Understanding Forgiveness and Conflict Resolution in Relationships
Forgiveness is a conscious decision to release resentment, crucial in maintaining healthy relationships. Conflict management styles like avoiding, accommodating, and compromising play significant roles in resolving issues effectively.
Download Presentation
Please find below an Image/Link to download the presentation.
The content on the website is provided AS IS for your information and personal use only. It may not be sold, licensed, or shared on other websites without obtaining consent from the author. Download presentation by click this link. If you encounter any issues during the download, it is possible that the publisher has removed the file from their server.
E N D
Presentation Transcript
I. Introduction. * 1. People who live together step on one another s toe all the time. Family - Siblings Church - Church office Work Pastors Session time Community Aunty/Janet Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Col 3:13. 1.
Meaning Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja &uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwix39ezh- TrAhVholwKHcylDEQQFjACegQIDRAH&url=https%3A%2F%2Fgreatergood.berkeley. edu%2Ftopic%2Fforgiveness%2Fdefinition&usg=AOvVaw1_0XglJw9SLzeu3jt2pUAz
Forgiveness & Christianity * 1. Forgiveness lies at the very core of what it means to be a Christian. 2. Two identifying marks of a Christian: giving & forgiving John L. Mason p 68. You are Born An Original, Don t Die A Copy ] 3. Sanctuary = object lesson on God s love & forgiveness. 4. The plan of salvation centers on love and forgiveness. 5. God forgives you as you forgive. Mt 6:12, 14-15.
Common Excuses * 1. He doesn t deserve to be forgiven. What he did to me is too much. Moreover he is not repentant. 2. I can t afford to attend the same church with her. 3. He owes me an apology. I will consider forgiveness if he makes a public apology and pays for his sins. 4. Forgive? How many times should I forgive him? 5. Forgive? What guarantee do I have that she will not do it again?
II. Styles of Conflict Management (Shawchuck: Gangel & Canine). 1. Avoiding i. ii. Withdraws from conflict. Silence = golden. Jacob & Esau. iii. The long term effect is deep-seated hostility. iv. Problems are like disease the longer we refuse to face them the worse they get; and we may come to a stage when the disease is incurable and the problem insoluble . (William Barclay) Refuses to face reality. Adam & Eve.
2. Accommodating Preserves relationships at all costs. Eph 4:32. Well managed relationships glue people together. Relationships are more valuable than conflicting issues. Gen 13:8.
3. Compromising 1. Strike a middle position. 2. Give & take or win-lose approach. 3. Characterized by patience and negotiation. 4. Considers interests of others Phil 2:4. 5. Strives to be at peace with all men 1 Thes 5:13. The Big question is where is my colleague wrong? The Important? is where am I wrong? Even if your colleague is 95% wrong & you are only 5%, apologize for your 5%.
Competing 1. The philosophy of this style, In a conflict you either win or lose. Make sure you win and the other person loses. Aggressiveness, domineering & uncooperative spirit are at play. Personal goals reign supreme. 2. Face conflict directly. 3. Persons using this style use other people as ladders to achieve personal ambitions. 4. They do not want change unless it is in their favor.
III. Forgiveness Involves 4 Elements * 1. Injury: painful 2. Debt: the offender is indebted to you 3. Debt cancellation: helps offender to understand God. Rom 12:20. 4. Provision for bad debts: write them off. Ps 103:10-13; Jer 31:34.
IV. Jesus and Forgiveness. Matt 1:21 1. Reconcile then worship Matt 5:23-24 2. Paralytic. Matt 9:2 3. Zacchaeus. Lk 19:10 4. Woman caught in adultery. Jn 8 5. Thief on the cross. Lk 23:43 6. Those who crucified Him. Lk 23:34 7. Approach throne of grace with confidence. Heb 4:16
How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You 1: Move On Don t keep holding on to past 2: Reconnect to God - Prayer 3: Don't Go to Sleep Angry Eph 4:26 4: Switch the Focus from Blaming Others to Understanding Yourself 5: Avoid Telling People What to Do Do not command others 6: Learn to Let Go Do not dominate (forceful) 7: Take Responsibility for Your Part 8: Let Go of Resentments.
How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You 9: Be kind instead of right 10: Practice giving instead of taking. Leave ego behind 11: Stop looking for occasions to be offended 12: Don t live in the past live in the present 13: Embrace your dark times 14: Refrain from judgement and criticism 15: Send Love
I. Who Initiates Forgiveness? * 1. Adam & Eve 2. Cain 3. David & Bathsheba. 2 Sam 11 God initiates forgiveness. 2 Sam 12:7-8, 13. 4. Come now let us reason together. Is 1:18 5. Joseph & his brothers. Gen 45:5 6. He does not treat us as our sins deserve. As far as the east is from the west so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Ps 103:10-12.
II. How Many Times Do You Forgive? 1. Mahatma Gandhi: If we practiced an eye for an eye & a tooth for a tooth the whole world would be blind & toothless. 2. Fairness & justice say. Tit for tat, One good turn, Early bird, Food for work, Stand for your rights. Christianity is based on mercy. 3. Forgive 1st,2nd,3rdx - door of mercy closes. Start a fight. 4. Peter s generous suggestion 7x. Jesus proposed 70x7. Matt 18:21.
Do not repay evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Pet 3:9, Your Father s house abounds in two gifts: love and forgiveness. You have a responsibility to share these with both friends and foes.
III. Tragedy in Enemy Camp Have you ever been wronged by a loved one? You have several options at your disposal. 1. Stay away from offender & assume with time wound will heal. 2. Stand on imaginary elevated place, watch enemy live his life until some misfortune befalls him. Your response Ahah, at last the Lord has fought my battles . Enemy s misfortune is cause for praise? 3. Endeavor to confront your enemy. Talk over your differences and forgive one another.
VI. Benefits of Forgiveness 1. Forgiveness makes you Christ like. Lack of it breeds hatred. 1 Jn 3:15. 2. It brings the forgiver closer to God. Matt 6:12. 3. Reduces depression. 4. Sow forgiveness & reap peace, friendship & unity. 5. Forgiveness is not natural; it is a gift from the Holy Spirit.
VIII. E. G. White & Forgiveness 1. E G White, What is the fate of those who refuse to forgive? He who refuses to forgive is thereby casting away his own hope of pardon {COL 247.1}.
2. What is the basis of all forgiveness? We are not forgiven because we forgive, but as we forgive. The ground of all forgiveness is found in the unmerited love of God, but by our attitude toward others we show whether we have made that love our own {COL 251.4}. THE END!!
