Plain Language: Techniques, Examples, and Mandates

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Principles of Plain Language
Presented by:
Plain Language Action and Information
Network
2
Overview
Definition of plain language
Plain language techniques
Examples
Next steps
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What is plain language?
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What are the main elements of
plain language?
Logical organization
The active voice
Common, everyday words
Short sentences
“You
 and other pronouns
Lists and tables
Easy-to-read design features
4
5
Plain Writing Act of 2010
 
Requires executive agencies to use plain
Requires executive agencies to use plain
language in documents by October 13, 2011
language in documents by October 13, 2011
In all communications with general public –
In all communications with general public –
except regulations.
except regulations.
6
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Plain Language Mandates
7
Plain Language Myths
Plain Language is 
Plain Language is 
NOT
NOT
:
:
1.
1.
 
 
Baby talk, or an attempt to be folksy, playful, or pc
Baby talk, or an attempt to be folksy, playful, or pc
2.
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Stripping out necessary technical and legal
Stripping out necessary technical and legal
information
information
3.
3.
 
 
Just editorial “polishing” after you finish writing
Just editorial “polishing” after you finish writing
4.
4.
 
 
Imprecise
Imprecise
More Plain Language Myths
5.
 
Just using pronouns in a Q and A format
6.
 
Something the lawyers will never go for
7.
 
Something the Federal Register and OMB will never go
for
8.
 
Easy
8
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Why use Plain Language?
We’re all busy people.
We don’t want to waste a lot of
time trying to translate difficult,
wordy documents.
And when we go to the web, we
want to scan, not read.
10
Why use plain language?
 
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Why use plain language?
Plain Language:
Shows customer focus
Communicates effectively
Eliminates barriers
Reduces time spent explaining
Improves compliance
12
Plain language means fewer calls
from customers
13
What Happens When Readers Don’t
Understand?
You may have to:
Answer phone calls
Write interpretative letters
Write explanatory documents
Litigate
  
14
Pop Quiz
 
Is Springfield the capital of Illinois? Is Chicago's N.F.L.
team named the Packers?
Yes
No
 
 
 
15
Actual State Department question
 
Have you ever been refused admission to the U.S., or
been the subject of a deportation hearing or sought to
obtain or assist others to obtain a visa, entry into the
U.S., or any other U.S. immigration benefit by fraud or
willful misrepresentation or other unlawful means? Have
you attended a U.S. public elementary school on student
(F) status or a public secondary school after November
30, 1996 without reimbursing the school?
     
Yes 
    No
16
Goals of Plain Language
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17
Identify your audience
Think of why the user needs to read your document
 
Keep in mind the average user's level of technical
expertise
Write to everyone who is interested, not just to experts
(focus on the 90 percent of readers in the middle of the
spectrum)
Even an expert will prefer a clearly written document
18
Focus outward--on the reader
 
 
 NOT…
   
            
 BUT…
What do 
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 protect 
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 you?     
    
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clearly express
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19
Coast Guard Boating
Information
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The Coast Guard has conducted an investigation to
determine what carbon monoxide (CO) detection
devices are available to recreational boaters, such
that, when installed and activated could reduce the
risk of being exposed to high levels of CO -THAT
SILENT KILLER. A variety of technologies is available
for detecting the presence of CO on boats and should
be considered by recreational boaters to reduce their
risk of injury or death while boating.
(72 words)
20
Coast Guard Boating
Information
Carbon monoxide is a silent killer.  The
Coast Guard recommends that you use a
carbon monoxide detection device on your
boat to reduce the risk of being exposed to
high levels of CO.  You may choose from
a variety of devices. (39 words)
21
Organize to serve the reader
Anticipate questions an informed
reader is likely to ask
Organize writing to answer questions
in the order the reader will ask them
22
Use headings
Allow the reader to quickly find
relevant information
Break up the information
Increase blank space on the
page
Informative headings help the
reader navigate the document
23
Try question headings
Readers have questions in mind
Questions help readers relate to the
information
Questions help you organize the
information
24
You may apply for an extension of stay in the United States if:
• You were lawfully admitted into the United States as a
nonimmigrant;
• You have not committed any act that makes you ineligible to
receive an immigration benefit;
• There is no other factor that requires you to depart the United
States prior to extending status (for example, a USCIS officer may
determine that you should obtain a new visa prior extending your
status); and
• You submit an application for an extension of stay before the
expiration date on your Form I-94. (There are certain very limited
circumstances under which USCIS will excuse a late submission.)
How do I know if I am eligible to extend my stay in the
United States?
25
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Plain Language and the Web
Web users scan – they don’t read. Many
web pages are too dense.
Plain language helps keep web content as
short and as readable as possible.
Avoid bloat! Less is more!
Web Writing
People read 25%
slower on the Web
Cut out 50% of your
text
Online readers focus on
headings and bulleted
list information
 
Image from Nielson Norman Group
usability eye tracking test (2006)
27
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Keep things short
No one wants to read material like the
next slide.
29
Executive Order 12988
 
With respect to the review of existing regulations and the  promulgation of new
regulations, section 3(a) of Executive Order 12988
,
 “Civil Justice Reform,” 61 FR
4729 (February 7, 1996), imposes on Executive agencies the general duty to adhere
to the following requirements:  (1) Eliminate drafting errors and ambiguity; (2)
write regulations to minimize litigation; and (3) provide a clear legal standard for
affected conduct rather than a general standard and promote simplification and
burden reduction.  With regard to the review required by section 3(a), section 3(b)
of Executive Order 12988 specifically requires that Executive agencies make every
reasonable effort to ensure that the regulation:  (1) Clearly specifies the preemptive
effect, if any; (2) clearly specifies any effect on existing Federal law or regulation;
(3) provides a clear legal standard for affected conduct while promoting
simplification and burden reduction; (4) specifies the retroactive effect, if any; (5)
adequately defines key terms; and (6) addresses other important issues affecting
clarity and general draftsmanship under any guidelines issued by the Attorney
General.  Section 3(c) of Executive Order 12988 requires Executive agencies to
review regulations in light of applicable standards in section 3(a) and section 3(b) to
determine whether they are met or it is unreasonable to meet one or more of them.
DHS has completed the required review and determined that, to the extent
permitted by law, this final rule meets the relevant standards of Executive Order
12988.
30
Revised Version
 
This rule meets the applicable standards in
sections 3(a) and 3(b)(2) of Executive Order
12988.
“The most valuable of all talents is never
using two words when one will do.”
~Thomas Jefferson
31
Use short paragraphs
Limit a paragraph to one subject or
Limit a paragraph to one subject or
step
step
Smaller “bites” of info are easier to
Smaller “bites” of info are easier to
digest
digest
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32
Use short sentences
Treat only one subject in each sentence
Treat only one subject in each sentence
Avoid complexity and confusion
Avoid complexity and confusion
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33
Using pronouns
Pronouns:
Pronouns:
Speak directly to readers
Speak directly to readers
Make your writing relevant to readers
Make your writing relevant to readers
Require less translation from your readers
Require less translation from your readers
Eliminate 
Eliminate 
words
34
Using pronouns
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35
Let’s do an exercise
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Eliminate
Excess words
Some common sources of wordiness (we’ll review only some
of these today)
 Passive voice
 Redundancies
 Prepositional phrases
 Hidden verbs
 Unnecessary modifiers
 Failure to use pronouns
Excess content
Think about your purpose, your topic, and your audience.  If
content doesn’t further your goals, don’t include it!
36
37
Once we establish your goals, we
identify one or more potential
employers. We prepare a preliminary
proposal to present to an employer who
agrees to negotiate a job that meets
both his and your employment needs.
With Pronouns…
With Pronouns…
38
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Once the candidate’s goals
Once the candidate’s goals
are established, one or more
are established, one or more
potential employers are
potential employers are
identified. A preliminary
identified. A preliminary
proposal for presentation to
proposal for presentation to
the employer is developed.
the employer is developed.
The proposal is presented to
The proposal is presented to
an employer who agrees to
an employer who agrees to
negotiate an individualized
negotiate an individualized
job that meets the
job that meets the
employment needs of the
employment needs of the
applicant and real business
applicant and real business
needs of the employer.
needs of the employer.
 
 
52 words
52 words
 
Once 
Once 
we
we
 establish 
 establish 
your
your
 goals,
 goals,
we
we
 identify one or more
 identify one or more
potential employers. 
potential employers. 
We
We
prepare a preliminary
prepare a preliminary
proposal to present to an
proposal to present to an
employer who agrees to
employer who agrees to
negotiate a job that meets
negotiate a job that meets
both 
both 
his
his
 and 
 and 
your
your
employment needs.
employment needs.
 
 
37  words
37  words
39
When Pronouns Don’t Work
If you’re addressing more than one
audience
If you refer readers to more than one office
within your organization
40
Use active, not passive voice
Active voice is more clear, concise
and direct
Passive is a characteristic of
bureaucratese
“Mistakes were made.”
41
Identifying passive voice
   The person doing the action usually follows
   The person doing the action usually follows
 
 
the verb.
the verb.
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to be”
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past participle of another verb.
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42
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disguise
 who does
 who does
what:
what:
The memo was written
The memo was written
yesterday.
yesterday.
A
c
t
i
v
e
 
v
o
i
c
e
Makes it clear who does
what:
The Director wrote the
memo yesterday.
Why Avoid Passive Voice
43
P
P
a
a
s
s
s
s
i
i
v
v
e
e
 
 
V
V
o
o
i
i
c
c
e
e
Is wordy:
Is wordy:
The application must be
The application must be
completed by 
completed by 
the
applicant and
applicant and
received by the
received by the
financial office at the
financial office at the
time designated by
time designated by
that office.
that office.
A
A
c
c
t
t
i
i
v
v
e
e
 
 
V
V
o
o
i
i
c
c
e
e
Is 
Is 
concise
:
:
We must receive your
We must receive your
completed application
completed application
by the deadline that
by the deadline that
we establish.
we establish.
Why Avoid Passive Voice
44
P
a
s
s
i
v
e
 
V
o
i
c
e
Is awkward:
Consultation from
respondents was
obtained to determine
the estimated burden.
A
A
c
c
t
t
i
i
v
v
e
e
 
 
V
V
o
o
i
i
c
c
e
e
Is natural:
Is natural:
We consulted with
We consulted with
respondents
 to
 to
determine the
determine the
estimated burden.
estimated burden.
Why Avoid Passive Voice
45
Passive to Active Voice Exercise
1.
Excess and/or unauthorized expenses, delays,
Excess and/or unauthorized expenses, delays,
or luxury accommodations and services will not
or luxury accommodations and services will not
be reimbursed by the company, but will be
be reimbursed by the company, but will be
borne by the employee.
borne by the employee.
2.
Your application has been denied by the
Your application has been denied by the
Department of State.
Department of State.
3.
3.
 The submission you filed will be reviewed by the
 The submission you filed will be reviewed by the
judges.
judges.
46
 
 
1.
The company will not reimburse you for
The company will not reimburse you for
unauthorized expenses,
unauthorized expenses,
delays, or
delays, or
luxury accommodations and services.
luxury accommodations and services.
 
2.
2.
 The Department of State has denied your
 The Department of State has denied your
application.
application.
 
3.
3.
 The judges will review your submission.
 The judges will review your submission.
 
Possible Answers
47
Avoid hidden verbs
Hidden verbs are verbs disguised as nouns.
They are generally longer than their true
verb forms.
48
Hidden Verbs
Conduct an analysis
 
Present a report
 
Do an assessment
Provide assistance
Came to the conclusion
of
 
Analyze
Report
Assess
Help
 
Concluded
49
Use consistent terms
A
A
v
v
o
o
i
i
d
d
 
 
S
S
h
h
a
a
l
l
l
l
.
.
 
 
 
 
I
I
t
t
 
 
i
i
s
s
 
 
a
a
m
m
b
b
i
i
g
g
u
u
o
o
u
u
s
s
 
 
a
a
n
n
d
d
 
 
i
i
s
s
 
 
n
n
o
o
t
t
u
u
s
s
e
e
d
d
 
 
i
i
n
n
 
 
e
e
v
v
e
e
r
r
y
y
d
d
a
a
y
y
 
 
s
s
p
p
e
e
e
e
c
c
h
h
U
U
s
s
e
e
 
 
m
m
u
u
s
s
t
t
 
 
f
f
o
o
r
r
 
 
a
a
n
n
 
 
o
o
b
b
l
l
i
i
g
g
a
a
t
t
i
i
o
o
n
n
U
U
s
s
e
e
 
 
m
m
u
u
s
s
t
t
 
 
n
n
o
o
t
t
 
 
f
f
o
o
r
r
 
 
a
a
 
 
p
p
r
r
o
o
h
h
i
i
b
b
i
i
t
t
i
i
o
o
n
n
U
U
s
s
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e
 
 
m
m
a
a
y
y
 
 
f
f
o
o
r
r
 
 
a
a
 
 
d
d
i
i
s
s
c
c
r
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e
t
t
i
i
o
o
n
n
a
a
r
r
y
y
 
 
a
a
c
c
t
t
i
i
o
o
n
n
U
U
s
s
e
e
 
 
s
s
h
h
o
o
u
u
l
l
d
d
 
 
f
f
o
o
r
r
 
 
a
a
 
 
 
 
r
r
e
e
c
c
o
o
m
m
m
m
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e
n
n
d
d
a
a
t
t
i
i
o
o
n
n
50
B
r
y
a
n
 
A
.
 
G
a
r
n
e
r
 
o
n
 
S
h
a
l
l
In just about every jurisdiction, courts have held that “shall
can mean not just “must”
 
and “may,” but also “will”
 
and
“is
.” 
 The [U.S. Supreme] Court has [in various
decisions]:
Held that a legislative amendment from “shall” to “may”
had no substantive effect
Held that “shall” means “must” for existing rights, but that
it need not be construed as mandatory when a new right
is created
Acknowledged that, “legal writers sometimes misuse
‘shall’ to mean ‘should,’ ‘will,’ or even ‘may.’ ”
51
Don’t sound so bureaucratic
Limit jargon and acronyms
Contractions aren’t bad
Use everyday words
52
Two kinds of jargon
 
Necessary technical terms
 
Example:
 
Habeas corpus, plaintiff
 
Obscure and often pretentious
language marked by circumlocutions
and long words
 
Example: Hereby, Wherefore, ab initio
53
53
54
Limiting acronyms/abbreviations
Use “we” for the agency
Don’t use acronyms/abbreviations for
infrequent phrases
Try another style (the Council)
Make them pronounceable
 (STARS, TRACON, FSDO)
55
What is this?
56
Use everyday words
 
anticipate
attempt
commence
demonstrate
implement
in the event that
submit
terminate
 
e
x
p
e
c
t
t
r
y
b
e
g
i
n
,
 
s
t
a
r
t
s
h
o
w
,
 
p
r
o
v
e
s
t
a
r
t
i
f
s
e
n
d
,
 
g
i
v
e
e
n
d
,
 
c
a
n
c
e
l
57
Simpler is Better
 
Lithodial fragments ought not to be
projected by the inhabitants of
vitreous abodes.
 
People who live in glass houses
shouldn’t throw stones.
58
Simpler is Better
 
A perissodactyl ungulate may be
propelled toward a body of aqueous
fluid, but such ungulate cannot be
compelled or forcibly induced to
imbibe such fluid.
 
You can lead a horse to water,
but you can’t make him drink.
59
   - Keep subjects and objects close to their verbs.  
   -  Put conditionals such as "only" or "always"
 
next to words they modify.  
   - Don
t misplace modifiers.
   - Put exceptions and long conditions after the
 
main clause, not before or in the middle.
Place words carefully
60
 
Does word placement make a
difference?
 
 
Yesterday a mad dog bit five men and women in
the south end.
 
This section applies to appeals of orders
involving the reporting and payment of royalties
or other payments due under Federal oil and
gas leases pending on the date this rule
becomes effective.
 
This rule proposes the Spring/Summer
subsistence harvest regulations in Alaska for
migratory birds that expire on August 31, 2003.
61
Use lists
Lists--
Make it easy for the reader to
identify all items or steps in a
process,
Add blank space for easy reading,
and
Help the reader see the structure of
your document.
62
But don’t make lists too long
Research suggests that seven items are
the maximum that work well in a list.
Longer lists are hard to navigate.
 
63
How Does This Read?
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) is
expanding its Direct Mail Program to provide that filings
of Form I-800A, Application for Determination of
Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country,
Form I-800A Supplement 1, Listing of Adult Member of
the Household, Supplement 2, Consent to Disclose
Information, Supplement 3, Request for Action on
Approved Form I-800A, Form I-800, Petition to Classify
Convention Adoptee as an Immediate Relative,
Supplement 1, Consent to Disclose Information, for the
Hague Adoption Convention be filed at a designated
Chicago, Illinois lockbox facility for initial processing.
64
Now in List Format
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) is expanding its
Direct Mail Program to include the following forms:
F
o
r
m
 
I
-
8
0
0
A
,
 
A
p
p
l
i
c
a
t
i
o
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f
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D
e
t
e
r
m
i
n
a
t
i
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o
f
 
S
u
i
t
a
b
i
l
i
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y
 
t
o
A
d
o
p
t
 
a
 
C
h
i
l
d
 
f
r
o
m
 
a
 
C
o
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v
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C
o
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n
t
r
y
F
o
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I
-
8
0
0
A
 
S
u
p
p
l
e
m
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t
 
1
,
 
L
i
s
t
i
n
g
 
o
f
 
A
d
u
l
t
 
M
e
m
b
e
r
 
o
f
 
t
h
e
H
o
u
s
e
h
o
l
d
F
o
r
m
 
I
-
8
0
0
A
 
S
u
p
p
l
e
m
e
n
t
 
2
,
 
C
o
n
s
e
n
t
 
t
o
 
D
i
s
c
l
o
s
e
 
I
n
f
o
r
m
a
t
i
o
n
F
o
r
m
 
I
-
8
0
0
A
 
S
u
p
p
l
e
m
e
n
t
 
3
,
 
R
e
q
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s
t
 
f
o
r
 
A
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o
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A
p
p
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o
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F
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I
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8
0
0
A
F
o
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I
-
8
0
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,
 
P
e
t
i
t
i
o
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t
o
 
C
l
a
s
s
i
f
y
 
C
o
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v
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o
n
 
A
d
o
p
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a
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a
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I
m
m
e
d
i
a
t
e
 
R
e
l
a
t
i
v
e
T
h
e
 
F
o
r
m
 
I
-
8
0
0
 
S
u
p
p
l
e
m
e
n
t
 
1
,
 
C
o
n
s
e
n
t
 
t
o
 
D
i
s
c
l
o
s
e
 
I
n
f
o
r
m
a
t
i
o
n
.
Mail these forms to the Chicago Lockbox facility.
65
Why use tables?
Tables--
Save words
Make it easy to locate specific provisions
Make it easy to take in complex material at
a glance
Make your logic and structure clear
66
Sending expense forms
We must receive your completed expense
form on or before the 15th day of the
second month following the month you
are reporting if you do not submit your
form electronically, or the 25th day of the
second month following the month you
are reporting if you submit your form
electronically.
67
When must I send my completed
expense form?
 
If
If
 
 
you send your
you send your
form--
form--
Electronically,
Electronically,
Paper or fax,
Paper or fax,
 
Then
Then
 
 
we must
we must
receive it by--
receive it by--
The 25th day of
The 25th day of
the second…
the second…
The 15th day of
The 15th day of
the second...
the second...
68
Resources for writing
NIH plain language training 
on the web
Plainlanguage.gov
Federal plain language guidelines
Center for Plain Language
W
r
i
t
i
n
g
 
W
e
b
 
C
o
n
t
e
n
t
 
t
h
a
t
 
W
o
r
k
s
,
 
b
y
J
a
n
i
c
e
 
(
G
i
n
n
y
)
 
R
e
d
i
s
h
69
70
What should I do next?
Practice
Practice
Come to PLAIN monthly meetings—2
Come to PLAIN monthly meetings—2
nd
nd
Wednesday of each month, 2 to 3:30 p.m.
Wednesday of each month, 2 to 3:30 p.m.
(locations announced in advance)
(locations announced in advance)
Visit our Web site
Visit our Web site
(
(
www.plainlanguage.gov
www.plainlanguage.gov
)
)
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Plain language is about clear communication that your audience can easily understand. This article covers the definition, techniques, main elements, myths, mandates, and reasons for using plain language. Learn how to create user-friendly content that is accessible to all. Explore the impact of the Plain Writing Act of 2010 and various executive orders promoting plain language in government documents.

  • Plain language
  • Communication
  • Techniques
  • Mandates
  • User-friendly

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  1. Principles of Plain Language Presented by: Plain Language Action and Information Network 1

  2. Overview Definition of plain language Plain language techniques Examples Next steps 2

  3. What is plain language? Communication that your audience or readers can understand the first timethey hear or read it. 3

  4. What are the main elements of plain language? Logical organization The active voice Common, everyday words Short sentences You and other pronouns Lists and tables Easy-to-read design features 4

  5. Plain Writing Act of 2010 Requires executive agencies to use plain language in documents by October 13, 2011 In all communications with general public except regulations. 5

  6. Plain Language Mandates Presidential Memo of June 1, 1998, requires plain language in all documents (including regulations) that we write for the public. E.O. 12866requires that regulations must be simple and easy to understand, with the goal of minimizing uncertainty and litigation... (Sec. 1, Par. (b)(12)) E.O. 12988 requires that each regulation specify its effect in clear language (Sec. 3 Par. (b)(2)) E.O 13563 requires that regulations be accessible, consistent, written in plain language, and easy to understand 6

  7. Plain Language Myths Plain Language is NOT: 1. Baby talk, or an attempt to be folksy, playful, or pc 2. Stripping out necessary technical and legal information 3. Just editorial polishing after you finish writing 4. Imprecise 7

  8. More Plain Language Myths 5. Just using pronouns in a Q and A format 6. Something the lawyers will never go for 7. Something the Federal Register and OMB will never go for 8. Easy 8

  9. Why use Plain Language? We re all busy people. We don t want to waste a lot of time trying to translate difficult, wordy documents. And when we go to the web, we want to scan, not read. 9

  10. Why use plain language? To make your message stand out 10

  11. Why use plain language? Plain Language: Shows customer focus Communicates effectively Eliminates barriers Reduces time spent explaining Improves compliance 11

  12. Plain language means fewer calls from customers Old letter New letter Calls per month (per counsellor) 9.4 1.6 Calls per year (10 counsellors) 1128 192 Veterans Benefits form letter Jackson, MS DVA office 12

  13. What Happens When Readers Dont Understand? You may have to: Answer phone calls Write interpretative letters Write explanatory documents Litigate 13

  14. Pop Quiz Is Springfield the capital of Illinois? Is Chicago's N.F.L. team named the Packers? Yes No 14

  15. Actual State Department question Have you ever been refused admission to the U.S., or been the subject of a deportation hearing or sought to obtain or assist others to obtain a visa, entry into the U.S., or any other U.S. immigration benefit by fraud or willful misrepresentation or other unlawful means? Have you attended a U.S. public elementary school on student (F) status or a public secondary school after November 30, 1996 without reimbursing the school? Yes No 15

  16. Goals of Plain Language Help the reader find the information Help the reader understand the information Remember: If your document doesn t do both, it s not plain language. 16

  17. Identify your audience Think of why the user needs to read your document Keep in mind the average user's level of technical expertise Write to everyone who is interested, not just to experts (focus on the 90 percent of readers in the middle of the spectrum) Even an expert will prefer a clearly written document 17

  18. Focus outward--on the reader NOT BUT What do I want to say? What does the audience need to know? How can I protect my interests? How can I serve the audience s interests? What can I do to impress you? What can I clearly express to the audience? 18

  19. Coast Guard Boating Information CO Detector Update: The Coast Guard has conducted an investigation to determine what carbon monoxide (CO) detection devices are available to recreational boaters, such that, when installed and activated could reduce the risk of being exposed to high levels of CO -THAT SILENT KILLER. A variety of technologies is available for detecting the presence of CO on boats and should be considered by recreational boaters to reduce their risk of injury or death while boating. (72 words) 19

  20. Coast Guard Boating Information Carbon monoxide is a silent killer. The Coast Guard recommends that you use a carbon monoxide detection device on your boat to reduce the risk of being exposed to high levels of CO. You may choose from a variety of devices. (39 words) 20

  21. Organize to serve the reader Anticipate questions an informed reader is likely to ask Organize writing to answer questions in the order the reader will ask them 21

  22. Use headings Allow the reader to quickly find relevant information Break up the information Increase blank space on the page Informative headings help the reader navigate the document 22

  23. Try question headings Readers have questions in mind Questions help readers relate to the information Questions help you organize the information 23

  24. How do I know if I am eligible to extend my stay in the United States? You may apply for an extension of stay in the United States if: You were lawfully admitted into the United States as a nonimmigrant; You have not committed any act that makes you ineligible to receive an immigration benefit; There is no other factor that requires you to depart the United States prior to extending status (for example, a USCIS officer may determine that you should obtain a new visa prior extending your status); and You submit an application for an extension of stay before the expiration date on your Form I-94. (There are certain very limited circumstances under which USCIS will excuse a late submission.) 24

  25. 25

  26. Plain Language and the Web Web users scan they don t read. Many web pages are too dense. Plain language helps keep web content as short and as readable as possible. Avoid bloat! Less is more! 26

  27. Web Writing People read 25% slower on the Web Cut out 50% of your text Online readers focus on headings and bulleted list information Image from Nielson Norman Group usability eye tracking test (2006) 27

  28. Keep things short No one wants to read material like the next slide. 28

  29. Executive Order 12988 With respect to the review of existing regulations and the promulgation of new regulations, section 3(a) of Executive Order 12988, Civil Justice Reform, 61 FR 4729 (February 7, 1996), imposes on Executive agencies the general duty to adhere to the following requirements: (1) Eliminate drafting errors and ambiguity; (2) write regulations to minimize litigation; and (3) provide a clear legal standard for affected conduct rather than a general standard and promote simplification and burden reduction. With regard to the review required by section 3(a), section 3(b) of Executive Order 12988 specifically requires that Executive agencies make every reasonable effort to ensure that the regulation: (1) Clearly specifies the preemptive effect, if any; (2) clearly specifies any effect on existing Federal law or regulation; (3) provides a clear legal standard for affected conduct while promoting simplification and burden reduction; (4) specifies the retroactive effect, if any; (5) adequately defines key terms; and (6) addresses other important issues affecting clarity and general draftsmanship under any guidelines issued by the Attorney General. Section 3(c) of Executive Order 12988 requires Executive agencies to review regulations in light of applicable standards in section 3(a) and section 3(b) to determine whether they are met or it is unreasonable to meet one or more of them. DHS has completed the required review and determined that, to the extent permitted by law, this final rule meets the relevant standards of Executive Order 12988. 29

  30. Revised Version This rule meets the applicable standards in sections 3(a) and 3(b)(2) of Executive Order 12988. The most valuable of all talents is never using two words when one will do. ~Thomas Jefferson 30

  31. Use short paragraphs Limit a paragraph to one subject or step Smaller bites of info are easier to digest Aim for no more than 7 lines 31

  32. Use short sentences Treat only one subject in each sentence Avoid complexity and confusion Aim for 20 words per sentence or fewer 32

  33. Using pronouns Pronouns: Speak directly to readers Make your writing relevant to readers Require less translation from your readers Eliminate words 33

  34. Using pronouns Use we to refer to your agency Use you for the reader If you are using Q&A format, use I in the questions and you in the text 34

  35. Lets do an exercise Once the candidate s goals are established, one or more potential employers are identified. A preliminary proposal for presentation to the employer is developed. The proposal is presented to an employer who agrees to negotiate an individualized job that meets the employment needs of the applicant and real business needs of the employer. 35

  36. Eliminate Excess words Some common sources of wordiness (we ll review only some of these today) Passive voice Redundancies Prepositional phrases Hidden verbs Unnecessary modifiers Failure to use pronouns Excess content Think about your purpose, your topic, and your audience. If content doesn t further your goals, don t include it! 36

  37. With Pronouns Once we establish your goals, we identify one or more potential employers. We prepare a preliminary proposal to present to an employer who agrees to negotiate a job that meets both his and your employment needs. 37

  38. Saving You Words Once the candidate s goals are established, one or more potential employers are identified. A preliminary proposal for presentation to the employer is developed. The proposal is presented to an employer who agrees to negotiate an individualized job that meets the employment needs of the applicant and real business needs of the employer. 52 words Once we establish your goals, we identify one or more potential employers. We prepare a preliminary proposal to present to an employer who agrees to negotiate a job that meets both his and your employment needs. 37 words 38

  39. When Pronouns Dont Work If you re addressing more than one audience If you refer readers to more than one office within your organization 39

  40. Use active, not passive voice Active voice is more clear, concise and direct Passive is a characteristic of bureaucratese Mistakes were made. 40

  41. Identifying passive voice The person doing the action usually follows the verb. Example: Example: Arlene was promoted by her boss. The verb has two parts: The verb to be plus the past participle of another verb. Example: Example: The house will be leased by Fred. 41

  42. Why Avoid Passive Voice Passive voice Can disguise who does what: The memo was written yesterday. Active voice Makes it clear who does what: The Director wrote the memo yesterday. 42

  43. Why Avoid Passive Voice Passive Voice Is wordy: The application must be completed by the applicant and received by the financial office at the time designated by that office. Active Voice Is concise: We must receive your completed application by the deadline that we establish. 43

  44. Why Avoid Passive Voice Passive Voice Is awkward: Consultation from respondents was obtained to determine the estimated burden. Active Voice Is natural: We consulted with respondents to determine the estimated burden. 44

  45. Passive to Active Voice Exercise 1. Excess and/or unauthorized expenses, delays, or luxury accommodations and services will not be reimbursed by the company, but will be borne by the employee. 2. Your application has been denied by the Department of State. 3. The submission you filed will be reviewed by the judges. 45

  46. Possible Answers 1. The company will not reimburse you for unauthorized expenses, delays, or luxury accommodations and services. 2. The Department of State has denied your application. 3. The judges will review your submission. 46

  47. Avoid hidden verbs Hidden verbs are verbs disguised as nouns. They are generally longer than their true verb forms. 47

  48. Hidden Verbs Conduct an analysis Present a report Analyze Report Assess Do an assessment Help Provide assistance Concluded Came to the conclusion of 48

  49. Use consistent terms Avoid Shall. It is ambiguous and is not used in everyday speech Use must for an obligation Use must not for a prohibition Use may for a discretionary action Use should for a recommendation 49

  50. Bryan A. Garner on Shall In just about every jurisdiction, courts have held that shall can mean not just must and may, but also will and is. The [U.S. Supreme] Court has [in various decisions]: Held that a legislative amendment from shall to may had no substantive effect Held that shall means must for existing rights, but that it need not be construed as mandatory when a new right is created Acknowledged that, legal writers sometimes misuse shall to mean should, will, or even may. 50

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