME!
Personal gratification, having a good time, what feels good.
This, by default, teaches objectification of the other. The
person becomes an object for me, rather than me serving
them.
◦
Treats relationships as temporary.
All relationships end.
◦
Lots of physicality apart from marriage.
Lust-based
Dating
How do we expect that after 15 years of this
mentality, they suddenly can stop that pattern
and permanently commit to a lifelong marriage?
◦
Cohabitation
◦
A 40-50% divorce rate
◦
No-fault divorce – reasons end up sounding
like why dating relationships end.
The lust died.
Dating
“Not Until I Say I Do” by Rev. Jonathan Fisk
◦
I can’t recommend this video enough.
◦
Twenty minutes that are well worth your time.
◦
I will be sharing this with our 7
th
grade families
every year as part of their milestone.
◦
I will be sharing this with our high school
students who come next week.
◦
I will post the video, along with a study guide,
on the church’s Facebook page this week.
How did they get married then?
Genesis 24 – Isaac and Rebekah
Matthew 1 – Joseph and Mary
The norm was arranged marriage.
Other options:
◦
Deuteronomy 25 - Levirate Marriage/Obligation
◦
1 Samuel 25 – David marries a widow and chooses
also another.
They were sinners, too. Lust was still
involved!
Cohabitation
Just as dating has become a normal part
of our American worldstory, so also is
cohabitation.
The act of a couple living together instead
of marrying.
We have come to a point, even in the
Church, where this doesn’t bother us
anymore. Is that okay? Should we just
accept this trend as normal?
Cohabitation
An estimated 18 million Americans are
cohabiting right now.
According to a 2017 Barna survey, 65% of
adults think it’s a good idea.
◦
84% saying the main reason is “to test their
compatibility with their significant other.”
◦
Yes, in other words, we’ve turned marriage into
test driving a car.
What happens if you’re not compatible?
◦
How does this view sex? Marriage?
Cohabitation
According to a 2015 Real weddings study,
76% of newlyweds cohabited first.
A recent survey from the National
Institute of Child Health and Human
Development found that just over 50% of
cohabiters ever even get married.
◦
The end finding of their study: “Cohabiting
relationships are less stable than marriages
and that instability is increasing.”
Cohabitation
What’s the danger?
◦
An unrepentant life!
◦
Disrespects and completely misunderstands
God’s gifts of marriage, sex, and children.
What I walk a couple through if
they speak with me
You’re lying.
◦
Either you are married, but are telling your friends and
family you aren’t, or
◦
you aren’t married, and you’re telling everyone you are
with your actions.
◦
Pick one. Either way, what must you do? Repent!
◦
(Where there is repentance, pastors speak forgiveness!)
What do you expect to change on the “wedding
day”?
◦
This question has been extremely helpful to getting
couples to think through what they’re doing.
◦
Although, you are asking God, as you stand in His
presence, to bless you in your sin and your lie. This is
not a good idea. (See Ananias and Sapphira in the Acts
of the Apostles)
The Three Options
1.
Justice of the Peace – marriage now, we
can celebrate with a service of blessing
with all the bells and whistles later
2.
Separate – full wedding later
3.
Private wedding now
Scriptures on Sex before Marriage
Genesis 2:24-25
Hebrews 13:4
Deuteronomy 22:13-21
1 Corinthians 6:9, 15-20, 7:2
Matthew 5:27-28
Exodus 22:16-17
Matthew 15:19, Mark 7:21, Acts 15:19-20,
Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8
◦
These all agree with 1 Corinthians 6:9.
Genesis 2:24-25
24
Therefore a man shall leave his father
and his mother and hold fast to his wife,
and they shall become one flesh.
25
And
the man and his wife were both naked
and were not ashamed.
Hebrews 13:4
4
Let marriage be held in honor among all,
and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for
God will judge the sexually immoral and
adulterous.
Deuteronomy 22:13-21
13
“If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and
then hates her
14
and accuses her of misconduct and
brings a bad name upon her, saying, ‘I took this
woman, and when I came near her, I did not find in
her evidence of virginity,’
15
then the father of the
young woman and her mother shall take and bring
out the evidence of her virginity to the elders of the
city in the gate.
16
And the father of the young woman
shall say to the elders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man
to marry, and he hates her;
17
and behold, he has
accused her of misconduct, saying, “I did not find in
your daughter evidence of virginity.” And yet this is
the evidence of my daughter's virginity.’ And they shall
spread the cloak before the elders of the city.
18
Then the elders of that city shall take the man
and whip him,
19
and they shall fine him a hundred
shekels of silver and give them to the father of
the young woman, because he has brought a bad
name upon a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his
wife. He may not divorce her all his days.
20
But if
the thing is true, that evidence of virginity was not
found in the young woman,
21
then they shall bring
out the young woman to the door of her father's
house, and the men of her city shall stone her to
death with stones, because she has done an
outrageous thing in Israel by whoring in her
father's house. So you shall purge the evil from
your midst.
1 Corinthians 6:9, 15-20, 7:2
9
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the
kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually
immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice
homosexuality…
15
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?
Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them
members of a prostitute? Never!
16
Or do you not know that
he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her?
For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.”
17
But he
who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
18
Flee
from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is
outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against
his own body.
19
Or do you not know that your body is a
temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from
God? You are not your own,
20
for you were bought with a
price. So glorify God in your body.
2
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man
should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Matthew 5:27-28
27
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You
shall not commit adultery.’
28
But I say to
you that everyone who looks at a woman
with lustful intent has already committed
adultery with her in his heart.
Exodus 22:16-17
16
“If a man seduces a virgin who is not
betrothed and lies with her, he shall give
the bride-price for her and make her his
wife.
17
If her father utterly refuses to give
her to him, he shall pay money equal to
the bride-price for virgins.
Scriptures on Sex AS Marriage
Deuteronomy 22:13-21 again
Deuteronomy 22:28-29, similar to the
next one.
Exodus 22:16-17 w/footnote in ESV
Genesis 24:61-67
1 Corinthians 6:15-16
Genesis 2:24?
Joseph and Mary?
Deuteronomy 22:13-21
13
“If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and
then hates her
14
and accuses her of misconduct and
brings a bad name upon her, saying, ‘I took this
woman, and when I came near her, I did not find in
her evidence of virginity,’
15
then the father of the
young woman and her mother shall take and bring
out the evidence of her virginity to the elders of the
city in the gate.
16
And the father of the young woman
shall say to the elders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man
to marry, and he hates her;
17
and behold, he has
accused her of misconduct, saying, “I did not find in
your daughter evidence of virginity.” And yet this is
the evidence of my daughter's virginity.’ And they shall
spread the cloak before the elders of the city.
18
Then the elders of that city shall take the man
and whip him,
19
and they shall fine him a hundred
shekels of silver and give them to the father of
the young woman, because he has brought a bad
name upon a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his
wife. He may not divorce her all his days.
20
But if
the thing is true, that evidence of virginity was not
found in the young woman,
21
then they shall bring
out the young woman to the door of her father's
house, and the men of her city shall stone her to
death with stones, because she has done an
outrageous thing in Israel by whoring in her
father's house. So you shall purge the evil from
your midst.
Deuteronomy 22:28-29
28
“If a man meets a virgin who is not
betrothed, and seizes her and lies with
her, and they are found,
29
then the man
who lay with her shall give to the father
of the young woman fifty shekels of silver,
and she shall be his wife, because he has
violated her. He may not divorce her all
his days.
Exodus 22:16-17
16
“If a man seduces a virgin who is not
betrothed and lies with her, he shall give
the bride-price for her and make her his
wife.
17
If her father utterly refuses to give
her to him, he shall pay money equal to
the bride-price for virgins.
“Sexual intercourse was tantamount to
marriage, only to be regularized with a
ceremony.” – Lutheran Study Bible footnote
Genesis 24:61-67
61
Then Rebekah and her young women arose and
rode on the camels and followed the man. Thus the
servant took Rebekah and went his way.
62
Now Isaac
had returned from Beer-lahai-roi and was dwelling in
the Negeb.
63
And Isaac went out to meditate in the
field toward evening. And he lifted up his eyes and saw,
and behold, there were camels coming.
64
And
Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac,
she dismounted from the camel
65
and said to the
servant, “Who is that man, walking in the field to meet
us?” The servant said, “It is my master.” So she took
her veil and covered herself.
66
And the servant told
Isaac all the things that he had done.
67
Then Isaac
brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and
took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved
her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.
1 Corinthians 6:15-16
15
Do you not know that your bodies are
members of Christ? Shall I then take the
members of Christ and make them
members of a prostitute? Never!
16
Or do
you not know that he who is joined to a
prostitute becomes one body with her? For,
as it is written, “The two will become one
flesh.”
Genesis 2:24-25
24
Therefore a man shall leave his father
and his mother and hold fast to his wife,
and they shall become one flesh.
This is an order of events. But, we could
read it two ways:
1.
Leave -> Get Married -> Become one
(sex)
2.
Leave -> Marry and Become one (sex as
marriage)
Joseph and Mary – Luke 2:1-7
2
In those days a decree went out from Caesar
Augustus that all the world should be registered.
2
This
was the first registration when Quirinius was governor
of Syria.
3
And all went to be registered, each to his own
town.
4
And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the
town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which
is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and
lineage of David,
5
to be registered with Mary, his
betrothed, who was with child.
6
And while they were
there, the time came for her to give birth.
7
And she
gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in
swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there
was no place for them in the inn.
Why aren’t they married yet?
Delve into a thought-provoking discussion on marriage and dating from a Biblical perspective. Uncover the significance of key Scriptural reasons for marriage, challenges of the dating mentality, and the impacts of cohabitation. Gain insights into the historical context of dating and its implications on modern relationships. Explore how teachings from the scriptures can guide us in navigating these crucial aspects of life.
Download Presentation
Please find below an Image/Link to download the presentation.
The content on the website is provided AS IS for your information and personal use only. It may not be sold, licensed, or shared on other websites without obtaining consent from the author. Download presentation by click this link. If you encounter any issues during the download, it is possible that the publisher has removed the file from their server.
E N D
Presentation Transcript
Marriage by Our Design Worldstory Bible Study St. Matthew Lutheran Church November 18, 2018 Rev. Steve Andrews Jr.
A Slew of Difficult Topics Dating Cohabiting Intentionality Divorce Remarriage We will study what the Scriptures say on these topics.
The Depth of Study I did not take these difficult topics lightly. I ve never prepped more for a Bible study. Scriptures Early Church Fathers Book of Concord LCMS current day practices
Back to Two Weeks Ago What are the four Scriptural Reasons for Marriage? 1. Procreation 2. Help/Support with dominion 3. Sex to prevent/counter temptation 4. Pointing us to Christ
Dating Simply put, our culture s model of dating is not the historical norm. Even simpler, you won t find it in the Bible.
Dating Brief discussion: What is dating?
Dating What are the potential pitfalls of a dating mentality? The goal is often not marriage. If it is, why are our 6thgraders dating? Are they getting married in the next year or two? Instead, the focus is on ME! Personal gratification, having a good time, what feels good. This, by default, teaches objectification of the other. The person becomes an object for me, rather than me serving them. Treats relationships as temporary. All relationships end. Lots of physicality apart from marriage. Lust-based
Dating How do we expect that after 15 years of this mentality, they suddenly can stop that pattern and permanently commit to a lifelong marriage? Cohabitation A 40-50% divorce rate No-fault divorce reasons end up sounding like why dating relationships end. The lust died.
Dating Not Until I Say I Do by Rev. Jonathan Fisk I can t recommend this video enough. Twenty minutes that are well worth your time. I will be sharing this with our 7thgrade families every year as part of their milestone. I will be sharing this with our high school students who come next week. I will post the video, along with a study guide, on the church s Facebook page this week.
How did they get married then? Genesis 24 Isaac and Rebekah Matthew 1 Joseph and Mary The norm was arranged marriage. Other options: Deuteronomy 25 - Levirate Marriage/Obligation 1 Samuel 25 David marries a widow and chooses also another. They were sinners, too. Lust was still involved!
Cohabitation Just as dating has become a normal part of our American worldstory, so also is cohabitation. The act of a couple living together instead of marrying. We have come to a point, even in the Church, where this doesn t bother us anymore. Is that okay? Should we just accept this trend as normal?
Cohabitation An estimated 18 million Americans are cohabiting right now. According to a 2017 Barna survey, 65% of adults think it s a good idea. 84% saying the main reason is to test their compatibility with their significant other. Yes, in other words, we ve turned marriage into test driving a car. What happens if you re not compatible? How does this view sex? Marriage?
Cohabitation According to a 2015 Real weddings study, 76% of newlyweds cohabited first. A recent survey from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development found that just over 50% of cohabiters ever even get married. The end finding of their study: Cohabiting relationships are less stable than marriages and that instability is increasing.
Cohabitation What s the danger? An unrepentant life! Disrespects and completely misunderstands God s gifts of marriage, sex, and children.
What I walk a couple through if they speak with me You re lying. Either you are married, but are telling your friends and family you aren t, or you aren t married, and you re telling everyone you are with your actions. Pick one. Either way, what must you do? Repent! (Where there is repentance, pastors speak forgiveness!) What do you expect to change on the wedding day ? This question has been extremely helpful to getting couples to think through what they re doing. Although, you are asking God, as you stand in His presence, to bless you in your sin and your lie. This is not a good idea. (See Ananias and Sapphira in the Acts of the Apostles)
The Three Options 1. Justice of the Peace marriage now, we can celebrate with a service of blessing with all the bells and whistles later 2. Separate full wedding later 3. Private wedding now
Scriptures on Sex before Marriage Genesis 2:24-25 Hebrews 13:4 Deuteronomy 22:13-21 1 Corinthians 6:9, 15-20, 7:2 Matthew 5:27-28 Exodus 22:16-17 Matthew 15:19, Mark 7:21, Acts 15:19-20, Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 These all agree with 1 Corinthians 6:9.
Genesis 2:24-25 24Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.25And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
Hebrews 13:4 4Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Deuteronomy 22:13-21 13 If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and then hates her14and accuses her of misconduct and brings a bad name upon her, saying, I took this woman, and when I came near her, I did not find in her evidence of virginity, 15then the father of the young woman and her mother shall take and bring out the evidence of her virginity to the elders of the city in the gate.16And the father of the young woman shall say to the elders, I gave my daughter to this man to marry, and he hates her;17and behold, he has accused her of misconduct, saying, I did not find in your daughter evidence of virginity. And yet this is the evidence of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloak before the elders of the city.
18Then the elders of that city shall take the man and whip him,19and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought a bad name upon a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his wife.He may not divorce her all his days.20But if the thing is true, that evidence of virginity was not found in the young woman,21then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done an outrageous thing in Israel by whoring in her father's house.So you shall purge the evil from your midst.
1 Corinthians 6:9, 15-20, 7:2 9Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived:neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!16Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, The two will become one flesh. 17But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.18Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.19Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?You are not your own,20for you were bought with a price.So glorify God in your body. 2But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Matthew 5:27-28 27 You have heard that it was said, You shall not commit adultery. 28But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Exodus 22:16-17 16 If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price for her and make her his wife.17If her father utterly refuses to give her to him,he shall pay money equal to the bride-price for virgins.
Scriptures on Sex AS Marriage Deuteronomy 22:13-21 again Deuteronomy 22:28-29, similar to the next one. Exodus 22:16-17 w/footnote in ESV Genesis 24:61-67 1 Corinthians 6:15-16 Genesis 2:24? Joseph and Mary?
Deuteronomy 22:13-21 13 If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and then hates her14and accuses her of misconduct and brings a bad name upon her, saying, I took this woman, and when I came near her, I did not find in her evidence of virginity, 15then the father of the young woman and her mother shall take and bring out the evidence of her virginity to the elders of the city in the gate.16And the father of the young woman shall say to the elders, I gave my daughter to this man to marry, and he hates her;17and behold, he has accused her of misconduct, saying, I did not find in your daughter evidence of virginity. And yet this is the evidence of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloak before the elders of the city.
18Then the elders of that city shall take the man and whip him,19and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought a bad name upon a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his wife.He may not divorce her all his days.20But if the thing is true, that evidence of virginity was not found in the young woman,21then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done an outrageous thing in Israel by whoring in her father's house.So you shall purge the evil from your midst.
Deuteronomy 22:28-29 28 If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found,29then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days.
Exodus 22:16-17 16 If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price for her and make her his wife.17If her father utterly refuses to give her to him,he shall pay money equal to the bride-price for virgins. Sexual intercourse was tantamount to marriage, only to be regularized with a ceremony. Lutheran Study Bible footnote
Genesis 24:61-67 61Then Rebekah and her young women arose and rode on the camels and followed the man. Thus the servant took Rebekah and went his way. 62Now Isaac had returned from Beer-lahai-roi and was dwelling in the Negeb.63And Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening. And he lifted up his eyes and saw, and behold, there were camels coming.64And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel65and said to the servant, Who is that man, walking in the field to meet us? The servant said, It is my master. So she took her veil and covered herself.66And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done.67Then Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.
1 Corinthians 6:15-16 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!16Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, The two will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24-25 24Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. This is an order of events. But, we could read it two ways: 1. Leave -> Get Married -> Become one (sex) 2. Leave -> Marry and Become one (sex as marriage)
Joseph and Mary Luke 2:1-7 2 In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered.2This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria.3And all went to be registered, each to his own town.4And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem,because he was of the house and lineage of David,5to be registered with Mary, his betrothed,who was with child.6And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth.7And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn. Why aren t they married yet?
