Embracing The Third Thirty: A Guide to Living a Fulfilling Life in Your Golden Years

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Explore the transformative journey of transitioning into the final third of life with "Advisory and Prayerful Insight on How to Make Boomers and Beyond" by Chris Pomfret. This book challenges conventional thinking on ageing, offering tools for downsizing, letting go, and redefining retirement. Discover facts, insights, and practical advice on ageing, caregiving, life expectancy, and the importance of planning for the future. Reflect on the three thirties of life and embrace spiritual growth as you navigate this pivotal stage. Engage with thought-provoking content and consider how to make the most of the later years for a fulfilling and meaningful experience.

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Advisory and Prayerful Insight on How to Make Boomers and Beyond; A New Age of Ageing the Final Third of Your Life as Much Fun as Possible . .For Everyone! by Chris Pomfret Founder of The Third Thirty

We Live in Unprecedented Times!

OVERVIEW The reality in the world right now; The good and not so good. A challenge to past/conventional thinking Third Thirty Challenges Downsizing Letting Go Quelling our fears Retirement re-defined Tools for making a difference

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POLL THE AUDIENCE Who is: Retired? Looking after, or has looked after, aging parents? Not truly enjoying their later life? Came to Melanie Lambert s workshop yesterday?

Some Current Facts In 2012, there were 42M adult children giving care to one or more parents. US Census Bureau: Centenarians population in 2010 was 70,000 In 2050 it will increase beyond 600,000 National Center on Health Statistics: Life expectancy for males aged 65 is 82.5 and is increasing by 2.5X that of women (85 yrs) In 1990 it was 80 yrs (men) and 84 yrs (women) Life expectancy grows by around 0.2 yrs/yr for men. Just 8% of Americans have talked about how they ll tackle the last third of their lives Only 5% have talked about it with their children

Life is made up of Three Thirties Warning: Dangerous precipice! Warning: Past 30 year performance is no guarantee of the future! Mental & Physical Capability Married & Children Retirement Job Diploma Petulant Walk unaided Petulant? Walk unaided? Spiritual Growth Spoon-fed Spoon-fed? Diapers Crib Diapers? 30 60 90 Age

The preparations we all make for our end-of-life are, (I contend), not complete until we have addressed all three elements: Wealth, Health, .. but what about Self 1. Wealth: Money management, Investments, Life Insurance, Last Will and Testament. 2. Health: Doctor s visits, Insurance, diet, weight, exercise. 3. Self:aka Everything else . Ensuring your family knows your wishes, knows where everything is, and you have simplified your life, for you and them. TO DO!

Billy Grahams Perspectives Selected quotes from his book Nearing Home No-one taught me how to live in the years before I die. I wish they had .. The best way to meet the challenges of old age is to prepare for them before they arrive Don t resent growing old. Many are denied the privilege The generations that follow are learning about growing old from us. (About a business owner) I never thought about it much; if I d run my business with as little advanced planning as I gave to my retirement years, I d have been bankrupt .. Have a plan for retirement; think it out maybe don t change too many things at once

INTERACTIVE EXERCISE #1 WHAT ARE THE THINGS WE FEAR AS WE AGE?

What is it that we fear as we age? You probably said: Losing independence, especially driving privileges Losing health, e.g. mobility, eyesight, mental faculties Loneliness if spouse passes away Getting rid of one s clutter Having enough money to live on after we retire How long will we actually live Our appearance (wrinkles, loss of hair, use of cane ) Being a burden to other family members Life changing events happening without warning

Typical Events in our Third Thirty Joys Concerns Children s marriages and grandchildren Children divorcing, losing jobs, coming back home to live Great grandchildren! Health! Mortgage paid off Financial Security Empty-nester life Spousal Care-giving Golden Years Retirement (depending on your definition) Retirement (depending on your definition) Time to smell the roses

Addressing the fears What are our options? Leave it in God s hand/let nature take its course Figure it out when things happen It s too depressing to even think about it Maybe there is a fourth option .. Consider what we have already done to prepare financially and to put our affairs in order? Shouldn t we adopt the same approach to address our other fears ? i.e. Confront them so that we control the situation as best as we can and thus minimize the impact on us and our immediate families

INTERACTIVE EXERCISE #2 WHAT ARE THE HOUSING OPTIONS/ SOLUTIONS AVAILABLE TO US AS WE AGE?

WHERE SHALL WE LIVE? You probably said: Four Possible Options Stay living in your existing home forever Downsize but stay living independently Downsize until no longer practical/safe to live independently. Move in with a loved one/close friend. (Possible Fifth) Team up as a group and live together

The Three Ps PRAY: Start to pray about Finding and using faith and spirituality to accept the reality of aging How to finish strong How to let go of all that we ve been so used to Minimizing the burden to your survivors PLAN: Do some what if s : e.g. What if you or your spouse suddenly had an event ? What if you suddenly needed to move from your current home PREPARE: Take positive action Start to de-clutter; make small steps ( one drawer at a time ) Talk to your loved ones about your future and the Third Thirty expected happenings

STEP 1: PRAY Familiarizing yourself mentally with the future is half-way to accepting the inevitable. Internalize; talk to yourself, pray about it Externalize! Talk with your spouse, siblings, children. Discuss it with colleagues, Consider if/how you will let your children be a parent to you Can you discuss issues with them and take their advice How s your decision-making abilities and confidence? Are things becoming more complex to understand and analyze?

Some Everyday Thoughts in Our Third Thirty How does God want us to live out the final third of our lives? What legacy does He want us to leave behind? How do we want to cement the last impressions of ourselves into our loved ones? Does God want us to have the grace to: Accept help from others, especially our children? Let go of things with faith, trust and wisdom? Be the example to our peers and successors?

INTERACTIVE EXERCISE #3 WHAT ARE THE TYPES OF THINGS WE SHOULD DO IN RETIREMENT SO AS TO ESTABLISH OR MAINTAIN A SENSE OF PURPOSE?

RETIREMENT PREPARATION Change the names of the 7 days of the week to 7 new names Physical health day Mental Health day Spouse/partner day Give back day Hobbies day Jobs day God/faith/spiritual day Embracing each of these days will increase our fulfilment, enjoyment, and longevity of life.

SO WHAT? TALK OR ACTION? By hearing the experiences of others, we are typically Inspired Comforted Educated Helped Strengthed Joined by a common bond Starting a Third Thirty Discussion Group within a Church or community provides a forum for open discussion of a topic that is otherwise shunned. It helps those who are: struggling with finding a sense of purpose after retirement; wondering how to deal with difficult parents ; the emotional issues; or conflicts within married couples as to how to age .

EXAMPLE OUTLINE OF A THIRD THIRTY DISCUSSION GROUP Meet occasionally (monthly) and someone leads a discussion on topics like: The pros and cons of Aging in Place Can we willingly let our children take care of us? Asking for help or accepting help when offered Making the most of every day of our retired life Letting go of our fears and our stuff! Overcoming our pride and independence End-of-life wishes and making them known. . the list is endless

TOOLS FOR BOOMERS (AND THOSE THAT FOLLOW) THE THIRD THIRTY A Candid, Spiritual Exploration of Realities and Challenges we face in the Years 60-90. SYLLABUS FOR MODERATORS Available from Chris Pomfret cjpomfret1954@gmail.com

OUTLINE Background and Orientation for Moderators. Session 1: Orientation and Points of Reference Session 2: Introduction to the Personal concerns Session 3: Being Parents to Parents Session 4: Retirement home, your home, or your children s home? Session 5: We Are What We Eat, and More! Session 6: Accepting the inevitabilities of our health and the consequences Session 7: End of Life Decisions and Advanced Directives Session 8: How does God want us to live out the final third of our lives? SESSION 9: The Ten Commandments of Faith and Fitness SESSION 10: How different is a Third Thirty for those who don t fit the mold ? SESSION 11: Preparing for Retirement and Finding a new Purpose in Life SESSION 12: Hearing loss; are we listening? And more as identified ..

NAVIGATING THE THIRD THIRTY Imagine being at the top of a ski slope with several trees to avoid All your family is at the bottom watching you with anticipation How do you get safely to the bottom? Survey the scene, the big picture Pick out the trouble spots/possible challenges (i.e. trees ) Assess the degree of difficulty; what you ll need to do at the various challenges; ask advice from the expert skiers at the top of the slope Set off carefully but purposely and with confidence Adjust your technique and maybe your strategy as you head downhill Some trees will be easier, or more difficult, than you expected Some rocks will appear, suddenly, and with little notice Focus as you encounter each one to get past them as safely as possible Arrive at the bottom feeling that you did the best you could And your family watching didn t get worried/anxious