Nurturing Your Child's Self-Esteem

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PARENTING WORKSHOP SERIES
 
Part 1:
Boosting Your Child’s Self Esteem &
Confidence
 
W
HAT
 
IS
 S
ELF
 
ESTEEM
?
 
Self -esteem is the collection of beliefs or feelings we have about
ourselves. How we view ourselves influences our motivations,
attitudes and behaviors and affects our emotional adjustment.
 
Children create a self-concept based on their interactions with
people. They feel success after many attempts to try something
new and in turn develop ideas about their own capabilities.
 
Self-esteem is the combination of feeling capable and feeling
loved. Healthy self-esteem is achieved when the right balance
between these is reached.
 
S
IGNS
 
OF
 
HEALTHY
 
AND
 
UNHEALTHY
 
SELF
 
ESTEEM
 
    
Self-esteem fluctuates as children grow. It is in a constant state of
change because it is affected by a child’s experiences and new
perceptions.
 
Kids with low self-esteem may
:
not want to try new things
frequently speak negatively about themselves
exhibit a low tolerance for frustration, give up easily, or wait for
someone else to take over
tend to be overly critical and easily disappointed in themselves
view setbacks as permanent and have an overall sense of
pessimism
 
 
 
 
 
S
IGNS
 
OF
 
HEALTHY
 
AND
 
UNHEALTHY
 
SELF
 
ESTEEM
 
 
Kids with healthy self-esteem may
:
 
tend to enjoy interacting with others
typically be comfortable in social situations and enjoy both group
and independent activities
work towards finding solutions when challenges arise and can
experience unhappiness without belittling themselves or others
feel a general sense of optimism
undefined
 
B
OOSTING
 
YOUR
 
CHILD
S
 
SELF
 
ESTEEM
 
Self-esteem is
the real magic
wand that can
form a child's
future. A child's
self-esteem
affects every
area of her
existence, from
friends she
chooses, to how
well she does
academically in
school, to what
kind of job she
gets, to even the
person she
chooses to
marry.
(Stephanie
Martson, family
therapist, author.
The Magic of
Encouragement,
ch. 1 (1990).)
 
Tips for Parents
 
Watch what you say
.
 Kids are sensitive to
parents’ words. Praise your child not only for a
job well done, but also for effort. Be truthful. If
your child doesn’t make the baseball team, avoid
saying something like, “Well, next time you’ll
work harder and make it.” Instead, try “Well,
you didn’t make the team, but I’m really proud
of the effort you put into it.” Reward effort and
completion rather than outcome.
 
undefined
 
B
OOSTING
 
YOUR
 
CHILD
S
 
SELF
 
ESTEEM
 
“Pass down values
every day through
your actions,
your words and your
time with your
kids.”
~ Robert Frank
 
“When we look at a
child, we see that
sense of fullness, of
intrinsic aliveness,
of joy in being, is not
the result of
something
else.  There is value
in just  being
oneself, it is not
because of
something one does
or doesn’t do.  It is
there in the
beginning, when we
are children, but
slowly it gets
lost.”  ~ A.H. Almass
 
 
 
 
Tips for Parents
 
Be a positive role model
.
 If you are overly
harsh on yourself, pessimistic, or unrealistic
about your own abilities and limitations, your
child may mirror you. Bolster your own self-
esteem and your child will have a great role
model.
 
Identify and redirect your child’s
inaccurate beliefs
. 
Parents need to identify
kids’ irrational beliefs about themselves. These
could be about perfection, attractiveness, ability
or anything else. Help your kids to be more
realistic in evaluating themselves. Mistaken
beliefs and inaccurate perceptions of self can
become reality to kids. Encourage your child to
see a situation in its true light.
undefined
 
B
OOSTING
 
YOUR
 
CHILD
S
 
SELF
 
ESTEEM
 
There are no seven
wonders of the
world in the eyes
of a child.
There are seven
million.”
~ Walt Streightiff
 
“If you have only
one smile in you,
give it to the
people you love.”
~ Maya Angelou
 
Tips for Parents
 
Be spontaneous and affectionate
. 
Your
unconditional love and support goes a long way
to boost your child’s self-esteem. Give hugs and
tell your kids you’re proud of them. Many
parents leave little notes in their kids’
lunchboxes that read “ I think you’re awesome!”
Give praise frequently and honestly, without
overdoing it. Children can tell whether
something comes from the heart.
undefined
 
B
OOSTING
 
YOUR
 
CHILD
S
 
SELF
 
ESTEEM
 
The family is both
the fundamental
unit of society as
well as the root of
culture. It ... is a
perpetual source
of encouragement,
advocacy,
assurance, and
emotional
refueling that
empowers a child
to venture with
confidence into the
greater world and
to become all that
he can be.
MARIANNE E.
NEIFERT, 
Dr.
Mom's Parenting
Guide
 
Tips for Parents
 
Give positive, accurate feedback
. 
Try not to
over-generalize or exaggerate your child’s
behavior. Comments like “You always get
yourself so worked up” will make kids feel like
they have no control over their outbursts. A
better option might be, “ You were really mad at
your sister, but I appreciate that you didn’t
scream at her or hit her.” This acknowledges
your child’s feelings, rewards the choice made
and encourages your child to make the right
choice again in the future.
undefined
 
B
OOSTING
 
YOUR
 
CHILD
S
 
SELF
 
ESTEEM
 
Children need
models more than
they need critics.
JOSEPH JOUBER
T, 
Pensées
 
"If you want
children to keep
their feet on the
ground, put some
responsibility on
their shoulders."
-- Abigail Van
Buren
 
 
Tips for Parents
 
Create a safe, loving home environment
.
Kids who don’t feel safe at home may suffer from
low self-esteem. A child who is exposed to
inappropriate situations or violence in the home
may become depressed and withdrawn.  Be on
the look out for signs of problems in school and
with peers. Deal with these issues sensitively,
but quickly. Be mindful to always give your child
the respect and voice they deserve.
 
Help kids become involved in constructive
experiences
. 
Seek out activities for your child
that encourage cooperation rather than
competition. These types of opportunities go a
long way in helping to foster self-esteem. An
example would be a mentoring program in which
an older child helps a younger child.
 
H
OW
 
TO
 
COMPLIMENT
 
YOUR
 
CHILD
 
      
“Remember the time I lost my watch and you
looked all over for it. That was so helpful
and kind”
 
“I love the way your shirt matches your eyes.
The outfit you put together reminds me of
something I saw in a magazine”
 
“I was really having a rough day today. I
didn’t think I was going to be able to make
dinner and finish the laundry. I really
appreciated that you helped set the table
and folded some of the clothes. That helped
me relax, we’re a good team!”
 
Focus on your child’s abilities. Acknowledge
the effort and how she made you feel.
Helps kids picture their accomplishments
and develop their talents.
Gives kids a memory based on their concrete
actions that becomes a part of their sense of
self. Your child will remember this when
she’s feeling down.
 
 
“You’re so smart”
 “You’re so pretty”
“You’re the greatest”
“You’re so nice”
 
Can be seen as mechanical and empty. The
next day it can easily be erased by a negative
comment.
Gives kids a fleeting sense of well being.
Can make kids feel uncomfortable and
defensive (you’re just saying that because
you’re my mother).
Descriptive Praise
Evaluative Praise
 
C
HILDREN
 L
EARN
 W
HAT
 
THEY
 L
IVE
 
    
   If Children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If Children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If Children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If Children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If Children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If Children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If Children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If Children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If Children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If Children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If Children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If Children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If Children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If Children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If Children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If Children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If Children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If Children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If Children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
—Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D
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Self-esteem plays a vital role in a child's development, influencing their beliefs, behaviors, and emotional well-being. Recognizing signs of healthy and unhealthy self-esteem is crucial for parents to support their child's growth. Boosting a child's self-esteem involves praising effort, being a positive role model, and fostering a sense of optimism. This workshop series provides valuable insights and strategies for parents to help build their child's self-esteem effectively.

  • Child development
  • Self-esteem
  • Parenting workshop
  • Boosting confidence
  • Positive reinforcement

Uploaded on Sep 19, 2024 | 0 Views


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  1. PARENTING WORKSHOP SERIES Part 1: Boosting Your Child s Self Esteem & Confidence

  2. WHAT IS SELF ESTEEM? Self -esteem is the collection of beliefs or feelings we have about ourselves. How we view ourselves influences our motivations, attitudes and behaviors and affects our emotional adjustment. Children create a self-concept based on their interactions with people. They feel success after many attempts to try something new and in turn develop ideas about their own capabilities. Self-esteem is the combination of feeling capable and feeling loved. Healthy self-esteem is achieved when the right balance between these is reached.

  3. SIGNS OF HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY SELF ESTEEM Self-esteem fluctuates as children grow. It is in a constant state of change because it is affected by a child s experiences and new perceptions. Kids with low self-esteem may: not want to try new things frequently speak negatively about themselves exhibit a low tolerance for frustration, give up easily, or wait for someone else to take over tend to be overly critical and easily disappointed in themselves view setbacks as permanent and have an overall sense of pessimism

  4. SIGNS OF HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY SELF ESTEEM Kids with healthy self-esteem may: tend to enjoy interacting with others typically be comfortable in social situations and enjoy both group and independent activities work towards finding solutions when challenges arise and can experience unhappiness without belittling themselves or others feel a general sense of optimism

  5. Self-esteem is the real magic wand that can form a child's future. A child's self-esteem affects every area of her existence, from friends she chooses, to how well she does academically in school, to what kind of job she gets, to even the person she chooses to marry. Tips for Parents BOOSTING YOUR CHILD S SELF ESTEEM Watch what you say. Kids are sensitive to parents words. Praise your child not only for a job well done, but also for effort. Be truthful. If your child doesn t make the baseball team, avoid saying something like, Well, next time you ll work harder and make it. Instead, try Well, you didn t make the team, but I m really proud of the effort you put into it. Reward effort and completion rather than outcome. (Stephanie Martson, family therapist, author. The Magic of Encouragement, ch. 1 (1990).)

  6. Pass down values every day through your actions, your words and your time with your kids. ~ Robert Frank Tips for Parents BOOSTING YOUR CHILD S SELF ESTEEM Be a positive role model. If you are overly harsh on yourself, pessimistic, or unrealistic about your own abilities and limitations, your child may mirror you. Bolster your own self- esteem and your child will have a great role model. When we look at a child, we see that sense of fullness, of intrinsic aliveness, of joy in being, is not the result of something else. There is value in just being oneself, it is not because of something one does or doesn t do. It is there in the beginning, when we are children, but slowly it gets lost. ~ A.H. Almass Identify and redirect your child s inaccurate beliefs. Parents need to identify kids irrational beliefs about themselves. These could be about perfection, attractiveness, ability or anything else. Help your kids to be more realistic in evaluating themselves. Mistaken beliefs and inaccurate perceptions of self can become reality to kids. Encourage your child to see a situation in its true light.

  7. There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. ~ Walt Streightiff Tips for Parents BOOSTING YOUR CHILD S SELF ESTEEM Be spontaneous and affectionate. Your unconditional love and support goes a long way to boost your child s self-esteem. Give hugs and tell your kids you re proud of them. Many parents leave little notes in their kids lunchboxes that read I think you re awesome! Give praise frequently and honestly, without overdoing it. Children can tell whether something comes from the heart. If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. ~ Maya Angelou

  8. The family is both the fundamental unit of society as well as the root of culture. It ... is a perpetual source of encouragement, advocacy, assurance, and emotional refueling that empowers a child to venture with confidence into the greater world and to become all that he can be. Tips for Parents BOOSTING YOUR CHILD S SELF ESTEEM Give positive, accurate feedback. Try not to over-generalize or exaggerate your child s behavior. Comments like You always get yourself so worked up will make kids feel like they have no control over their outbursts. A better option might be, You were really mad at your sister, but I appreciate that you didn t scream at her or hit her. This acknowledges your child s feelings, rewards the choice made and encourages your child to make the right choice again in the future. MARIANNE E. NEIFERT, Dr. Mom's Parenting Guide

  9. Children need models more than they need critics. Tips for Parents BOOSTING YOUR CHILD S SELF ESTEEM JOSEPH JOUBER T, Pens es Create a safe, loving home environment. Kids who don t feel safe at home may suffer from low self-esteem. A child who is exposed to inappropriate situations or violence in the home may become depressed and withdrawn. Be on the look out for signs of problems in school and with peers. Deal with these issues sensitively, but quickly. Be mindful to always give your child the respect and voice they deserve. "If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders." -- Abigail Van Buren Help kids become involved in constructive experiences. Seek out activities for your child that encourage cooperation rather than competition. These types of opportunities go a long way in helping to foster self-esteem. An example would be a mentoring program in which an older child helps a younger child.

  10. HOW TO COMPLIMENT YOUR CHILD Descriptive Praise Evaluative Praise Remember the time I lost my watch and you looked all over for it. That was so helpful and kind I love the way your shirt matches your eyes. The outfit you put together reminds me of something I saw in a magazine I was really having a rough day today. I didn t think I was going to be able to make dinner and finish the laundry. I really appreciated that you helped set the table and folded some of the clothes. That helped me relax, we re a good team! You re so smart You re so pretty You re the greatest You re so nice Can be seen as mechanical and empty. The next day it can easily be erased by a negative comment. Gives kids a fleeting sense of well being. Can make kids feel uncomfortable and defensive (you re just saying that because you re my mother). Focus on your child s abilities. Acknowledge the effort and how she made you feel. Helps kids picture their accomplishments and develop their talents. Gives kids a memory based on their concrete actions that becomes a part of their sense of self. Your child will remember this when she s feeling down.

  11. CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE If Children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If Children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If Children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If Children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If Children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. If Children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy. If Children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. If Children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. If Children live with tolerance, they learn patience. If Children live with praise, they learn appreciation. If Children live with acceptance, they learn to love. If Children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. If Children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal. If Children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If Children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness. If Children live with fairness, they learn justice. If Children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect. If Children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them. If Children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live. Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D

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