Insights on Separation of Spouses in Islam

 
Separation of
Spouses in Islam
 
Prepared By:
Mir, Zayed Abdul Rahman
12B-Atlantis
 
A Brief
Introduction on
Marital
Relationships
 
 
2
 
According to the Quran,
marriage is intended to be
unbounded in time, as
indicated by its
characterization as a "firm
bond" and by the rules
governing divorce.
 
3
A relationship between
spouses…
 
×
Should be based on love 
×
Important Decisions 
👪
×
Mutual Consent 
💑
4
 
×
When marital
harmony cannot be
obtained, 
the Quran
does allows and even
advises spouses to
bring their marriage to
an end.
Marital Disharmony
 
×
This is not taken as a
light issue and the
Quran establishes 
2
ways 
to avoid hasty
divorces.
5
 
×
Prescribing 
two
waiting periods
 of
three months 
before
the divorce is final in
order to give the
husband time to
reconsider his
decision.
2 methods of Reconciliation:
 
×
A man who takes an
oath 
not to have sexual
intercourse with his
wife
, which would lead
to automatic divorce,
is 
allowed a four-
month period to break
his oath.
6
 
Types of
Separation of
Spouses
 
 
7
Types of Separation of Spouses
 
In Islam, there are 3 types of
Separation which are:
 
×
Judicial divorce 
(formal separation)
×
Extra judicial divorce 
(divorce by
mutual separation) also know as
Khul’
×
Talaq 
(dissolution of marriage)
8
Definition Of Some Terms:
 
×
Qadi
 – Islamic Court Judge
×
Mahr
 - 
 is a nuptial gift made by groom to the
bride at the time of marriage. Upon receipt, it
becomes her sole property with complete
freedom of use and disposal. The marriage
contract is not valid without the mahr. The
amount of the mahr generally depended on the
socio-economic status of the bride.
×
Nikah
 - 
The Quran describes nikah a solid
contract between two adults. Thus a marriage
solemnized before adulthood is not considered a
nikah in the Quranic explanation.
 
9
3 types of Separation
 
Judicial Divorce
×
A marriage can also be
dissolved by means of
judicial divorce.
×
Either spouse can
petition a qadi court to
obtain judicial divorce,
but they must have
compelling grounds for
dissolving the marriage.
 
Khul’
×
Khulʿ is a contractual type
of divorce that is initiated
by the wife.
 
Talaq
×
In classical Islamic law it
refers to the husband's
right to dissolve the
marriage by simply
announcing to his wife
that he repudiates her.
×
They did not require
the husband to obtain
court approval or
provide a justification.
10
 
Judicial
Divorce
 
 
11
Judicial Divorce
 
×
The court starts the
process by
appointing an
arbitrator from each
of their families in
order to seek a
mediated
reconciliation. If this
effort fails, the court
adjudicates the
dispute by
apportioning fault for
the breakdown of
the marriage with the
associated financial
consequences.
 
×
Examples of fault
are cruelty;
husband's failure to
provide maintenance
or pay the immediate
installment of 
mahr
;
infidelity; desertion;
moral or social
incompatibility;
certain ailments; and
imprisonment
harmful to the
marriage.
12
 
Mutual
Divorce
(Khul’)
 
 
13
Mutual Divorce (Khul’)
 
×
A khul' is concluded
when the couple
agrees to a divorce in
exchange for a
monetary
compensation paid
by the wife, which
cannot exceed the
value of
the 
mahr
 she had
received, and is
generally a smaller
sum or involves
forfeiting the still
unpaid portion
×
The divorce is final
and irrevocable,
effective when the
contract is
concluded.
 
×
He couple cannot
reconcile during the
waiting period,
defined as in the
case of talaq, but the
husband is required
to pay maintenance
during its term,
unless the
requirement is
waived by the
contract.
 
×
As in the case
of 
talaq
, remarriage is
possible until a khul'
is concluded for a
third time. If the
husband pressures
his wife to agree to
khul' instead of
pronouncing talaq,
which would let him
avoid attendant
financial
responsibilities, the
divorce is considered
to be invalid.
×
Like talaq, khulʿ
takes place out of
court.
14
 
Talaq
(Repudiation)
 
 
15
Talaq (Repudiation)
 
×
In classical Islamic law it refers
to the husband's right to dissolve
the marriage by simply
announcing to his wife that he
repudiates her.
×
The jurists imposed certain
restrictions on valid repudiation.
×
For example, the declaration
must be made in clear terms; the
husband must be of sound mind
and not coerced. Upon talaq, the
wife is entitled to the full
payment of 
mahr
 if it had not
already been paid.
 
×
The husband is
obligated to financially
support her until the end
of the waiting period or
the delivery of her child,
if she is pregnant. In
addition, she has a right
to child support and any
past due maintenance,
which Islamic law
requires to be paid
regularly in the course of
marriage.
×
Talaq is considered in
Islam to be
a reprehensible means
of divorce.
16
Talaq (Repudiation)
 
×
The initial declaration of talaq is a revocable repudiation
(ṭalāq rajʿah) which does not terminate the marriage. The
husband can revoke the repudiation at any time during the
waiting period (
‘iddah
) which lasts three full menstrual cycles.
×
The waiting period is intended to give the couple an
opportunity for reconciliation, and also a means to ensure
that the wife is not pregnant. Resumption of sexual relations
automatically retracts the repudiation. The wife retains all
her rights during the waiting period.
×
The divorce becomes final when the waiting period expires.
This is called a "minor" divorce (
al-baynuna al-sughra
) and the
couple can remarry. If the husband repudiates his wife for
the third time, it triggers a "major" divorce (
al-baynuna al-
kubra
), after which the couple cannot remarry without an
intervening consummated marriage to another man.
17
 
Wisdom of
Separation of
Spouses
 
18
 
A Hadeeth about Shaytan and
Separation of Spouses:
 
Jabir (R.A) reported: The Messenger of Allah,
peace and blessings be upon him, said, “
Verily,
Satan places his throne over the water and he
sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank
are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of
them says: I have done this and this.
Satan says: You have done nothing. Another
one says: I did not leave this man alone until I
separated him from his wife. Satan embraces
him and he says: You have done well.
 
19
 
The Quran’s Wisdom about
Spouses
 
×
The Quran uses the word nikah for this
union of a man and a woman. It literally
means getting absorbed in each other the
way rain water absorbs in earth. Hence
the Quran describes husband and wife
each other’s Zauj (equal partner).
 
20
 
The Quran’s Wisdom about
Spouses
 
×
Both are essential for each other in family
union as each complements the other in a
manner that without the one the other
cannot consider himself or herself
complete. It is obvious that in the absence
of compatibility, the family life will be not
be balanced and healthy.
 
21
 
The Quran’s Wisdom about
Spouses
 
×
Based from 
Surah an Nisa
: 
The Quran gives
absolute free choice to both men and women
to select their life partner. On one hand, it tells
men
 “then marry from among women such as are
lawful or desirous to you” (4:3)
, while on the
other it tells women that men cannot hold
them against their will, 
“O you who have
attained to faith! It is not lawful for you to [try to]
become heirs to your wives [by holding onto them]
against their will”
 
22
 
Marital conflicts and
their solutions
 
23
 
Spousal Clashes and their Solutions
 
×
In regards to handling conflict we first need to stop
focusing on our spouse and start focusing more on
ourselves.  Even when our spouse is doing something
we believe is blameworthy, we still first focus on our
own reactions as a means to rectifying the
situation.  This is because even though we believe
our spouse is doing something wrong, we’ve usually
been enabling and even encouraging their behavior
without realizing it.  When it comes to conflict, the
only person who we can change is ourselves, so the
first step in handling marital conflict is to change our
own part in a destructive behavior pattern.
 
24
 
Spousal Clashes and their Solutions
 
×
The next thing we have to do is look at our efforts to
communicate with our spouse about a problem.  This
involves broaching the subject and telling our spouse
how their behavior is affecting us. This involves being
calm, honest, and tactful with our spouse when we
speak to them.  It calls upon us to eliminate any
emotional games, vengeful arguments, hurtful
language, or passive-aggressive behavior.  In other
words, if we want conflict to refine our relationship
and make our bond stronger, we have to let go of
any spiteful attempts to “punish” our spouse or vent
our anger at them.
 
25
 
Spousal Clashes and their Solutions
 
×
After authentically representing ourselves to our
spouse, we have to calmly receive whatever they
have to say to us.  This may be an emotional tirade
that seeks to pull us into a familiar argument, or it
may be a valid criticism. In any event, we have to
hold on to our resolve to stay calm and respectful,
despite how our spouse behaves, and be open to
whatever it is they have to say.  Our spouse may not
agree with us or be willing to change (yet), but at the
very least we’ve given them food for thought and set
a better tone in our marriage.
 
26
MARITAL DISCORD  (An Nushuz)
IN ISLAM
 
Part of the Wife
×
From all the different definitions, we see that Nushuz on the
part of the wife revolves around any of four characteristics:
1.
She does not beautify herself for her husband when he
desires that from her.
2.
She disobeys her husband with respect to coming to his bed
and she refuses to respond to his calls.
3.
She leaves the house without his permission or without any
legal right to do so.
4.
She does not perform her obligatory religious duties, such as
failure to perform some prayers, fasting Ramadan, covering
her 'awra, or any other obligatory act of Islam.
27
MARITAL DISCORD  (An Nushuz)
IN ISLAM
 
Part of the Husband
×
Nushuz when it is committed by the husband, revolves
around the following point:
1.
The husband wrongfully elevating and raising himself
arrogantly above his wife and above the obligations which
Allah has placed upon him with regard to her.
2.
He transgresses against her by beating her, harming her,
reviling her, abusing her and not treating her properly.
3.
He fails to fulfill his mandatory obligations toward her such
as support, etc.
4.
He becomes diffident toward her and unconcerned for her
by boycotting her in talk or in the bed, refusing to speak to
her, etc.
28
MARITAL DISCORD  (An Nushuz)
IN ISLAM
 
The Remedy for Nushuz When it is From the Wife
1.
When a wife is in a state of nushuz, the husband can address it with
the following three steps:
2.
Admonition and guidance.
3.
Boycotting
4.
Striking her
The Remedy When Nushuz is By the Husband
1.
Try to discover the reason for his estrangement and/or bad behavior.
2.
Admonish her husband and remind him of his responsibility in front of
Allah towards his wife such as good behavior and kind treatment.
3.
Try to please her husband in order to make things right. This can be
just by showing kindness and concern and can also include
compromising some of her own rights for the sake of harmony.
 
29
Let’s review some
concepts
 
Judicial Divorce
×
Either spouse can
petition a qadi court to
obtain judicial divorce, but
they must have compelling
grounds for dissolving the
marriage.
 
Khul’
×
Khulʿ is a contractual type
of divorce that is initiated
by the wife.
 
Talaq
×
In classical Islamic law it
refers to the husband's
right to dissolve the
marriage by simply
announcing to his wife that
he repudiates her.
30
 
An Nushuz
The root of the word nushuz (n-sh-z) refers to
something that rises. Traditional Qur'an
commentators generally understand women's
nushuz as disobedience or rebelliousness
(isyan) toward their husbands.
 
Thanks!
 
Any questions?
 
31
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Explore the guidelines for marital relationships and separation in Islam as per the Quran, emphasizing mutual consent, reconciliation methods, and types of separation. The discussion covers judicial divorce, extra-judicial divorce (Khul and Talaq), and critical terms like Mahr and Nikah. Understanding these aspects is crucial for a better comprehension of marital dynamics in Islamic teachings.

  • Islam
  • Separation
  • Marital relationships
  • Quran
  • Guidelines

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  1. Separation of Spouses in Islam Prepared By: Prepared By: Mir, Zayed Abdul Rahman 12B-Atlantis

  2. A Brief Introduction on Marital Relationships 2

  3. According to the Quran, marriage is intended to be unbounded in time, as indicated by its characterization as a "firm bond" and by the rules governing divorce. 3

  4. A relationship between spouses Should be based on love Important Decisions Mutual Consent 4

  5. Marital Disharmony When marital harmony cannot be obtained, the Quran the Quran does allows and even does allows and even advises spouses to advises spouses to bring their marriage to bring their marriage to an end. an end. This is not taken as a light issue and the Quran establishes 2 2 ways ways to avoid hasty divorces. 5

  6. 2 methods of Reconciliation: Prescribing two waiting periods of three months before the divorce is final in order to give the husband time to reconsider his decision. A man who takes an oath not to have sexual intercourse with his wife, which would lead to automatic divorce, is allowed a four- month period to break his oath. 6

  7. Types of Separation of Spouses 7

  8. Types of Separation of Spouses In Islam, there are 3 types of Separation which are: Judicial divorce Judicial divorce (formal separation) Extra judicial divorce (divorce by mutual separation) also know as Khul Khul Talaq (dissolution of marriage) Extra judicial divorce Talaq 8

  9. Definition Of Some Terms: Qadi Qadi Islamic Court Judge Mahr - is a nuptial gift made by groom to the bride at the time of marriage. Upon receipt, it becomes her sole property with complete freedom of use and disposal. The marriage contract is not valid without the mahr. The amount of the mahr generally depended on the socio-economic status of the bride. Nikah - The Quran describes nikah a solid contract between two adults. Thus a marriage solemnized before adulthood is not considered a nikah in the Quranic explanation. Mahr Nikah 9

  10. 3 types of Separation Judicial Divorce Judicial Divorce Khul Khul Khul is a contractual type of divorce that is initiated by the wife. Talaq Talaq A marriage can also be dissolved by means of judicial divorce. Either spouse can petition a qadi court to obtain judicial divorce, but they must have compelling grounds for dissolving the marriage. In classical Islamic law it refers to the husband's right to dissolve the marriage by simply announcing to his wife that he repudiates her. They did not require the husband to obtain court approval or provide a justification. 10

  11. Judicial Divorce 11

  12. Judicial Divorce The court starts the process by appointing an arbitrator from each of their families in order to seek a mediated reconciliation. If this effort fails, the court adjudicates the dispute by apportioning fault for the breakdown of the marriage with the associated financial consequences. Examples of fault are cruelty; husband's failure to provide maintenance or pay the immediate installment of mahr; infidelity; desertion; moral or social incompatibility; certain ailments; and imprisonment harmful to the marriage. 12

  13. Mutual Divorce (Khul ) 13

  14. Mutual Divorce (Khul) A khul' is concluded when the couple agrees to a divorce in exchange for a monetary compensation paid by the wife, which cannot exceed the value of the mahr she had received, and is generally a smaller sum or involves forfeiting the still unpaid portion The divorce is final and irrevocable, effective when the contract is concluded. He couple cannot reconcile during the waiting period, defined as in the case of talaq, but the husband is required to pay maintenance during its term, unless the requirement is waived by the contract. As in the case of talaq, remarriage is possible until a khul' is concluded for a third time. If the husband pressures his wife to agree to khul' instead of pronouncing talaq, which would let him avoid attendant financial responsibilities, the divorce is considered to be invalid. Like talaq, khul takes place out of court. 14

  15. Talaq (Repudiation) 15

  16. Talaq(Repudiation) In classical Islamic law it refers to the husband's right to dissolve the marriage by simply announcing to his wife that he repudiates her. The jurists imposed certain restrictions on valid repudiation. For example, the declaration must be made in clear terms; the husband must be of sound mind and not coerced. Upon talaq, the wife is entitled to the full payment of mahr if it had not already been paid. The husband is obligated to financially support her until the end of the waiting period or the delivery of her child, if she is pregnant. In addition, she has a right to child support and any past due maintenance, which Islamic law requires to be paid regularly in the course of marriage. Talaq is considered in Islam to be a reprehensible means of divorce. 16

  17. Talaq(Repudiation) The initial declaration of talaq is a revocable repudiation ( al q raj ah) which does not terminate the marriage. The husband can revoke the repudiation at any time during the waiting period ( iddah) which lasts three full menstrual cycles. The waiting period is intended to give the couple an opportunity for reconciliation, and also a means to ensure that the wife is not pregnant. Resumption of sexual relations automatically retracts the repudiation. The wife retains all her rights during the waiting period. The divorce becomes final when the waiting period expires. This is called a "minor" divorce (al-baynuna al-sughra) and the couple can remarry. If the husband repudiates his wife for the third time, it triggers a "major" divorce (al-baynuna al- kubra), after which the couple cannot remarry without an intervening consummated marriage to another man. 17

  18. Wisdom of Separation of Spouses 18

  19. A Hadeethabout Shaytanand Separation of Spouses: Jabir (R.A) reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, Verily, Satan Satan places his throne over the water and he places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. them says: I have done this and this. Satan Satan says: You have done nothing. Another says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he him and he says: You have done well. says: You have done well. Verily, to him in rank until I 19

  20. The Qurans Wisdom about Spouses The Quran uses the word nikah for this union of a man and a woman. It literally means getting absorbed in each other the way rain water absorbs in earth. Hence the Quran describes husband and wife each other s Zauj (equal partner). 20

  21. The Qurans Wisdom about Spouses Both are essential for each other in family union as each complements the other in a manner that without the one the other cannot consider himself or herself complete. It is obvious that in the absence of compatibility, the family life will be not be balanced and healthy. 21

  22. The Qurans Wisdom about Spouses Based from Surah an absolute free choice to both men and women to select their life partner. On one hand, it tells men then marry from among women such as are lawful or desirous to you (4:3), while on the other it tells women that men cannot hold them against their will, O you who have attained to faith! It is not lawful for you to [try to] become heirs to your wives [by holding onto them] against their will Surah an Nisa Nisa: The Quran gives 22

  23. Marital conflicts and their solutions 23

  24. Spousal Clashes and their Solutions In regards to handling conflict we first need to stop focusing on our spouse and start focusing more on ourselves. Even when our spouse is doing something we believe is blameworthy, we still first focus on our own reactions as a means to rectifying the situation. This is because even though we believe our spouse is doing something wrong, we ve usually been enabling and even encouraging their behavior without realizing it. When it comes to conflict, the only person who we can change is ourselves, so the first step in handling marital conflict is to change our own part in a destructive behavior pattern. 24

  25. Spousal Clashes and their Solutions The next thing we have to do is look at our efforts to communicate with our spouse about a problem. This involves broaching the subject and telling our spouse how their behavior is affecting us. This involves being calm, honest, and tactful with our spouse when we speak to them. It calls upon us to eliminate any emotional games, vengeful arguments, hurtful language, or passive-aggressive behavior. In other words, if we want conflict to refine our relationship and make our bond stronger, we have to let go of any spiteful attempts to punish our spouse or vent our anger at them. 25

  26. Spousal Clashes and their Solutions After authentically representing ourselves to our spouse, we have to calmly receive whatever they have to say to us. This may be an emotional tirade that seeks to pull us into a familiar argument, or it may be a valid criticism. In any event, we have to hold on to our resolve to stay calm and respectful, despite how our spouse behaves, and be open to whatever it is they have to say. Our spouse may not agree with us or be willing to change (yet), but at the very least we ve given them food for thought and set a better tone in our marriage. 26

  27. MARITAL DISCORD (An Nushuz) IN ISLAM Part of the Wife Part of the Wife From all the different definitions, we see that Nushuz on the part of the wife revolves around any of four characteristics: 1. She does not beautify herself for her husband when he desires that from her. 2. She disobeys her husband with respect to coming to his bed and she refuses to respond to his calls. 3. She leaves the house without his permission or without any legal right to do so. 4. She does not perform her obligatory religious duties, such as failure to perform some prayers, fasting Ramadan, covering her 'awra, or any other obligatory act of Islam. 27

  28. MARITAL DISCORD (An Nushuz) IN ISLAM Part of the Husband Part of the Husband Nushuz when it is committed by the husband, revolves around the following point: 1. The husband wrongfully elevating and raising himself arrogantly above his wife and above the obligations which Allah has placed upon him with regard to her. 2. He transgresses against her by beating her, harming her, reviling her, abusing her and not treating her properly. 3. He fails to fulfill his mandatory obligations toward her such as support, etc. 4. He becomes diffident toward her and unconcerned for her by boycotting her in talk or in the bed, refusing to speak to her, etc. 28

  29. MARITAL DISCORD (An Nushuz) IN ISLAM The Remedy for The Remedy for Nushuz 1. When a wife is in a state of nushuz, the husband can address it with the following three steps: 2. Admonition and guidance. 3. Boycotting 4. Striking her The Remedy When The Remedy When Nushuz Nushuz is By the Husband is By the Husband 1. Try to discover the reason for his estrangement and/or bad behavior. 2. Admonish her husband and remind him of his responsibility in front of Allah towards his wife such as good behavior and kind treatment. 3. Try to please her husband in order to make things right. This can be just by showing kindness and concern and can also include compromising some of her own rights for the sake of harmony. Nushuz When it is From the Wife When it is From the Wife 29

  30. Lets review some concepts Judicial Divorce Judicial Divorce Either spouse can petition a qadi court to obtain judicial divorce, but they must have compelling grounds for dissolving the marriage. Khul Khul Khul is a contractual type of divorce that is initiated by the wife. Talaq Talaq In classical Islamic law it refers to the husband's right to dissolve the marriage by simply announcing to his wife that he repudiates her. An An Nushuz Nushuz The root of the word nushuz (n-sh-z) refers to something that rises. Traditional Qur'an commentators generally understand women's nushuz as disobedience or rebelliousness (isyan) toward their husbands. 30

  31. Thanks! Any questions? 31

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