Alisha's Journey: Overcoming Co-Dependency, Trauma, and Self-Doubt

FINDING ALISHA
FALL FROM GRACE
THE ROAD HOME
A Blessed Journey
I AM ALISHA R. AND I HAVE A LITTLE
PROBLEM CALLED CO-DEPENDENCY!
Qualifications:
3 12 step programs since 1986
1st CODA experience 1992 – 1993 NYC
2012 – 2017 Returned To CODA – Austin, TX
May 2021 – I returned on my hands and knees!
I am not recovered! That's somebody else!
THE EL RENO
TORNADO 2013
I have spent my
whole life running
from a tornado. 
    Trauma, pain,
myself, the truth
JOPLIN
TORNADO
May 22 2011
MOORE
OKLAHOMA
2013
Destruction
Resurrection
THE WOUND
Born a girl in a boy's body
Physical Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Sexual Abuse
My main abuser was my mother
THE BUILDING STORM: THE WORDS
You are less than nothing
You are not even human
You are not worth the trouble
No one will ever love you
The Threats
THE BUILDING STORM: THE ACTIONS
Spitting on me
Beatings – Age 11
My Father Abandoned Family
Sexual
THE BUILDING STORM: MY BELIEFS
I am not worthy of love
I am a mistake
No one will ever love me
The world is a dangerous place
To keep a partner I have to lie
ANCESTRAL SHAME
LEARNING
TO RUN:
ALL MY
REASONS
WERE TO
STAY SAFE
Appeasement
Sabotage by leaving
Sabotage by resistance
Staying Unconscious
Bad Choices – drama
Lying
The right woman would
fix me
ALLAN'S SINGLES PROFILE FOR DATING
SITES
Sensitive, Intelligent man ready to
commit to running, trying to stay
safe at your expense, and guess
what. I'm really a girl! Give  me a
call! I'm a real catch!!! YIKES!
ALLAN'S RELATIONSHIP RESUME
Four marriages
Four girlfriends since last
marriage
Fantasy and addiction
main companion.
BACK TO CODA 2012-2017
My social club – Building Ego
Patterns of codependency – what
are they?
The steps – good for my other
programs
SPIRITUAL TRANSFORMATION –
TRANSCENDENCE, LETTING GO
I began letting go of all my addictions
I started becoming conscious
I became a student of a  new way of
living.
I started getting honest.
 
GENDER TRANSITION
Authenticity
Honesty
Integrity
I always thought Alisha was the sick one. I
came to see that Allan was the sick one.
ALISHA IS
BORN
A
MOTHERLESS
CHILD
RAGING
PUBERTY
ADOLESCENCE
ENTER LISA
Experienced
Intelligent
Beautiful
Articulate
Funny
Losing her husband
A STOLEN
MOMENT
The beginning of the end
The beginning of a new beginning
MY
CODEPENDENCY
Jealousy
Fear of
Abandonment
Manipulating
Expectations
Posturing
Enmeshment
Disrespect for the
natural rhythm
JULY 12TH 2021
The words – You are not
worth my trouble
This will happen with
anyone you are ever with.
I don't care how you feel
THE ACTION - BLOCKED
RETRAUMATIZED
THE BOTTOM
WHERE MIRACLES HAPPEN
A FERTILE PLACE FOR GROWTH
A MAGICAL PLACE
The universe offered me one loss after another.
Lisa would not be my answer. This bottom really had
nothing to do with Lisa.
RECOVERY
I let the tornado Catch me.
Experiencing the emotions – dropping the story
Humility
Uncompromised
Carefully chosen guides
Coming to terms with my insanity.
Accepting the Rhythm of Relationships
undefined
MY PATTERNS OF CODEPENDENCY
MY RECOVERY
Denial
Compliance
Avoidance
Control
Low Self-esteem
Monday Night Beautiful Mess
undefined
Codependentccccc
STEP ONE
I am powerless over others
Trying to control them makes my
life unmanageable – I LOSE
MYSELF
undefined
W
STEP 2 AND 3
WHERE ALL THE POWER
REALLY IS.
undefined
STEP 4
Looking in the Mirror
Fearless? What is
that?
undefined
STEP 5
GETTING
HONEST
undefined
STEP 6
ENTIRELY READY?
Preparing myself for
divine intervention –
learning to shut up and
pay attention!
undefined
STEP 7
Humility
 
Acceptance
It is not a battle
undefined
STEP 8
Making a list checking it twice
I was at the top
Lisa was second
There were many people I lied to.
undefined
STEP 9
Making Amends
Check my motives
Open to Feedback
Keep Safe- Direct/living
undefined
A WAY OF LIFE
Step 10
Step 11
Step 12
The greatest service I do is sharing my
mistakes and my accountability
RELATIONSHIP WITH THE
DIVINE
Ecstatic Dance
Meditation
Prayer
Breathwork
Spiritual Study
OTHER TOOLS
Dropping thoughts that don't serve me –
Focusing on what does
Free Expression
Fantasy versus Reality
Daily Gratitude
Forgiveness!!!!!
Letting go of outcomes
FUTURE DIRECTIONS
My intention is to bring love
to every interaction
including boundary setting,
saying no, when I'm hurt,
when I'm afraid, when I'm
lost!
THE UNINTENDED
GIFT
I have learned to love
myself exactly as I am. 
I am learning to love
others exactly as they
are.
THE UNINTENDED GIFT
I have learned that I can
love as my deep heart
dictates: I don't have to
give myself away to do it
FINAL
THOUGHTS
 
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Alisha shares her poignant journey of battling co-dependency, trauma, and self-worth struggles through a series of personal experiences including surviving tornadoes, facing abuse, and confronting deep-seated beliefs. Her narrative highlights resilience, self-discovery, and the quest for healing amidst past turmoil.

  • Alisha
  • Co-dependency
  • Trauma
  • Self-worth
  • Healing

Uploaded on Aug 25, 2024 | 0 Views


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  1. FINDING ALISHA FALL FROM GRACE THE ROAD HOME A Blessed Journey

  2. I AM ALISHA R. AND I HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM CALLED CO-DEPENDENCY! Qualifications: 3 12 step programs since 1986 1st CODA experience 1992 1993 NYC 2012 2017 Returned To CODA Austin, TX May 2021 I returned on my hands and knees! I am not recovered! That's somebody else!

  3. THE EL RENO TORNADO 2013 I have spent my whole life running from a tornado. Trauma, pain, myself, the truth

  4. JOPLIN TORNADO May 22 2011

  5. MOORE OKLAHOMA 2013 Destruction Resurrection

  6. THE WOUND Born a girl in a boy's body Physical Abuse Emotional Abuse Sexual Abuse My main abuser was my mother

  7. THE BUILDING STORM: THE WORDS You are less than nothing You are not even human You are not worth the trouble No one will ever love you The Threats

  8. THE BUILDING STORM: THE ACTIONS Spitting on me Beatings Age 11 My Father Abandoned Family Sexual

  9. THE BUILDING STORM: MY BELIEFS I am not worthy of love I am a mistake No one will ever love me The world is a dangerous place To keep a partner I have to lie

  10. ANCESTRAL SHAME

  11. Appeasement Sabotage by leaving Sabotage by resistance Staying Unconscious Bad Choices drama Lying The right woman would fix me LEARNING TO RUN: ALL MY REASONS WERE TO STAY SAFE

  12. ALLAN'S SINGLES PROFILE FOR DATING SITES Sensitive, Intelligent man ready to commit to running, trying to stay safe at your expense, and guess what. I'm really a girl! Give me a call! I'm a real catch!!! YIKES!

  13. ALLAN'S RELATIONSHIP RESUME Four marriages Four girlfriends since last marriage Fantasy and addiction main companion.

  14. BACK TO CODA 2012-2017 My social club Building Ego Patterns of codependency what are they? The steps good for my other programs

  15. SPIRITUAL TRANSFORMATION TRANSCENDENCE, LETTING GO I began letting go of all my addictions I started becoming conscious I became a student of a new way of living. I started getting honest.

  16. GENDER TRANSITION Authenticity Honesty Integrity I always thought Alisha was the sick one. I came to see that Allan was the sick one.

  17. ALISHA IS BORN RAGING PUBERTY ADOLESCENCE A MOTHERLESS CHILD

  18. ENTER LISA Experienced Intelligent Beautiful Articulate Funny Losing her husband

  19. A STOLEN MOMENT The beginning of the end The beginning of a new beginning

  20. MY CODEPENDENCY Jealousy Fear of Abandonment Manipulating Expectations Posturing Enmeshment Disrespect for the natural rhythm

  21. JULY 12TH 2021 The words You are not worth my trouble This will happen with anyone you are ever with. I don't care how you feel THE ACTION - BLOCKED RETRAUMATIZED

  22. THE BOTTOM WHERE MIRACLES HAPPEN A FERTILE PLACE FOR GROWTH A MAGICAL PLACE The universe offered me one loss after another. Lisa would not be my answer. This bottom really had nothing to do with Lisa.

  23. RECOVERY I let the tornado Catch me. Experiencing the emotions dropping the story Humility Uncompromised Carefully chosen guides Coming to terms with my insanity. Accepting the Rhythm of Relationships

  24. MY PATTERNS OF CODEPENDENCY MY RECOVERY Denial Compliance Avoidance Control Low Self-esteem Monday Night Beautiful Mess

  25. STEP ONE Codependentccccc I am powerless over others Trying to control them makes my life unmanageable I LOSE MYSELF

  26. STEP 2 AND 3 W WHERE ALL THE POWER REALLY IS.

  27. STEP 4 Looking in the Mirror Fearless? What is that?

  28. STEP 5 GETTING HONEST

  29. STEP 6 ENTIRELY READY? Preparing myself for divine intervention learning to shut up and pay attention!

  30. STEP 7 Humility Acceptance It is not a battle

  31. STEP 8 Making a list checking it twice I was at the top Lisa was second There were many people I lied to.

  32. STEP 9 Making Amends Check my motives Open to Feedback Keep Safe- Direct/living

  33. A WAY OF LIFE Step 10 Step 11 Step 12 The greatest service I do is sharing my mistakes and my accountability

  34. RELATIONSHIP WITH THE DIVINE Ecstatic Dance Meditation Prayer Breathwork Spiritual Study

  35. OTHER TOOLS Dropping thoughts that don't serve me Focusing on what does Free Expression Fantasy versus Reality Daily Gratitude Forgiveness!!!!! Letting go of outcomes

  36. FUTURE DIRECTIONS My intention is to bring love to every interaction including boundary setting, saying no, when I'm hurt, when I'm afraid, when I'm lost!

  37. THE UNINTENDED GIFT I have learned to love myself exactly as I am. I am learning to love others exactly as they are.

  38. THE UNINTENDED GIFT I have learned that I can love as my deep heart dictates: I don't have to give myself away to do it

  39. Acceptance I am perfectly imperfect FINAL I am on a journey THOUGHTS I am doing the very best I can I am beautiful and so are you!

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