Crafting Compelling Personal Statements for College Applications
Learn how to introduce yourself effectively, identify key traits colleges look for, and narrate stories that showcase your strengths in your college application essays. Understand the value of diversity and explore sample traits that can enhance your application.
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Personal Statements for College Turn to a person next to you and introduce yourself.
Personal Essay = Self-Introduction What do you say to introduce yourself? It depends on your audience and your purpose
What do colleges want to know? Will you succeed at college? What kinds of traits would help someone succeed at college? Which traits might impede success? What kinds of value do you add to the college? Why would colleges value diversity? What does diversity add?
Workshop Your Traits! Working Style Take a working style inventory and reflect on your strengths. Tell a story about how your strengths and/or weaknesses played out in a group setting.
Workshop Your Traits! Tell your group a story from your life that illustrates an awareness you have that not everybody has. Adversity Hardship Caretaking Mortality Systemic Marginalization Bigotry and Prejudice Identity Growth Identity Shift
Sample Traits or Qualities Maturity Honesty Integrity Clarity of thought Passion Individuality Positivity Logic Distinctiveness Commitment Self-awareness Compassion and empathy Genuineness and sincerity Leadership Insightfulness Humanity A realistic perspective Enthusiasm Insight into your chosen profession Industriousness and persistence Ability to relate to diverse people Strong written communication skills
Tell Them about You Your goal is to find a real story or two about you that illustrates your strengths. Good stories: Are true Are present Speak your truth (avoid clich s) Allow the reader to visualize you Don t repeat what is already illustrated in your application
How Personal? Choose topics you are comfortable sharing with strangers Small experiences or events can illustrate deep and complex personal traits
Typical Questions What is your academic history? What are your intended major and career goals? How does this school relate? What significant challenge or positive experience has influenced your academic career? What cultural experiences have you had and what did you learn?
Academic History Your college admissions reader, remember, wants to know what traits you possess that will allow you to succeed (or will impede you from succeeding). Don t just summarize your application Illustrate (show, don t tell) something unique about how you approach academics. Avoid hyperbole. Speak your truth. Frame gaps as lessons (in resilience or grit, for example)
Academic History Transcript telling: Biology 101 [Grade] A Personal statement showing: Holding the warm Petri dish, it was clear which colony had been exposed to the antibiotic, and I knew laboratory research would . . .
Academic History Telling about Unique Experience Personal Trait Experience/Maturity Telling: I tried out a lot of different majors before I found one I liked.
Academic History Showing Your Maturity/Experience: At Bellevue College I ve peered at paramecium with the biologists, surveyed the elderly for sociology, and analyzed my racial identity in ethnic studies. So when I discovered my passion for programming, I knew choice to major in Computer Science would hold firm.
Academic History Hyperbole: Ever since I was a little boy I ve always wanted to be a teacher, because teachers change the world. Realistic: I volunteer as a tutor at Puesta del Sol Elementary once a week. I see the circles under the teacher s eyes. She works late nights on course preparation and grading. But I also get to partake in the joy that is created when she and I help a young person learn. Teaching is not a professional choice for me. It s a calling.
Academic History Gaps as Strengths: Some of my greatest strengths as a student come from struggles I have had with school. I was never very good at math, and by the time I came to Bellevue College, I d developed a lot of math anxiety that would prevent me from succeeding at tests. I failed my first math class at Bellevue College. But instead of quitting and going back to my high school, I learned I have the courage and grit to .
Worksheet Notes Take just 2 minutes to write down some notes about what you have done the last couple of years in college.
What are your intended major and career goals? Why did you choose this major? What can this school do for you that perhaps another school cannot? What do you want to do after you graduate?
Major and Goals Vague, not illustrating realistic perspective: I want to attend the University of Washington, study business, and get a job in international trade or marketing.
Major and Goals Realistic, showing knowledge rather than childhood wishes: I ve grown up speaking three languages (English, French and Arabic). My intercultural experience and a degree in Business from the University of Washington s Foster School (along with it s Certificate of International Studies) would allow me to help fill the world s growing need for people with business and cross-cultural communication skills.
Why This School? What not to do Do not remind the school of its ranking, reputation, or history with anything like this: The UW, founded in 1861, is a revered institution, ranked #6 in the nation in nursing. As such, I would be honored to be accepted . . .
Why This School? Instead, address the school s unique features that interest you. Do your research, get to know your audience, and be specific!
Why This School? Research the school Mission Statement Vision & Values Diversity Statement Undergraduate Research Study Abroad Program and Program Faculty Other Brags (Fulbrights, Rhodes Scholars, etc.)
Why This School? Summarize your research in your essay As someone who values . . . . In particular, I m interested in . . . , . . . , . . . , all strengths of the [-----] program, which I m pleased to learn is known for its . . . . Moreover, once I fulfill my remaining prerequisites, I would really look forward to taking . . . , as well as to work with expert teachers and mentors like . . . and . . . Ultimately, . . .
Goals/Why This School? Go ahead and jot down your ideas! Consider, 1) how you have prepared, 2) what you will contribute, and 3) how their program will help you achieve your goals.
Cultural Literacy According to the UW, Culture may be defined broadly. Cultural understanding is often drawn from the ethnic background, customs, values, and ideas of a person s immediate family, community, and/or social environment in which they live. Describe an experience and display your self-awareness. Show how you are mindful about yourselfand your place in the world, and blend such a reflection into any part of or throughout your essay
Identify Your Cultures First, create a cultural inventory for yourself. List ten cultures you belong to. Put a star next to the cultures you were born into. Underline the cultures you cannot choose to leave or to belong to. Circle the cultures that you feel put place an identity box or stereotype upon you OR circle the cultures that you feel fit you really well, but put other identities in boxes or stereotypes. Do any of these cultures conflict? For example, does being Jewish and being American conflict? Does being a woman and being a wrestler conflict?
Flat Awareness: I was born and raised a country girl in Oregon. When I moved to Seattle during High School, I was amazed at the diversity here. Now I love meeting people from all over the world in my classes at Bellevue College. Textured Awareness: I was born in Medford, OR, which today is still 98% White. So I when I took Dr. Erik Davis Race in America class at Bellevue College, I just thought of myself as normal, not White. All of that changed when .
Flat Awareness: My father experienced a lot of racism when he was an international student here in the 1980s. It makes me grateful to live in such an accepting and diverse community now, in the 21st century. Textured Awareness: My father first came to the Seattle area as an international student in the 1980s. As a brown, Muslim man, he still gets a bit nervous when walks through his old neighborhood. Before Kim Pollock s Ethnic Studies course woke me at Bellevue College, I didn t really understand or respect what my father was experiencing. I wear my hijab every day here and yet I only saw myself as a normal kid
Flat Awareness: I love diversity. I think learning about other cultures is fascinating and I can t wait to engage in the diverse population at the University of Washington Textured Awareness: I know that, although we have our own beliefs, opinions, and values, our education can be limited if we are not open to views that might be different from our own. I hope to be an active member of the University of Washington s vibrant student population to enrich my perspective through learning about others For example, when I arrive on campus, I want to get involved in student activities and organizations where I ll have the opportunity to interact with students from all over the region, state, and world. I also hope to learn more about . . . because . . . .
Flat Awareness: I once volunteered at a homeless shelter and was surprised at how different people were from me. Working there has taught me how lucky I am. Textured Awareness: I once volunteered at a homeless shelter as part of our senior community outreach project. I was a bit judgmental at first I thought people became homeless because they didn t want to work or were addicted to drugs or alcohol. However, when I got the chance to talk and listen to the adults and children in the shelter, I found out that I had a lot in common with many of the people there.
Note Your Cultural Experiences Share the ten cultures you wrote down with your group. If the cultures listed by others help you think of more cultures for yourself, write them down! How has your ethnic background, customs, values, and ideas of family, community, and/or social environment affected you? challenged you? enriched you? taught you about yourself? taught you about society?
Challenge or Positive Experience Think of how one culture you belong to has impacted your life as a member of another culture. Tell that story. What happened? What did you learn from the experience? How will you deal with this situation if it should happen again? Focus on showing how your experience empowers you and prepares you for university challenges.
Challenging Experience Telling: I got very sick, and as a result . . . Showing: I tried to lie still, but shivers racked my body. At 3 a.m., I had to change all my clothes and the sheets because my sweat had soaked through everything. Because of the sudden illness, I had to miss my mid-term exam and . . .
Positive Experience Telling: I heard a great speaker give a talk that made me support the value and use of Native American languages. Showing: When Vi Hilbert, who had more strength than people a quarter her age, spoke for an hour without notes to the students in the theater, and then told a story in Lushootseed with consonants and tones I doubt anyone else in the room could repeat, I knew a very special kind of knowledge would be lost with her passing, unless we, the next generation, took up the language with drive and determination. That is why . . .
Challenging/Positive Experience If you have some ideas of what you might want to discuss, please note them on your worksheet.
Form and Style Start with an appeal to emotions to hook and keep readers hooked Avoid a clich and/or boring introduction Don t try too hard. Use your authentic voice.
Avoid starting with anything like these: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is... To whom it may concern In response to question #1... I would like to thank the admissions committee for considering my application. There are three reasons why you should admit me . . . Or ending with something like this: It is my sincere hope that you will grant me the opportunity to attend your fine school.
Start with an opening line that catches the reader s attention: "As I look back, my lack of action seems disgraceful, but at the time, I was simply trying to survive." "Amid an alien expanse of green, the air dry from a season without rain, I labored. http://www.washington.edu/alumni/columns/june09/hub_lines.html
Form and Style Tell a story: narrative or montage The style or tone do not need to reflect or be related to your intended major Content matters most!
Writing Use your notes today for the basis of a draft Start with key ideas and build on them Keep your prompt in front of you
Writing Plan time to write many drafts: Different schools Different purposes Go ask for help generating ideas right away or write several before showing one to someone else satisfy yourself first, then be open to feedback.
Next Step: The Writing Lab Drop by the Writing Lab for a one-to- one talk about it! We re located in D202, the Academic Success Center. http://www.bellevuecollege.edu/asc/w ritinglab
What to Bring to the Writing Lab Your draft printed and double-spaced Application essay prompt Something to write with Your questions and concerns
Final Thoughts Liz Mendez, UW Admissions, advises: Be clear Be descriptive Be genuine Write at a college level Stay within the word limit
Personal Statement Recap Vivid personal story Let whoever reads your essay see you as a unique individual Show how your struggles and triumphs have taught you how to be successful
Web Resources The University of Washington Admissions: http://admit.washington.edu/ Recommended: the Find Quick Answers link under Quick Links For international students: https://www.applyweb.com/apply/uwi/ For all other transfer students: https://www.applyweb.com/apply/uwt/
Web Resources Interview with Philip Ballinger, Director UW Admissions: http://collegeadmissionbook.com/blog/philip-ballinger-university- washington-answers-six-questions Advice from UCLA Admissions Officers: http://www.admissions.ucla.edu/prospect/perstmt.htm Personal Statement Workshop Video (Univ. of CA): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zo6NI4wHf4 The YUNiversity s What You Need to Know About College Application Essays : https://medium.com/i-love-charts/how-to-get-started-on-writing- your-college-application-essay-72c80c5ca139
