Nurturing Boys for a Caring Masculinity
Helping boys become caring men
Martin Robb
School of Health, Wellbeing and Social
Care
The Open University
About me
•
Senior Lecturer in the School of Heath, Wellbeing and
Social Care at The Open University
•
Researcher on men, masculinity and care: fathers, men
working in caring professions, boys and young men
using social care services
•
Led UK strand of international study of young men’s
expectations around masculinity (‘Man Box’ project)
•
Worked in community education projects with ex-
offenders, disaffected teenagers, marginalised groups
•
A dad - the father of a son and a daughter
How can we help boys grow into caring
men?
What’s a ‘caring’ man?
If we want to create a gender-equal society and reduce
gender-based violence, then we need men who:
•
play an equal part in the care of children and others
•
treat women and girls with respect and care
•
care for themselves – don’t engage in reckless or self-
harming behaviour
N.B.: It’s not about turning boys into girls or ‘feminising’ men
– boys and men have distinctive and valuable ways of caring
‘Boys are competitive and often aggressive, yes; but
anyone in close contact with them—parents,
grandparents, teachers, coaches, friends—gets daily
proof of their humanity, loyalty, and compassion. In
fact…most boys are not violent. Most are not
unfeeling or antisocial. They are just boys—and
being a boy is not in itself a failing.’
Christina Hoff Sommers
Three things we can do to help…
•
Ensure boys have an experience
of being cared for
•
Give boys an experience of
caring
•
Model positive and healthy
masculinity
Ensure boys have an experience of
being cared for
•
How can you care if you don’t know what care feels like?
•
Too many boys grow up without an experience of consistent care –
especially from another male
•
This can lead to problems such as anxiety, addiction, aggression
•
But it’s never too late:
An experience of consistent care from a mentor, teacher, professional can be
transformative – helping boys to move from ‘care-less’ to ‘care-full’
masculinity
Give boys an experience of caring
•
Caring is a habit – it takes practice
•
Unlike girls, many boys go through childhood without an experience
of caring for another person
•
Men who are involved fathers or work in caring professions have
often had an early experience of caring for others
•
What can we do to give the boys we know an experience of caring –
for other people, animals, their surroundings?
Model positive / healthy masculinity
•
Despite major changes in gender relations, many boys (often the most socially
disadvantaged) still grow up with harmful notions of what it means to be a man.
•
Hide your feelings, don’t show your emotions – bottle it up, take it out in other
ways
•
We need to show boys it’s healthy (and not ‘unmanly’) to show emotion, talk
about feelings, ask for help
•
How can we model positive and healthy ways of being a man – a particular role for
male practitioners, dads, uncles, grandparents?
What can I do…
•
to make sure the boys I work with are cared
for and respected – as boys?
•
to offer boys an experience of caring for
others?
•
to model (or help others model) positive and
healthy ways of being a man?
@MartinRobbOU
https://martinrobb.wordpress.com
Robb, M. (2020),
Men, Masculinities and the
Care of Children: Images, Ideas and Identities
.
London and New York: Routledge
Empowering boys to become caring men involves providing experiences of care, modeling healthy masculinity, and understanding that boys are inherently compassionate. By promoting respect, self-care, and empathy, we can help shape a generation of men who contribute positively to society and foster gender equality. Encouraging boys to embrace caring behaviors does not diminish their masculinity but enriches it, leading to a more compassionate and inclusive world.
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Presentation Transcript
Helping boys become caring men Martin Robb School of Health, Wellbeing and Social Care The Open University
About me Senior Lecturer in the School of Heath, Wellbeing and Social Care at The Open University Researcher on men, masculinity and care: fathers, men working in caring professions, boys and young men using social care services Led UK strand of international study of young men s expectations around masculinity ( Man Box project) Worked in community education projects with ex- offenders, disaffected teenagers, marginalised groups A dad - the father of a son and a daughter
Whats a caring man? If we want to create a gender-equal society and reduce gender-based violence, then we need men who: play an equal part in the care of children and others treat women and girls with respect and care care for themselves don t engage in reckless or self- harming behaviour N.B.: It s not about turning boys into girls or feminising men boys and men have distinctive and valuable ways of caring
Boys are competitive and often aggressive, yes; but anyone in close contact with them parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, friends gets daily proof of their humanity, loyalty, and compassion. In fact most boys are not violent. Most are not unfeeling or antisocial. They are just boys and being a boy is not in itself a failing. Christina Hoff Sommers
Three things we can do to help Ensure boys have an experience of being cared for Give boys an experience of caring Model positive and healthy masculinity
Ensure boys have an experience of being cared for How can you care if you don t know what care feels like? Too many boys grow up without an experience of consistent care especially from another male This can lead to problems such as anxiety, addiction, aggression But it s never too late: An experience of consistent care from a mentor, teacher, professional can be transformative helping boys to move from care-less to care-full masculinity
Give boys an experience of caring Caring is a habit it takes practice Unlike girls, many boys go through childhood without an experience of caring for another person Men who are involved fathers or work in caring professions have often had an early experience of caring for others What can we do to give the boys we know an experience of caring for other people, animals, their surroundings?
Model positive / healthy masculinity Despite major changes in gender relations, many boys (often the most socially disadvantaged) still grow up with harmful notions of what it means to be a man. Hide your feelings, don t show your emotions bottle it up, take it out in other ways We need to show boys it s healthy (and not unmanly ) to show emotion, talk about feelings, ask for help How can we model positive and healthy ways of being a man a particular role for male practitioners, dads, uncles, grandparents?
What can I do to make sure the boys I work with are cared for and respected as boys? to offer boys an experience of caring for others? to model (or help others model) positive and healthy ways of being a man?
@MartinRobbOU https://martinrobb.wordpress.com Robb, M. (2020), Men, Masculinities and the Care of Children: Images, Ideas and Identities. London and New York: Routledge
