Plain Language: Techniques, Examples, and Mandates

1

Principles of Plain Language

Presented by:

Plain Language Action and Information

Network

2

Overview



Definition of plain language



Plain language techniques



Examples



Next steps

3

What is plain language?

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What are the main elements of

plain language?

–

Logical organization

–

The active voice

–

Common, everyday words

–

Short sentences

–

“You

”

 and other pronouns

–

Lists and tables

–

Easy-to-read design features

4

5

Plain Writing Act of 2010

6

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d

Plain Language Mandates

7

Plain Language Myths

Plain Language is 

Plain Language is 

NOT

NOT

:

:

1.

1.

Baby talk, or an attempt to be folksy, playful, or pc

Baby talk, or an attempt to be folksy, playful, or pc

2.

2.

Stripping out necessary technical and legal

Stripping out necessary technical and legal

information

information

3.

3.

Just editorial “polishing” after you finish writing

Just editorial “polishing” after you finish writing

4.

4.

Imprecise

Imprecise

More Plain Language Myths

5.

Just using pronouns in a Q and A format

6.

Something the lawyers will never go for

7.

Something the Federal Register and OMB will never go

for

8.

Easy

8

9

Why use Plain Language?

We’re all busy people.

We don’t want to waste a lot of

time trying to translate difficult,

wordy documents.

And when we go to the web, we

want to scan, not read.

10

Why use plain language?

11

Why use plain language?

Plain Language:



Shows customer focus



Communicates effectively



Eliminates barriers



Reduces time spent explaining



Improves compliance

12

Plain language means fewer calls

from customers

13

What Happens When Readers Don’t

Understand?

You may have to:

–

Answer phone calls

–

Write interpretative letters

–

Write explanatory documents

–

Litigate

14

Pop Quiz

15

Actual State Department question

Have you ever been refused admission to the U.S., or

been the subject of a deportation hearing or sought to

obtain or assist others to obtain a visa, entry into the

U.S., or any other U.S. immigration benefit by fraud or

willful misrepresentation or other unlawful means? Have

you attended a U.S. public elementary school on student

(F) status or a public secondary school after November

30, 1996 without reimbursing the school?

Yes 

□

    No

□

16

Goals of Plain Language

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17

Identify your audience



Think of why the user needs to read your document



Keep in mind the average user's level of technical

expertise



Write to everyone who is interested, not just to experts

(focus on the 90 percent of readers in the middle of the

spectrum)



Even an expert will prefer a clearly written document

18

Focus outward--on the reader



 NOT…



 BUT…

What do 

I

 want to say? 

     What does 

the audience

need to

know?

How can 

I

 protect 

my 

interests?  

How can 

I

serve 

the audience’s

interests?

What can I do to 

impress

 you?     

What can I 

clearly express

 to the

audience

?

19

Coast Guard Boating

Information



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

The Coast Guard has conducted an investigation to

determine what carbon monoxide (CO) detection

devices are available to recreational boaters, such

that, when installed and activated could reduce the

risk of being exposed to high levels of CO -THAT

SILENT KILLER. A variety of technologies is available

for detecting the presence of CO on boats and should

be considered by recreational boaters to reduce their

risk of injury or death while boating.



(72 words)

20

Coast Guard Boating

Information



Carbon monoxide is a silent killer.  The

Coast Guard recommends that you use a

carbon monoxide detection device on your

boat to reduce the risk of being exposed to

high levels of CO.  You may choose from

a variety of devices. (39 words)

21

Organize to serve the reader



Anticipate questions an informed

reader is likely to ask



Organize writing to answer questions

in the order the reader will ask them

22

Use headings



Allow the reader to quickly find

relevant information



Break up the information



Increase blank space on the

page



Informative headings help the

reader navigate the document

23

Try question headings



Readers have questions in mind



Questions help readers relate to the

information



Questions help you organize the

information

24

You may apply for an extension of stay in the United States if:

• You were lawfully admitted into the United States as a

nonimmigrant;

• You have not committed any act that makes you ineligible to

receive an immigration benefit;

• There is no other factor that requires you to depart the United

States prior to extending status (for example, a USCIS officer may

determine that you should obtain a new visa prior extending your

status); and

• You submit an application for an extension of stay before the

expiration date on your Form I-94. (There are certain very limited

circumstances under which USCIS will excuse a late submission.)

How do I know if I am eligible to extend my stay in the

United States?

25

26

Plain Language and the Web



Web users scan – they don’t read. Many

web pages are too dense.



Plain language helps keep web content as

short and as readable as possible.



Avoid bloat! Less is more!

Web Writing



People read 25%

slower on the Web



Cut out 50% of your

text



Online readers focus on

headings and bulleted

list information

Image from Nielson Norman Group

usability eye tracking test (2006)

27

28

Keep things short

No one wants to read material like the

next slide.

29

Executive Order 12988

With respect to the review of existing regulations and the  promulgation of new

regulations, section 3(a) of Executive Order 12988

,

 “Civil Justice Reform,” 61 FR

4729 (February 7, 1996), imposes on Executive agencies the general duty to adhere

to the following requirements:  (1) Eliminate drafting errors and ambiguity; (2)

write regulations to minimize litigation; and (3) provide a clear legal standard for

affected conduct rather than a general standard and promote simplification and

burden reduction.  With regard to the review required by section 3(a), section 3(b)

of Executive Order 12988 specifically requires that Executive agencies make every

reasonable effort to ensure that the regulation:  (1) Clearly specifies the preemptive

effect, if any; (2) clearly specifies any effect on existing Federal law or regulation;

(3) provides a clear legal standard for affected conduct while promoting

simplification and burden reduction; (4) specifies the retroactive effect, if any; (5)

adequately defines key terms; and (6) addresses other important issues affecting

clarity and general draftsmanship under any guidelines issued by the Attorney

General.  Section 3(c) of Executive Order 12988 requires Executive agencies to

review regulations in light of applicable standards in section 3(a) and section 3(b) to

determine whether they are met or it is unreasonable to meet one or more of them.

DHS has completed the required review and determined that, to the extent

permitted by law, this final rule meets the relevant standards of Executive Order

12988.

30

Revised Version

This rule meets the applicable standards in

sections 3(a) and 3(b)(2) of Executive Order

12988.

“The most valuable of all talents is never

using two words when one will do.”

~Thomas Jefferson

31

Use short paragraphs



Limit a paragraph to one subject or

Limit a paragraph to one subject or

step

step



Smaller “bites” of info are easier to

Smaller “bites” of info are easier to

digest

digest



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32

Use short sentences



Treat only one subject in each sentence

Treat only one subject in each sentence



Avoid complexity and confusion

Avoid complexity and confusion



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Using pronouns

Pronouns:

Pronouns:



Speak directly to readers

Speak directly to readers



Make your writing relevant to readers

Make your writing relevant to readers



Require less translation from your readers

Require less translation from your readers



Eliminate 

Eliminate 

words

34

Using pronouns



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35

Let’s do an exercise

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Eliminate

Excess words

Some common sources of wordiness (we’ll review only some

of these today)

•

 Passive voice

•

 Redundancies

•

 Prepositional phrases

•

 Hidden verbs

•

 Unnecessary modifiers

•

 Failure to use pronouns

Excess content

Think about your purpose, your topic, and your audience.  If

content doesn’t further your goals, don’t include it!

36

37

Once we establish your goals, we

identify one or more potential

employers. We prepare a preliminary

proposal to present to an employer who

agrees to negotiate a job that meets

both his and your employment needs.

With Pronouns…

With Pronouns…

38

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W

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39

When Pronouns Don’t Work



If you’re addressing more than one

audience



If you refer readers to more than one office

within your organization

40

Use active, not passive voice



Active voice is more clear, concise

and direct



Passive is a characteristic of

bureaucratese



“Mistakes were made.”

41

Identifying passive voice



   The person doing the action usually follows

   The person doing the action usually follows

the verb.

the verb.

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

   The verb has two parts: The 

   The verb has two parts: The 

verb 

verb 

“

“

to be”

to be”

 plus

 plus

the 

the 

past participle of another verb.

past participle of another verb.

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42



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Can 

Can 

disguise

 who does

 who does

what:

what:

The memo was written

The memo was written

yesterday.

yesterday.



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Makes it clear who does

what:

The Director wrote the

memo yesterday.

Why Avoid Passive Voice

43



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Is wordy:

The application must be

The application must be

completed by 

completed by 

the

applicant and

applicant and

received by the

received by the

financial office at the

financial office at the

time designated by

time designated by

that office.

that office.



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i

i

v

v

e

e

V

V

o

o

i

i

c

c

e

e

Is 

Is 

concise

:

:

We must receive your

We must receive your

completed application

completed application

by the deadline that

by the deadline that

we establish.

we establish.

Why Avoid Passive Voice

44



P

a

s

s

i

v

e

V

o

i

c

e

Is awkward:

Consultation from

respondents was

obtained to determine

the estimated burden.



A

A

c

c

t

t

i

i

v

v

e

e

V

V

o

o

i

i

c

c

e

e

Is natural:

Is natural:

We consulted with

We consulted with

respondents

 to

 to

determine the

determine the

estimated burden.

estimated burden.

Why Avoid Passive Voice

45

Passive to Active Voice Exercise

1.

Excess and/or unauthorized expenses, delays,

Excess and/or unauthorized expenses, delays,

or luxury accommodations and services will not

or luxury accommodations and services will not

be reimbursed by the company, but will be

be reimbursed by the company, but will be

borne by the employee.

borne by the employee.

2.

Your application has been denied by the

Your application has been denied by the

Department of State.

Department of State.

3.

3.

 The submission you filed will be reviewed by the

 The submission you filed will be reviewed by the

judges.

judges.

46

Possible Answers

47

Avoid hidden verbs

Hidden verbs are verbs disguised as nouns.

They are generally longer than their true

verb forms.

48

Hidden Verbs



Conduct an analysis



Present a report



Do an assessment



Provide assistance



Came to the conclusion

of

49

Use consistent terms



A

A

v

v

o

o

i

i

d

d

“

“

S

S

h

h

a

a

l

l

l

l

.

.

”

”

I

I

t

t

i

i

s

s

a

a

m

m

b

b

i

i

g

g

u

u

o

o

u

u

s

s

a

a

n

n

d

d

i

i

s

s

n

n

o

o

t

t

u

u

s

s

e

e

d

d

i

i

n

n

e

e

v

v

e

e

r

r

y

y

d

d

a

a

y

y

s

s

p

p

e

e

e

e

c

c

h

h



U

U

s

s

e

e

“

“

m

m

u

u

s

s

t

t

”

”

f

f

o

o

r

r

a

a

n

n

o

o

b

b

l

l

i

i

g

g

a

a

t

t

i

i

o

o

n

n



U

U

s

s

e

e

“

“

m

m

u

u

s

s

t

t

n

n

o

o

t

t

”

”

f

f

o

o

r

r

a

a

p

p

r

r

o

o

h

h

i

i

b

b

i

i

t

t

i

i

o

o

n

n



U

U

s

s

e

e

“

“

m

m

a

a

y

y

”

”

f

f

o

o

r

r

a

a

d

d

i

i

s

s

c

c

r

r

e

e

t

t

i

i

o

o

n

n

a

a

r

r

y

y

a

a

c

c

t

t

i

i

o

o

n

n



U

U

s

s

e

e

“

“

s

s

h

h

o

o

u

u

l

l

d

d

”

”

f

f

o

o

r

r

a

a

r

r

e

e

c

c

o

o

m

m

m

m

e

e

n

n

d

d

a

a

t

t

i

i

o

o

n

n

50

B

r

y

a

n

A

.

G

a

r

n

e

r

o

n

“

S

h

a

l

l

”

In just about every jurisdiction, courts have held that “shall

”

can mean not just “must”

and “may,” but also “will”

and

“is

.” 

 The [U.S. Supreme] Court has [in various

decisions]:



Held that a legislative amendment from “shall” to “may”

had no substantive effect



Held that “shall” means “must” for existing rights, but that

it need not be construed as mandatory when a new right

is created



Acknowledged that, “legal writers sometimes misuse

‘shall’ to mean ‘should,’ ‘will,’ or even ‘may.’ ”

51

Don’t sound so bureaucratic



Limit jargon and acronyms



Contractions aren’t bad



Use everyday words

52

Two kinds of jargon

53

53

54

Limiting acronyms/abbreviations



Use “we” for the agency



Don’t use acronyms/abbreviations for

infrequent phrases



Try another style (the Council)



Make them pronounceable

 (STARS, TRACON, FSDO)

55

What is this?

56

Use everyday words

57

Simpler is Better

58

Simpler is Better

59

   - Keep subjects and objects close to their verbs.  

   -  Put conditionals such as "only" or "always"

next to words they modify.  

   - Don

’

t misplace modifiers.

   - Put exceptions and long conditions after the

main clause, not before or in the middle.

Place words carefully

60

61

Use lists

Lists--



Make it easy for the reader to

identify all items or steps in a

process,



Add blank space for easy reading,

and



Help the reader see the structure of

your document.

62

But don’t make lists too long



Research suggests that seven items are

the maximum that work well in a list.



Longer lists are hard to navigate.

63

How Does This Read?



U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) is

expanding its Direct Mail Program to provide that filings

of Form I-800A, Application for Determination of

Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country,

Form I-800A Supplement 1, Listing of Adult Member of

the Household, Supplement 2, Consent to Disclose

Information, Supplement 3, Request for Action on

Approved Form I-800A, Form I-800, Petition to Classify

Convention Adoptee as an Immediate Relative,

Supplement 1, Consent to Disclose Information, for the

Hague Adoption Convention be filed at a designated

Chicago, Illinois lockbox facility for initial processing.

64

Now in List Format

U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) is expanding its

Direct Mail Program to include the following forms:



F

o

r

m

I

-

8

0

0

A

,

A

p

p

l

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c

a

t

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f

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t

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A

d

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o

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n

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

F

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-

8

0

0

A

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,

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d

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

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-

8

0

0

A

S

u

p

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m

e

n

t

2

,

C

o

n

s

e

n

t

t

o

D

i

s

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l

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n

f

o

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m

a

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n



F

o

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-

8

0

0

A

S

u

p

p

l

e

m

e

n

t

3

,

R

e

q

u

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s

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f

o

r

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p

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-

8

0

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

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-

8

0

0

,

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e

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t

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a

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d

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p

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a

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

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h

e

F

o

r

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I

-

8

0

0

S

u

p

p

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m

e

n

t

1

,

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o

n

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t

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D

i

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n

f

o

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a

t

i

o

n

.

Mail these forms to the Chicago Lockbox facility.

65

Why use tables?

Tables--



Save words



Make it easy to locate specific provisions



Make it easy to take in complex material at

a glance



Make your logic and structure clear

66

Sending expense forms

We must receive your completed expense

form on or before the 15th day of the

second month following the month you

are reporting if you do not submit your

form electronically, or the 25th day of the

second month following the month you

are reporting if you submit your form

electronically.

67

When must I send my completed

expense form?

68

Resources for writing



NIH plain language training 

on the web



Plainlanguage.gov



Federal plain language guidelines



Center for Plain Language



W

r

i

t

i

n

g

W

e

b

C

o

n

t

e

n

t

t

h

a

t

W

o

r

k

s

,

b

y

J

a

n

i

c

e

(

G

i

n

n

y

)

R

e

d

i

s

h

69

70

What should I do next?



Practice

Practice



Come to PLAIN monthly meetings—2

Come to PLAIN monthly meetings—2

nd

nd

Wednesday of each month, 2 to 3:30 p.m.

Wednesday of each month, 2 to 3:30 p.m.

(locations announced in advance)

(locations announced in advance)



Visit our Web site

Visit our Web site

(

(

www.plainlanguage.gov

www.plainlanguage.gov

)

)