Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies
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Resolving
Conflict
Azalea Coast Library Association
Meeting – Pine Room - NorthEast
October 25, 2016
Bob Pious, Facilitator
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What is Conflict Resolution? Why Should I Care?
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Reasons for Conflict in Organizations
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Crucial Conversations
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Crucial Conversations Exercise
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Wrap-Up
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The “One Thing” – Take Away!
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The process by which two or more
parties engaged in a disagreement,
dispute, or debate reach an
agreement resolving it.
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Ability to view problems and issues from multiple
perspectives
Strong problem-solving skills
Ability to empathize – perceive and understand the
feelings and emotions of others
Active listening – restating and paraphrasing to confirm
understanding
Control and manage emotions
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Scarcity of resources
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No dedicated conflict management expertise
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Board members may lack expertise and talent
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Roles and responsibilities get confused
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Job descriptions may be unclear
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Turnover may be high
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Others? Why does Conflict Happen in Your Department?
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A Crucial Conversation is when:
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The Stakes are High
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Emotions are Strong and
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Opinions are Opposing
“Speak when you are angry and you will make
the best speech you will ever regret.”
Ambrose Bierce
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The Power of Dialogue
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Start with Heart (Yourself)
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Learn to Look (Safety is at Risk)
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Master Your Stories
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Avoid the “Fool’s Choice” (either/or)
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Dialogue –
The free flow of meaning
between two or more people
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Dialogue Skills are Learnable!
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Work on “Me” First, “Us” Second
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Focus on What You
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Refuse the “Fool’s Choice” (either/or)
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Look for When Safety is “at Risk”
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Look for Content and Conditions
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Look for Your Style when Under Stress
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Stories Create Feelings
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Get in Touch with Your Feelings
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Analyze Your Stories
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Get Back to the Facts
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“It’s Not My Fault” (Victim)
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“It’s All Your Fault” (Villain)
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“There’s Nothing Else I Can Do” (Helpless)
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1) Am I tending not to acknowledge my role in the problem?
2) What do I really want? What results? What relationship?
3) What should I do right now if I really wanted these outcomes?
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Step Back From Your Emotions
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Ask Yourself – What Story am I Telling Myself?
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Ask Yourself – What Do I Really Want?
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“Just the Facts”
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Practice your STATE Skills
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Crucial Conversations
– Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron
McMillan, and Al Switzler
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Crucial Accountability
– Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David
Maxfield, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler
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Thanks for the Feedback
– Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen
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www.CrucialConversations.com/exclusive
- (videos/resources)
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Review the Crucial Conversations Material
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Select the “One Thing” You will Apply from
Today’s Session – Using Hand-Out
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Write it down – You will do WHAT by WHEN and
ask WHO to hold you accountable?
Introduce Myself: Excited to Be Here!
Highlight: Government Background (MSHFA), MBA-MSU, IBM – HR and HR Response Team
Here in Wilmington since 2011 – volunteered at CFCC Job Seekers Lab
LinkedIn Class at CFCC and Career Strategy (Developed LinkedIn Class here at the NorthEast Extension – “LinkedIn for Dummies”!
LinkedIn Guest Speaker at UNCW – BUS 205 Instructor, MGT 457 Instructor – Co-director, CEN
Trainer with local organizations and employers in Wilmington through CFCC
Volunteer: Phoenix Hometown Hires – Mock Interview and Jobs Skills Instructor
Before we proceed: Las Vegas Rules invoked: “What is Said Here Stays Here”!!
Discover the principles and skills needed for conflict resolution, understand sources of conflict in organizations, and learn how to navigate crucial conversations effectively. Equip yourself with valuable insights to handle conflicts in any setting.
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Presentation Transcript
Resolving Conflict Azalea Coast Library Association Meeting Pine Room - NorthEast October 25, 2016 Bob Pious, Facilitator
Agenda/Topics To Be Covered What is Conflict Resolution? Why Should I Care? Reasons for Conflict in Organizations Crucial Conversations Crucial Conversations Exercise Wrap-Up The One Thing Take Away! 2
What is Conflict Resolution ? The process by which two or more parties engaged in a disagreement, dispute, or debate reach an agreement resolving it.
Skills Needed for Conflict Resolution: Ability to view problems and issues from multiple perspectives Strong problem-solving skills Ability to empathize perceive and understand the feelings and emotions of others Active listening restating and paraphrasing to confirm understanding Control and manage emotions
Sources of Conflict in Organizations: Scarcity of resources No dedicated conflict management expertise Board members may lack expertise and talent Roles and responsibilities get confused Job descriptions may be unclear Turnover may be high Others? Why does Conflict Happen in Your Department?
What is a Crucial Conversation ? A Crucial Conversation is when: The Stakes are High Emotions are Strong and Opinions are Opposing
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce
Principles of Crucial Conversations The Power of Dialogue Start with Heart (Yourself) Learn to Look (Safety is at Risk) Master Your Stories
Principles of Crucial Conversations The Power of Dialogue Avoid the Fool s Choice (either/or) Dialogue The free flow of meaning between two or more people Dialogue Skills are Learnable!
Principles of Crucial Conversations Start with Heart (Yourself) Work on Me First, Us Second Focus on What You Really Want Refuse the Fool s Choice (either/or)
Principles of Crucial Conversations Learn to Look (Safety is at Risk) Look for When Safety is at Risk Look for Content and Conditions Look for Your Style when Under Stress
Your Style Under Stress In a Stressful Conversation, do you tend to: Mask? Control? Avoid? OR Label? Withdraw? Attack? WHY? Discuss in pairs
Principles of Crucial Conversations Master Your Stories Stories Create Feelings Get in Touch with Your Feelings Analyze Your Stories Get Back to the Facts
Master Your Stories Introduction: The Power of Mastering Your Stories (Video with Joseph Grenny) www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuJgqTs-G44
Master Your Stories Three Types of Clever Stories : 1) It s Not My Fault (Victim) 2) It s All Your Fault (Villain) 3) There s Nothing Else I Can Do (Helpless)
Master Your Stories - Continued Ask Yourself These Questions About Your Story 1) Am I tending not to acknowledge my role in the problem? 2) What do I really want? What results? What relationship? 3) What should I do right now if I really wanted these outcomes?
How to Have a Crucial Conversation Share Your Facts Tell Your Story Ask for Others Paths Talk Tentatively Encourage Testing
Wrap-Up: Step Back From Your Emotions Ask Yourself What Story am I Telling Myself? Ask Yourself What Do I Really Want? Just the Facts Practice your STATE Skills 18
Sources and Resources Crucial Conversations Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler Crucial Accountability Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler Thanks for the Feedback Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen www.CrucialConversations.com/exclusive - (videos/resources) 19
What is Your One Thing Take Away? Review the Crucial Conversations Material Select the One Thing You will Apply from Today s Session Using Hand-Out Write it down You will do WHAT by WHEN and ask WHO to hold you accountable?
