Engaging Introductions: Using Stories to Capture Your Audience
LG’s
4: Write a full, compelling, clear, complex introduction.
3: Understand elements of strong introductions.
Free Write
•
You are all writing college essays. Most of these are stories about a
change in your character or personality.
•
Used to be shy, now can open up more.
•
Used to live under a strict parent’s thumb, now enjoys freedom.
•
So, who is the real you?
•
Write freely for 5 minutes.
Main Claims
•
Your prompt: In “Lamb to the Slaughter,” who is the real Mary?
•
Most of you have simply stated sentences.
•
But we want to make our claims complex to match the complexity of the
ideas we, as older people, generate.
•
No FANBOYS
•
For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So
Subordinating Conjunctions
One way to make your claim more complex: Subordinating conjunctions.
After
Although
As
As if
As long as
As much as
As soon as
As though
Because
Before
By
Even
Even if
Even though
If
If only
If when
If then
Inasmuch
In order to
Just as
Lest
Now
Now since
Now that
Now when
Once
Provided that
Rather than
Since
So that
Supposing
Than
That
Though
Till
Unless
Until
When
Whenever
Where
Whereas
Where if
Wherever
Whether
Which
While
Who
Whoever
Why
MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
•
Quiz on subordinate conjunctions next class.
•
Memorize them.
Complex Claim
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
by Mark Twain is racist.
Simple claim.
Slightly more complex:
So that
students aren’t exposed to
racist elements,
Huck Finn
should be banned from schools.
Yet more complex:
As much as
Huck Finn
seems racist,
Twain employed satirical elements to expose hypocrisies of
racist attitudes.
Introductions all around!
You need to compel the audience to read your writing.
Stories are the best way to engage an audience.
Why not start your paper with a story?
The time Kitty had to eat a fried grasshopper was terrifying. As
it approached her mouth she could see each detail of its body.
She thought she could hide the horror of the bug’s guts
exploding across her tongue; however, as Kitty chewed, she was
completely vulnerable to her friends watching her who probably
thought she was crazy. She wasn’t sure what was worse: the bug
or the thought that her friend’s might be judging her. That fear
of judgment, even from our friends, relates to anyone. Anne
Bradstreet, in her poem “The Author to Her Book,” also
describes the fear inherent in expressing yourself as the speaker
in the poem grieves over the publishing of her book. As a
presentation of anguished loneliness, Bradstreet’s poem presents
the vulnerability involved in expressing your inner world.
Years of enduring clutzy mistake after clutzy mistake made Sammy
want to learn to be perfect. After much experimenting, he figured out
that t
he only way to be perfect is to sit in an upright chair in a beige room
sipping lukewarm tea and popping vitamin pills—forever. He will never
risk having wrong thoughts. He will never burn his lips from hot tea or
risk shattered glass from dropped mugs. No falling from chairs, no gas
from too much bran. Undoubtedly, Sammy will enjoy a comfortable,
error-free, perfect life. But what about love? Love is disorder, because it
provides the recognition that life is not be perfect. Ogden Nash in his
poem “My Dream,” demonstrates the necessity for at least some madness
in life. In addition to describing love as the force that renders our neat,
ordered lives disordered, Nash in his poem “My Dream” also makes it a
chaos that we secretly desire.
Your Intro Format:
1.
Tell a brief, engaging story that is relevant to your claim.
2.
Connect the story to the topic of the paper.
1.
Briefly summarize the text using facts that relate to your story and the
main claim
3.
State your main claim.
LG’s
4: Develop fully developed paragraphs
3: Find individual phrases and explain how they relate to your topic
sentence.
Paragraphs
•
Look at your main claim.
•
What scenes do you need to use to support the main claim?
•
Choose 3.
•
Each scene will become the source for its own paragraph.
•
That means you will have three body paragraphs.
First paragraph
•
Use the first scene.
•
Go in chronological scene—use the scene that appears first in the story.
•
Topic sentence
•
How does this scene support your main claim? The answer to this question becomes
your topic sentence. Use a subordinating conjunction in this sentence.
•
Find 5 quotes in the scene that you can use to support the topic sentence.
•
Quotes should not be entire sentences. Just 3 or 4 words of a line.
•
Focus on the most important word or words in a line.
•
For each line, write one or two sentences that explain how those lines support
your topic sentence.
•
Write a concluding sentence that ties the evidence to the topic sentence.
When Harding talks about the wolves and the rabbits in the common room, the
patients describe their belief that the hospital will keep them safe from the dangerous
world outside. They all know “not to challenge the wolf to combat” (1), thinking that
the rest of the world is scary and full of wolves. Nurse Ratched is the wolf because
everything about her intimidates the patients, including the way she talks. She speaks
towards the patients with passive aggression. The fact that “she merely needs to
insinuate” (1) makes them think everyone in society outside of the hospital will speak
to them the same way. It sounds terrifying to them, because when she “insinuates” she
doesn’t need to directly accuse them. Insinuating makes them come up with their own
ways to hate themselves. They hate themselves so much as “weak, little rabbits,” that
they would rather stay in the hospital than leave. Lastly, since they have excluded
themselves from the outside world the patients don’t know how to handle the real
world. Harding says “it’s not the rabbits place to stick up for his fellow” (2) and that
they only care about themselves. They can hardly stand up for themselves so they
know they would not be able to have the confidence to even leave the hospital to go
out.
•
Do the same for the other 2 scenes.
And to Conclude…
Return to the main claim.
Restate, don’t repeat
Return to the story
Make the whole idea relevant to the audience.
In the poem, Bradstreet does not just present an author
lamenting her book; she laments a human being losing the
force of her life. The words we write, the thoughts we
generate, the opinions we voice, and the stories we share—just
like a work of art—are victim to the whims,
misunderstandings, and often flawed intentions of others, a
terrifying prospect. However, as terrifying as expressing your
ideas may seem, we can derive some optimism in Bradstreet’s
poem. Perhaps we can use it as a warning: As we consider our
own fragile inner-worlds, hopefully and with equal weight we
can consider those of others. Ultimately, though eating
grasshoppers is scary, at least we can all share in the fact that
it’s yucky for everyone. In sharing we can find comfort.
Perfection is unattainable. Once you realize that the
only way to attain perfection is to avoid conflict and
challenge at all costs, you understand that there is no
necessity to live a perfect, conflict-free life. Love
requires conflict, because you have to accept another
person into your identity. Nash accepts that, and has
designed a poem that reflects the happy realization that
you don’t need perfection; you need a little bit of color,
a little bit of a burnt lip, and a few shards of broken
glass at your feet.
Craft compelling introductions by incorporating stories in your writing to captivate your audience. Start your essay or paper with a vivid narrative to draw readers in and set the tone for the rest of your piece. Stories have the power to intrigue, evoke emotion, and create a connection between the writer and the reader.
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Presentation Transcript
LGs 4: Write a full, compelling, clear, complex introduction. 3: Understand elements of strong introductions.
Free Write You are all writing college essays. Most of these are stories about a change in your character or personality. Used to be shy, now can open up more. Used to live under a strict parent s thumb, now enjoys freedom. So, who is the real you? Write freely for 5 minutes.
Main Claims Your prompt: In Lamb to the Slaughter, who is the real Mary? Most of you have simply stated sentences. But we want to make our claims complex to match the complexity of the ideas we, as older people, generate. No FANBOYS For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So
Subordinating Conjunctions One way to make your claim more complex: Subordinating conjunctions. After Although As As if As long as As much as As soon as As though Because Before By Even Even if Even though If If only If when If then Inasmuch In order to Just as Lest Now Now since Now that Now when Once Provided that Rather than Since So that Supposing Than That Though Till Unless Until When Whenever Where Whereas Where if Wherever Whether Which While Who Whoever Why
MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Quiz on subordinate conjunctions next class. Memorize them.
Complex Claim The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain is racist. Simple claim. Slightly more complex: So that students aren t exposed to racist elements, Huck Finn should be banned from schools. Yet more complex: As much as Huck Finn seems racist, Twain employed satirical elements to expose hypocrisies of racist attitudes.
Introductions all around! You need to compel the audience to read your writing. Stories are the best way to engage an audience. Why not start your paper with a story?
The time Kitty had to eat a fried grasshopper was terrifying. As it approached her mouth she could see each detail of its body. She thought she could hide the horror of the bug s guts exploding across her tongue; however, as Kitty chewed, she was completely vulnerable to her friends watching her who probably thought she was crazy. She wasn t sure what was worse: the bug or the thought that her friend s might be judging her. That fear of judgment, even from our friends, relates to anyone. Anne Bradstreet, in her poem The Author to Her Book, also describes the fear inherent in expressing yourself as the speaker in the poem grieves over the publishing of her book. As a presentation of anguished loneliness, Bradstreet s poem presents the vulnerability involved in expressing your inner world.
Years of enduring clutzy mistake after clutzy mistake made Sammy want to learn to be perfect. After much experimenting, he figured out that the only way to be perfect is to sit in an upright chair in a beige room sipping lukewarm tea and popping vitamin pills forever. He will never risk having wrong thoughts. He will never burn his lips from hot tea or risk shattered glass from dropped mugs. No falling from chairs, no gas from too much bran. Undoubtedly, Sammy will enjoy a comfortable, error-free, perfect life. But what about love? Love is disorder, because it provides the recognition that life is not be perfect. Ogden Nash in his poem My Dream, demonstrates the necessity for at least some madness in life. In addition to describing love as the force that renders our neat, ordered lives disordered, Nash in his poem My Dream also makes it a chaos that we secretly desire.
Your Intro Format: 1. Tell a brief, engaging story that is relevant to your claim. 2. Connect the story to the topic of the paper. 1. Briefly summarize the text using facts that relate to your story and the main claim 3. State your main claim.
LGs 4: Develop fully developed paragraphs 3: Find individual phrases and explain how they relate to your topic sentence.
Paragraphs Look at your main claim. What scenes do you need to use to support the main claim? Choose 3. Each scene will become the source for its own paragraph. That means you will have three body paragraphs.
First paragraph Use the first scene. Go in chronological scene use the scene that appears first in the story. Topic sentence How does this scene support your main claim? The answer to this question becomes your topic sentence. Use a subordinating conjunction in this sentence. Find 5 quotes in the scene that you can use to support the topic sentence. Quotes should not be entire sentences. Just 3 or 4 words of a line. Focus on the most important word or words in a line. For each line, write one or two sentences that explain how those lines support your topic sentence. Write a concluding sentence that ties the evidence to the topic sentence.
When Harding talks about the wolves and the rabbits in the common room, the patients describe their belief that the hospital will keep them safe from the dangerous world outside. They all know not to challenge the wolf to combat (1), thinking that the rest of the world is scary and full of wolves. Nurse Ratched is the wolf because everything about her intimidates the patients, including the way she talks. She speaks towards the patients with passive aggression. The fact that she merely needs to insinuate (1) makes them think everyone in society outside of the hospital will speak to them the same way. It sounds terrifying to them, because when she insinuates she doesn t need to directly accuse them. Insinuating makes them come up with their own ways to hate themselves. They hate themselves so much as weak, little rabbits, that they would rather stay in the hospital than leave. Lastly, since they have excluded themselves from the outside world the patients don t know how to handle the real world. Harding says it s not the rabbits place to stick up for his fellow (2) and that they only care about themselves. They can hardly stand up for themselves so they know they would not be able to have the confidence to even leave the hospital to go out.
And to Conclude Return to the main claim. Restate, don t repeat Return to the story Make the whole idea relevant to the audience.
In the poem, Bradstreet does not just present an author lamenting her book; she laments a human being losing the force of her life. The words we write, the thoughts we generate, the opinions we voice, and the stories we share just like a work of art are victim to the whims, misunderstandings, and often flawed intentions of others, a terrifying prospect. However, as terrifying as expressing your ideas may seem, we can derive some optimism in Bradstreet s poem. Perhaps we can use it as a warning: As we consider our own fragile inner-worlds, hopefully and with equal weight we can consider those of others. Ultimately, though eating grasshoppers is scary, at least we can all share in the fact that it s yucky for everyone. In sharing we can find comfort.
Perfection is unattainable. Once you realize that the only way to attain perfection is to avoid conflict and challenge at all costs, you understand that there is no necessity to live a perfect, conflict-free life. Love requires conflict, because you have to accept another person into your identity. Nash accepts that, and has designed a poem that reflects the happy realization that you don t need perfection; you need a little bit of color, a little bit of a burnt lip, and a few shards of broken glass at your feet.
