Effective Child Training Phases for Parenting Success
Learn about the different phases of child training from discipline to coaching, counseling, and adult friendship. Discover valuable insights on incorporating God, setting goals, critical points, and specific strategies for each phase. Insights from scriptures and guidance from experts like Bob Hostetler and Andy and Sandra Stanley provide a comprehensive approach to successful parenting.
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Presentation Transcript
Child Training Phase 1 (Ages 1 5): Discipline Phase Phase 2 (6 12): Coaching Phase Phase 3 (13 18): Counselor (Lord Have Mercy) Phase 4 (18+): Adult Friendship Teaching from Focus on the Family Bob Hostetler Also from Andy and Sandra Stanley
Keep God Involved Through Prayer o Consider a consistent time to come together specifically to pray about training / disciplining your children. o Pray for your children about everything. Through Scripture o Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. o Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not upon your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight. o Lamentations 2:19 Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord. Lift your hands toward him for the life of your young children.
Goals Talk together about it Work to be in agreement and be supportive of each other (Amos 3:3 Unless two be in agreement how can they walk together. ) Pray about everything THEN Build on the framework of these training phases Phase 1 Discipline Phase 2 Coaching Phase 3 Counselor Phase 4 Adult Friendship Be consistent but flexible
Critical Points As you plan each phase, work to be in agreement with what you are going to try and accomplish, how you are going to do it, and what the discipline will look like if they choose not to obey. 1. Proverbs 16:3 Roll you works (plans) upon the Lord (wholly trust and commit them to Him, so that your thoughts will become agreeable to His will) so then shall your plans be established and succeed. Hold the plan loosely and give God the time and freedom to work through the situation. 2. If you make a mistake, admit it and confess it to your children. 3. 4. Try and find a couple to talk to or meet with.
Phase 1 Ages 1-5 Discipline Phase 1. Training a child to respond to and obey your voice. 2. Discipline Determine what you will discipline for and what form of discipline you will use depending on the behavior. 3. Positive reinforcement. yes, because _____ or no, because _____ Proverbs 13:24 - A refusal to correct is refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them. 1 Thessalonians 2:7 - But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children.
Phase 2 Ages 6-12 Coaching Phase Teach self-discipline and responsibility chores, homework, money, team sports, etc You can suffer the pain of regret or the pain of discipline. Teach respect of authority figures parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, In this phase, they begin to go out of your home into the world - other homes, school, sports, Move toward clarifying rather than dictating their choices. Would you rather do this .or that? 1. 2. 3. 4. Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Phase 3 Ages 13-18 Counselor (Lord have Mercy) Phase 1. One thing to be mindful of as parents is the importance of beginning to let go and move away from nurturing and coddling. 2. Training your child to move from dependence to independence. 3. This is the phase where a child can be expected to understand what is right, just and fair. 4. How are you going to handle drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, clothing, music, etc. 5. Help your child think through convictions/boundaries That s a decision you can make.
Phase 3 Continued Isaiah 41:10 Fear not for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you and uphold you with my victorious right hand. 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 As you know how we exhorted (admonished), comforted and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children. Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Phase 4 Adult Friendship No longer proactive involvement More of patient availability Requires a definite letting go Adult friendship Let me know if I can help.
Wrap Up The phases will overlap each other Different children will demand different amounts of flexibility Make a commitment to do your part Pray that your kids will do their part Remember that God is faithful He will ALWAYS do his part!
