Family Mediation: A Guide to Reaching Mutually Acceptable Agreements

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Explore the world of family mediation as an alternative dispute resolution method for separating couples. Understand the core principles, values, and definition of mediation, along with its application in various areas. Learn how professional mediators facilitate communication and empower individuals in making informed decisions during family breakdowns. Discover the benefits of mediation in preserving dignity, promoting fairness, and ensuring psychological well-being.


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  1. Welcome Welcome to the Separation Network s webinar presented in conjunction with the Legal Aid Board

  2. Welcome Welcome to the Separation Network s webinar presented in conjunction with the Legal Aid Board Separating Families: Alternatives to the Court Process including Mediation 10.00 Presented by Aisling Molony (Mediator, Ennis) Followed by questions from attendees Legal Information, Advice and Representation including the State (Legal Aid Board s) Civil Legal Aid Scheme Presented by Toni Louise Monaghan (Law Centre, Wicklow) Followed by questions from attendees 10.50 Break for 15 minutes 11.50 Break for 15 minutes End of Webinar The slides will be circulated following the webinar. 1.00

  3. FAMILY MEDIATION Presentation by Aisling Molony Family Mediation Service 11th& 13thMay 2021

  4. Mediation is an alternative method of dispute resolution to the adversarial process MEDIATION DEFINED Mediation is used in many areas: Industrial and Workplace disputes Commercial disputes Community disputes International disputes Family disputes

  5. Definition: What is Mediation? a voluntary, confidential, non-adversarial conflict resolution process in which a neutral third party assists parties to a dispute to reach mutually acceptable agreements

  6. What is Family Mediation? FAMILY MEDIATION Family Mediation is a process in which a professional mediator assists those involved in family breakdown, and in particular separating or divorcing couples, to communicate better with one another and reach their own agreed and informed decisions concerning some or all of the issues.

  7. FAMILY MEDIATION FAMILY MEDIATION - - CORE PRINCIPLES OF MEDIATION: CORE PRINCIPLES OF MEDIATION: Impartiality Empowerment Confidentiality Competence Fairness Psychological well-being Self determination Full disclosure

  8. Preserve the dignity of each person FAMILY MEDIATION VALUES VALUES INHERENT TO INHERENT TO MEDIATION MEDIATION: : Treat each as adult and respect their ability to make decisions Acknowledge that human beings are entitled to fair treatment Acknowledge the right to self-determination, equitable distribution of property, financial security and freedom from unnecessary outside interference

  9. FAMILY MEDIATION - TASKS OF THE MEDIATOR: TASKS OF THE MEDIATOR: Establish rapport Build confidence Listen to stories without judgement Balance participation of both parties

  10. FAMILY MEDIATION - MEDIATORS MEDIATORS TECHNIQUES TECHNIQUES AND AND STRATEGIES STRATEGIES Listening Empowering Questioning for options Questioning for clarity Reality testing Reframing Balancing

  11. FAMILY MEDIATION-Sources of Family Mediation Sources of Family Mediation 1. Family Mediation Service Free, state-run service countrywide. Mediation delivered by professional, trained mediators. 2. Private Mediators Sourced through Mediators Institute Ireland. Very important to establish Family Mediators are experienced practitioners. Check credentials and experience with mediator. www.themii.ie

  12. Set up as Pilot 1986 FAMILY MEDIATION SERVICE - HISTORY Family Support Agency 2003 Legal Aid Board November 2011 Offices in 1986 1 Dublin Offices in 2021 17 Countrywide eight full time and nine part time with a number of mediation offices in District Court venues.

  13. Court ordered mediation Mediation for non-nationals Mediation for culturally diverse couples Mediation for couples living here and CLIENT PROFILE 2021 abroad Other family-related mediation: foster parents/natural parents, grandparents and natural parent, mother-in-law/son-in-law, care of elderly relative

  14. ISSUES FOR MEDIATION Family Home No Family Home Cost & Availability of Accommodation Parenting Parenting with both parents working Cost of childcare Guardianship Maintenance

  15. ISSUES FOR MEDIATION Pensions Insurances Other Property Finances Divorce Mediation

  16. FAMILY MEDIATION- THE MEDIATION PROCESS MEDIATION PROCESS THE 1. Register with the Service 2. Initial contact from one individual 3. Other party needs to confirm interest and willingness to participate in mediation 4. Once both confirmed, Couple on the waiting list 5. Issued with an appointment

  17. Couples attend and meet together with the mediator Sign Ground Rules Storytelling Screening for domestic abuse/decision making ability/capacity Intake questionnaire Identify and prioritise issues for mediation Handout budget sheets to be completed for next session if appropriate FIRST MEETING

  18. On average takes 3 to 6 sessions Sessions will cover: Budgets / Income / Assets / Expenditure Option Development & Negotiation around assets, pensions, insurance policies etc Parenting Arrangements Financial Agreements Drawing together the Agreement MEDIATION PROCESS

  19. MEDIATION PROCESS A copy of their agreement is drawn up into a Note of Mediated Agreement with documentation attached and is sent to each party.

  20. Parties have the following options post mediation Live by Agreement without formalising it Have matters pertaining to Custody, Access, Maintenance and Guardianship ruled in District Court Used as the basis for Divorce Proceedings / Settlements POST MEDIATION

  21. Masters and Post-graduate Certificate in Mediation & Conflict Intervention: NUI Maynooth/FMS Family Mediation Training 2 Modules (i) Substantive knowledge (ii) FMS Placement Interview & Selection: All day Group & Individual interviews Placement: 2 days per week October to May (8months) Co-mediation, supervision Minimum 5 co-mediation cases with trainer/supervisor 12 solo cases under supervision

  22. USEFUL CONTACTS Legal Aid Board www.legalaidboard.ie Family Mediation Service www.legalaidboard.ie F.L.A.C. www.flac.ie Law Society of Ireland www.lawsociety.ie Treoir www.treoir.ie TUSLA www.tusla.ie MABS www.mabs.ie (Money advice and budgeting service) Citizens Information www.citizensinformation.ie Children s Rights Alliance Ombudsman for Children Central Authority for Maintenance Recovery-Department of Justice & Equality. E-mail: mainrecov@justice.ie

  23. Mediators Institute Ireland Accrediting body for practising mediators in Ireland Website has list of private family practitioner mediators www.the mii.ie

  24. FAMILY MEDIATION SERVICE List of all offices and contact numbers available at present on www.legalaidboard.ie

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